Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Which is probably everyone.

Here is my question - how long is the average Hora? I had always imagined that the Hora at my wedding would be at least 10 minutes, if not longer. We plan to do it first, right after we are introduced to really kick off the reception. The Hora is one of the parts I am most looking forward to, because to me it just represents what a Jewish wedding is all about. But, the majority of guests who will be at my wedding aren't Jewish (including all of my FH's family - he is converting), so I don't want to have the DJ keep the Hora going for longer then anyone is interested in doing it. He said he generally plays a 7 minute mix. That just seems so short to me.... but, I don't know if I am distorting the time in my head. For some reason, this is stressing me out so much.....

Jewish brides, how long was yours? And everyone, from your experience, what are your opinions on this? Thanks!!! I appreciate any advice.

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

I'm not jewish but my fiancee is so we will be doing the hora..and them lifting us up in chairs and all. I thought it was like a five minute thing lol So 7-10 minutes long eh??

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

We're having a typical conservative Jewish Wedding, we wanted a 10-15 minute Hora, our band is not a jewish band, so I'm kind of nervous they won't be able to do it.....But typically the ones I've danced at have been 10-15 mins

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Thanks everyone. I am also having a typical Conservative wedding, so I always expected the Hora would be about 10-15 minutes long... good to know I am not the only one!! I am glad I checked with my DJ though... I am going to have him search for a longer mix to play.

Robinella - my DJ told me he also has a 3 minute mix he uses, so it can definitely be shorter if you want it to be. I was just not sure if 10 minutes was too long... or if I had a skewed image of what it should be.

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

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Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

So nice to meet someone in the same boat!! I have been asking around (I haven't been to many weddings, so I turned to my more 'wedding experienced' friends ) and people keep telling me not to worry and that everyone always joins in and has fun with it. I am also planning to speak with them about all the traditions and what will go on. The bigger problem is that there is a communication barrier (FH is Korean and his parents don't speak English very well), so it is especially hard to explain all the Jewish stuff to them. I am in the process of making a program now that we will have translated into Korean. We plan to use that to really go over everything with them. I think it will help a lot for them to read it in their own language. They keep asking about this 'Jewish Wedding' -- I think they expect all sorts of weird rituals!!

As for the ceremony, I just assumed both parents will walk him down the aisle... I don't think they will mind that - in fact, they will probably like it. As for the chuppah... that has been hard to figure out. Of course my parents want to be up there the entire time, but I think it will be really uncomfortable for his parents to be up there for the whole ceremony that is so foreign to them. I was thinking of maybe compromising and having it just be us and the Rabbi up there for the first part of the ceremony and then having the parents be invited to join us right before (or right after, not sure) the ring ceremony and be there for the Sheva Brachot. I need to talk to the Rabbi about that still. I didn't even think that they may not be allowed under the chuppah. I am pretty sure there is no law about who stands under there with you, as long as the Bride and Groom are married under one.

How is your FH's conversion going? How is his family reacting to it? My FH is supposed to be 'official' by the end of January. I can't wait to throw him a bar mitzva!!

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

We have been going through the conversion process for about a year. We got lucky and found the Rabbi we are working with pretty quickly at a Conservative synagogue near us in Brooklyn. After a few initial meetings, she suggested we sign up for an Intro to Judaism course that ended up being 9 months long! We just finished it in early October. It was great to meet other couples similar to us and nice for us to learn together. MY FH met with the Rabbi every few weeks while taking the course, but since we have completed it, they are meeting more regularly (one on one at least every other week) to discuss specific areas he is interested in learning more about. The Rabbi can be hard to pin down at times, but overall she has been really great. They just had a meeting last night and she told my FH that she had heard what she needed to hear and really felt like he was really ready to convert. She said that everything (mikva, brit milah, beit din) will take place on one day and she is trying to set up appointments for 1/15 or 1/16.

As for whether he likes it or not... well, that is more difficult. I know that he would not be doing this if it wasn't so incredibly important to me and my family, but at the same time he doesn't hate it or anything. He wasn't brought up with any religious affiliation, so hasn't been difficult in the sense of having to give up old beliefs. And I know he finds it interesting in general.

How is your FH doing with it all? Have you tried maybe finding another Rabbi if the one you are dealing with is unresponsive? Sorry if your family is having some trouble with it... I can absolutely relate! But, now that he is almost in the home stretch and has been so good about it all, they are FINE with it. Sometimes, I think they like him more then me!!!

If you like, email me at [email protected] and we can chat more.

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

just curious since it looks like you guys all got married already, how did the hora go? We will be having a typical conservative wedding and my fiancee wants a long hora, but I'm also worried that the band we are planning on going with might not be able to swing is, as I'm not sure they've done many jewish weddings. Would love any advice or input as to how your weddings went!

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Had a conservative jewish wedding and the band played for about 10-12 minutes. All I know is that I was sweating after. The whole crowd danced the whole thing. We also did it after our first dance.

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

You would be surprised how many non-Jewish guests like being a part of the festivities. They get up and dance with everyone else! Many have not ever been to a Jewish wedding. If your DJ or band is good enough so that ALL of your guests are up, there is generally no room to do the hora correctly. I am REALLY looking forward to this part. 7-10 minutes is not a lot of time but it is action packed!

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Wow it has been a LONG time since I was on this site! But, it reminds me to post my review...better late then never, right?

Anyway, I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed with my Horah. A lot of my concerns came true. After the initial couple of minutes, so many people stopped dancing and just stood back, clapping and watching. But, we had a pretty small wedding, so when half the people step back, it makes an impact. I was especially upset when I went into the middle to dance with either my sister or mom or BMs, b/c I expected people to dance around us, but everyone kinda stopped and watched, so I felt weird. The thing is my expectations were really high. I wanted this wild, crazy, long Horah, but we barely had any Jewish people at my Jewish wedding, so looking back, it was pretty good considering. I was also kind of annoyed during it b/c my bustle wasn't up right, so people kept stepping on my dress and it felt like I was being pulled down. So, really, it was probably a good thing that it didn't last any longer then it did - no one needs to see a topless bride!!

The best part was when we went up in the chairs. First DH and I, then my parents, then DH's. DH, my parents and I were holding on for dear life, but DH's parents LOVED it. They are Korean and so unfamiliar with this tradition, so DH had originally said we shouldn't even offer them the chance to go up on them, but I'm so glad we did. I didn't want them to feel left out and they were naturals! Hands up in the air, laughing and yelling. One of my favorite pictures is of me and DH watching them - we are hysterical.

Don't worry, your horah and the rest of the wedding will be great. I know I was upset for a minute, but got right over it. There was so much going on and so much more to the night. If you are concerned, do what I did and put a couple of people in charge of getting everyone one up and going. One of my BM and her husband were SO great. They got people moving, showed them what to do and really made the Horah happen.

Good luck!! If you have any other questions, let me know.

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Oh one more thing about the music - I had a DJ, so I went and found a horah mix I liked and gave it to him to use. In my experience all bands know some kind of horah mix, but you can always find one you like better and play it for them if you want to give them a clearer idea of what you want.

I went thru TONS of Jewish music CDs/iTunes to find the right mix and to find the songs that I walked down the aisle too. If you need suggestions or want to know what I ended up with, let me know.

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

I didn't know there was a mix! I would like mine to be 10-15 minutes. It's Jewish on both sides so I'm sure they'll looking forward to it.

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Can you let us know which mix you ended up using? Thanks!!!

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...

Re: Hora question for Jewish Brides or anyone who has danced in one...