How did the point get LOST on these boards!

Look, I don't think anyone is knocking girls that were lucky enough to have their parents or anyone else contribute to of pay for their wedding...

the point is NO ONE should be expected to do it or made to feel bad if they can't.

at least that is my point, but it's totally lost by all of the ridiculous stuff that comes out when a thread turns ugly.

we're all married or about to get married. let's put the claws away.

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Posted by JessicaM.

Look, I don't think anyone is knocking girls that were lucky enough to have their parents or anyone else contribute to of pay for their wedding...

the point is NO ONE should be expected to do it or made to feel bad if they can't.

at least that is my point, but it's totally lost by all of the ridiculous stuff that comes out when a thread turns ugly.

we're all married or about to get married. let's but the claws away.

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I agree - but when brides parents are footing the bill Grooms parents can offer to contribute... When you know they have it- if they dont or your not sure i dont think ppl should ask them for a hand out.

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Posted by JessicaM.

Look, I don't think anyone is knocking girls that were lucky enough to have their parents or anyone else contribute to of pay for their wedding...

the point is NO ONE should be expected to do it or made to feel bad if they can't.

at least that is my point, but it's totally lost by all of the ridiculous stuff that comes out when a thread turns ugly.

we're all married or about to get married. let's put the claws away.

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I was upset about how Sarah got treated today- not that having your wedding paid for was being knocked-

We are just usually nicer then that- it was just a change to see people turn instead of the nice normal PC stuff

As someone that went through a fair share of family drama when planning my wedding, I can honestly say that it's easy to lose sight of the big picture. Stress and fighting words definately come out when you are planning a wedding where you are inviting 500 people! (no, I'm not knocking the small weddings either)

At the end of the day, it's not important as to who paid for what or who didn't offer to help. What's important is that your family is there to witness the joining of you and your FH and share in the love that you have between you.

I can't tell you how many times I looked around on my wedding day and thought to myself, how incredible it was that all these people are in the one place, at the same time on this day because of the love that DH and I share. Knowing it was our love that brought everyone there, was truely humbling.

My point is don't get so entirely wrapped up in wedding planning to lose sight of the bigger (and better) picture. I wish someone had given me that advice as I planned my wedding.

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Posted by Beth1210

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Posted by JessicaM.

Look, I don't think anyone is knocking girls that were lucky enough to have their parents or anyone else contribute to of pay for their wedding...

the point is NO ONE should be expected to do it or made to feel bad if they can't.

at least that is my point, but it's totally lost by all of the ridiculous stuff that comes out when a thread turns ugly.

we're all married or about to get married. let's put the claws away.

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I was upset about how Sarah got treated today- not that having your wedding paid for was being knocked-

We are just usually nicer then that- it was just a change to see people turn instead of the nice normal PC stuff

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I hear you, but she's not doing herself any favors right now.....it's just really ugly all around.

Sorry, but if I'm being a Bridezilla about something, I expect someone to tell me. I'm a big girl, I can handle being put in my place. I don't need 4 pages of a thread to keep going back and forth on it either.

We have a lot of girls on this site, with lots of opinions, and I don't view that as a bad thing. Some just are more verbal than others. Just my .02.

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Posted by FallBride05

As someone that went through a fair share of family drama when planning my wedding, I can honestly say that it's easy to lose sight of the big picture. Stress and fighting words definately come out when you are planning a wedding where you are inviting 500 people! (no, I'm not knocking the small weddings either)

At the end of the day, it's not important as to who paid for what or who didn't offer to help. What's important is that your family is there to witness the joining of you and your FH and share in the love that you have between you.

I can't tell you how many times I looked around on my wedding day and thought to myself, how incredible it was that all these people are in the one place, at the same time on this day because of the love that DH and I share. Knowing it was our love that brought everyone there, was truely humbling.

My point is don't get so entirely wrapped up in wedding planning to lose sight of the bigger (and better) picture. I wish someone had given me that advice as I planned my wedding.

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I for one Isnt stressed.. I've been engaged for 2 yrs. booked everything spread out so there was no drama with money or planning- I think thats the best thing!

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Posted by JPCP4806

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Posted by JessicaM.

Look, I don't think anyone is knocking girls that were lucky enough to have their parents or anyone else contribute to of pay for their wedding...

the point is NO ONE should be expected to do it or made to feel bad if they can't.

at least that is my point, but it's totally lost by all of the ridiculous stuff that comes out when a thread turns ugly.

we're all married or about to get married. let's but the claws away.

---

I agree - but when brides parents are footing the bill Grooms parents can offer to contribute... When you know they have it- if they dont or your not sure i dont think ppl should ask them for a hand out.

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See I have a problem with 'When you know they have it' - how do you know that they have it? What if they're in debt? What if they 'appear' to have it and don't? Why should anything be expected of anyone?

I feel that Sarah is very blessed...God has been good to her and although she isn't getting what she feels she should from her FMIL, she should at least be thankful for the little help she is getting. Not to mention her amazing parents who have sacrificed so much.

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

Sorry, but if I'm being a Bridezilla about something, I expect someone to tell me. I'm a big girl, I can handle being put in my place. I don't need 4 pages of a thread to keep going back and forth on it either.

We have a lot of girls on this site, with lots of opinions, and I don't view that as a bad thing. Some just are more verbal than others. Just my .02.

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Jenn you know I have no problem with people being honest and expressing opinions. but when you see the tiger isn't loosing his stripes...

oh whatever man...we're are too close now for this crap....78 days!

