LIWeddings.com
Post New Topic

How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

EJSD2006 Posted:

How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

Since we got engaged, FH and I have a joint savings account but still keep separate checking accounts and it will be this way until after the wedding. We contribute weekly to our savings account to take care of the 'lump sum' due 1 month before the wedding. However, I have less bills than FH does and he feels that all of the downpayments should be coming from my checking account, since we don't touch our savings at all. Since I have more money left in my checking account at the end of the month, he wants me to pay for the deposits. Does this sound fair to you? Would you be okay with this? I'm so used to it being MY money that it was weird for him to dictate to me where my money should go. What would you do?

shellibean Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

Honestly, I am not sure I would be okay with what FH is asking. If he expects you to pay the deposits down from your checking, than maybe he should add a little more per month to the joint saving account...just a thought. I know that finances can be a source of stress, but it also needs to be fair! FH and I have a joint checking account and we use it to pay deposits/payments. We each still have our own savings and checking account for now. Hope this helps!!

October Bliss Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

We have joint wedding savings account and individual accounts for our own monthly expenses. I paid the deposit on the hall. All other vendor deposits have come from the joint account.

BklynItaliana Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

you guys are going to be married and sharing money anyway.. i think us 07ers need to get used to the fact that it's not just 'me' or 'I' it is 'us' now.. if his bills are from stupid things like him buying unnecessary 'toys'(ie baseball/football/hockey tickets) for himself.. then you need to put a stop to it.. if it's for resonable things like rent/ car and unavoidable monthly living expenses then there isn't much you can do to get around them..

I am going through this now.. FH makes more than i do.. but contributes less to the savings account.. but he also has car payments and other expenses that i don't.. so i'm okay with it..

Each situation is different..
Goldi1021 Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

We each have separate checking accounts. We have two savings accounts - one for wedding expenses and one for rainy day expenses. We started living together in the beginning of September. Since then, I give him a certain amount of money each pay check. Half goes to rent, a part goes to wedding and a part goes to the rainy day fund. If you put all of your extra money towards the wedding and you have nothing left, then you get screwed in the case of an emergency. We have had a couple so far.

BklynItaliana Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

i agree there should always be the back up money for those rainy days..

Shiv Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

Every situation is different, you have to do what works for you. It has to be something you're both comfortable with and your mind-set for spending should be on the same level- like we both want to save money so we'll cut out the little extras we buy and so on.

It's hard to bring the idea of your money is his and his is yours, but it is nice when you're not constantly thinking about who's paying for what because it's all one.

I can tell you that I am paying for the majority of the wedding costs right now. It was hard to swallow in the beginning, but I'm ok with it now and he pays me back by doing the dishes, hehe!
marymoon Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

It is really an individual thing, and since it's on your mind, you two should sit down and have a talk about it. Since we got engaged, FH and I opened a joint savings account where we deposited our engagement gifts. He has another savings account where he's been putting money away for the wedding, b/c it's easy for him to make the transfers from his checking account. I am in school, so I don't make money, but we pretty much discuss all finances jointly. Even though he's the only one working, it's 'our money' and we have joint credit cards and stuff like that. Our money is pretty much all mushed together. I have a separate savings account that I'm not going to touch for the wedding, which is enough for a 'rainy day fund' and FH's personal savings pretty much became the wedding fund. When I graduate and start working, basically my whole paycheck is going to go to the wedding fund. I know, sounds complictaed. but the point is, whatever works!

espresso Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

honestly I think its hard now because you are still thinking of money as mine and his, which is really tough to move away from. but the money will really belong to both of you soon, so try to think of it that way.

I'm still in school, so my fiance is paying for almost everything so far, but once i start work in sept I'm going to deposit double what he is in the wedding savings account.

I agree it depends on everyones situation. if you feel he's not contributing at all, or not enough, talk to him about it.
EJSD2006 Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

don't get me wrong girls. it's not that i feel FH is not contributing, it was just weird to have him tell me where my money should go. For so long, I've spent it however i wanted. it's going to be a weird transition from 'mine' to 'ours'. i guess since I have more money at the end of each month, i should be contributing more.

babybug631 Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

I'm having a very hard time with the joint money thing. I never tell him what to do with his money, like the time when he bought a $2000 surround sound system without telling me. I didn't give him a hard time. But when I go a buy a pair of Chanel sunglasses it's like I commited the worst crime. I just got a new job, so I rewarded myself, and now I feel guilty because he makes me feel like I have a spending problem. I'm so used to not having to answer to anyone. It's been a difficult transition.

evnme Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

we opened a joint savings acct for the wedding and an acct to save for an apt.

we also each have our own separate checking accts, etc
BernandRob Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

We have a joint savings and checking account. With my check we pay our regular bills and with his check we put it into the savings account and will use it for a down payment on the house, and for paying our wedding expenses

Ophelia42 Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

We have completely separate accounts right now (savings and checking) but we will combine them all after we get married.

Honestly, they might as well be combined now. After we moved here (Chicago), I was unemployed for a while and we lived on his salary alone. Now that I'm employed, the majority of our daily expenses/bills still come from his account, and we save all of my salary. While technically all that 'savings' is in my name only, I consider it ours (just as I consider what *is* in his name ours as well). Whenever wedding costs (or any other costs, since we're saving for a house now too) - it's always how much 'WE' have - even though they're separate :)

We've been living together for 4 years now, and this is just the way we've always done it (though we've switched back and forth a few times over who actually 'pays' the bills - when we previously lived in CT, all the bills were paid out of my account, since I was making more (I'm technically making more again now, but since he was paying when I was unemployed, we just left things as they were)

giapet99 Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

We are going to open up a joint savings account and put in a set amount each week so that we contribute the same amount. Unfortunately we just can't find time to get to the bank. As for the down payments we both have given money towards them. Right now we just both put money into our savings account and don't touch it because thats our wedding money. Once we open up the joint account we'll take whatever is in our savings.

I think it depends though on how you feel. If you think that he is spending his money on stupid things then I would say something and tell him that he needs to start contributing more. Otherwise I would just leave the subject alone it's going to be both your money soon
SillyBeans Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

Right now all of our accounts are separate. As far as the deposits go, we have both been paying. If I wind up paying more then him I don't mind. He already spent $$$$ on the ring, so to me it doesn't matter. Once we are married , we will have one checking account, and separate savings.

SweetCin704 Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

Right now he has direct deposit into my checking account and I handle/pay all the bills from my salary. His entire check goes into our wedding/hm account. He takes $ he needs for the week w/ his ATM card.

MattsBride Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

We have separate savings and checking accounts for our own bills (we don't live together), but we have a joint savings account for our engagement gifts. He has an account just for our honeymoon (he wants to pay for that). When we are married we will have all joint accounts.

LuvMyFH Posted:

Re: How are you guys handling finances now that you're engaged?

We found a process that works for us.

I pay all the bills and put whatever I have left towards our joint account and he saves all his money.

His car payment is more than mine, I pay his school bills (tuition, books, etc) and gifts and all other bills. His car payment is way more then mine and I don't mind he makes more money then me and he works really hard and deserves his car. I on the other hand spend money on a monthly bases (yes, I am addicted).

It works for us because I would save a lot less if I just paid my bills because I would see more left over and spend more.

Every couple has a way that works for them as along as it works you are doing the right thing. You need to sit down and talk about it.



Reply to this topic

Log in to reply or quote a post.