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Posted by JPCP4806

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Posted by FallBride05

As someone that went through a fair share of family drama when planning my wedding, I can honestly say that it's easy to lose sight of the big picture. Stress and fighting words definately come out when you are planning a wedding where you are inviting 500 people! (no, I'm not knocking the small weddings either)

At the end of the day, it's not important as to who paid for what or who didn't offer to help. What's important is that your family is there to witness the joining of you and your FH and share in the love that you have between you.

I can't tell you how many times I looked around on my wedding day and thought to myself, how incredible it was that all these people are in the one place, at the same time on this day because of the love that DH and I share. Knowing it was our love that brought everyone there, was truely humbling.

My point is don't get so entirely wrapped up in wedding planning to lose sight of the bigger (and better) picture. I wish someone had given me that advice as I planned my wedding.

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I for one Isnt stressed.. I've been engaged for 2 yrs. booked everything spread out so there was no drama with money or planning- I think thats the best thing!

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perhaps there is something to a long engagement.

DH and I are 'older' and didn't want to wait 2 years to get married. We got engaged in Feb of last year and married 9 months later. Was it stressful? Hell ya! Especially since we bought a house, closed and moved at the busiest wedding planning time.

My point was just to not lose sight of the bigger picture, it doesn't matter who is paying for what. We had no expectations when we got engaged other than it would be OUR wedding and we fully expected to pay for it.

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

Sorry, but if I'm being a Bridezilla about something, I expect someone to tell me. I'm a big girl, I can handle being put in my place. I don't need 4 pages of a thread to keep going back and forth on it either.

We have a lot of girls on this site, with lots of opinions, and I don't view that as a bad thing. Some just are more verbal than others. Just my .02.

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Jenn you know I have no problem with people being honest and expressing opinions. but when you see the tiger isn't loosing his stripes...

oh whatever man...we're are too close now for this crap....78 days!

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I know, hun.

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by JPCP4806

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Posted by JessicaM.

Look, I don't think anyone is knocking girls that were lucky enough to have their parents or anyone else contribute to of pay for their wedding...

the point is NO ONE should be expected to do it or made to feel bad if they can't.

at least that is my point, but it's totally lost by all of the ridiculous stuff that comes out when a thread turns ugly.

we're all married or about to get married. let's but the claws away.

---

I agree - but when brides parents are footing the bill Grooms parents can offer to contribute... When you know they have it- if they dont or your not sure i dont think ppl should ask them for a hand out.

---

See I have a problem with 'When you know they have it' - how do you know that they have it? What if they're in debt? What if they 'appear' to have it and don't? Why should anything be expected of anyone?

I feel that Sarah is very blessed...God has been good to her and although she isn't getting what she feels she should from her FMIL, she should at least be thankful for the little help she is getting. Not to mention her amazing parents who have sacrificed so much.

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I know they have it. thats all.

ditto! ditto! ditto Jessica!

I really hate when LIW starts looking like some of the boards on the Knot. People fighting and insulting one another. This is ridiculous.

in this day in age, nobody is suppose to do anything.

i don't know DW parents (never meet them, and probally never will) . My parents (dad) gave us 50% of reception to Giriogio's. Does DW feel like her family didn't contribute........NO
Do i feel like her family owes me something......NO

You ladies need to relax (whom ever is cause drama) as you not expected to get anything. Prehaps some familes are old fashsioned but in today's world, you see that less, less and less.

We (DW and I) paid 75% of a $40,000 wedding ourselves... you work to save money to have our dream wedding.

boy imagine you girls getting upset about whose paying, just wait to you get to the end on the non-gifters......

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Posted by CJStein

ditto! ditto! ditto Jessica!

I really hate when LIW starts looking like some of the boards on the Knot. People fighting and insulting one another. This is ridiculous.

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Why can everyone just be happy?? arent we all marrying the man we love?!?! Why does things turn to money...

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Posted by JPCP4806

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Posted by CJStein

ditto! ditto! ditto Jessica!

I really hate when LIW starts looking like some of the boards on the Knot. People fighting and insulting one another. This is ridiculous.

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Why can everyone just be happy?? arent we all marrying the man we love?!?! Why does things turn to money...

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This was my point exactly in my very long winded post!

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Posted by FallBride05

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Posted by JPCP4806

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Posted by CJStein

ditto! ditto! ditto Jessica!

I really hate when LIW starts looking like some of the boards on the Knot. People fighting and insulting one another. This is ridiculous.

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Why can everyone just be happy?? arent we all marrying the man we love?!?! Why does things turn to money...

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This was my point exactly in my very long winded post!

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Thank you. Listen- we all have great families who will be there ( for the most part) on our big day- all of us have great reception halls- and dresses- thats all

I do not think the point is lost....at least it is not lost on me

I think 90% of the couples that have used these boards since I have been registered at least, have paid for their own wedding (if not 100% at least 50%). I think that couples who have their parents paying (or even contributing) are grateful for any amount of contribution.

We have not asked for help, nor will we ask for help although I know that my father could write a check to cover the entire budget we set. That is HIS money and although I am his only child, I am not entitled to HIS money.

I cannot even imagine asking my dad to pay for our party after he put me through college and helped me pay for grad school. If he offered, we would probably accept though

I think we all know that it is absolutely NOT expected that anyone should pay for our weddings except us. And the benefit to that is we make all the decisions and do not have to consult anyone