how do I get out of this...

nferrandi Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:30 PM

how do I get out of this...

I went out Friday night for the bach-party of a friend of mine from high school. There wound up being an altercation between her SIL and one of her BM. She and this BM are no longer friends, so the BM isn't in the wedding, which is next month. So my friend asked if I would be in her BP. I don't feel right about it, especially since I think that she's trying to pass off the BM dress on me. She of course said I wouldn't have to pay for anything and I didn't know how to say 'no.' The fact of the matter is, I'm just not comfortable with the idea. She and I were very close growing up, but we haven't been in recent years. What should I do?

july06bride Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:32 PM

Re: how do I get out of this...

yikes, this is a tough situation,

but, if you really dont want to do it maybe you can talk to her and tell her that youve been thinking about it more and you dont think you are going to be able to do it....can you blame it on time? distance?

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:32 PM

Re: how do I get out of this...

tell her that you're very sorry, but you can't afford it.

IMO - the nerve of her!

cjb88 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:34 PM

Re: how do I get out of this...

try sending an email... maybe it will be easier to explain that way???

randella Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:48 PM

Re: how do I get out of this...

I think you need to just be honest with her-- I mean-- if it was me-- and I knew I would not have to buy the dress and make more of a financial commitment than going to a wedding is regularly-- I would just do it..

Having to fire a BM at the last minute is not fun for anyone-- I see why you are uncomfortable with the sitch though-- I say- be honest with her and tell her you are flattered- but just don't feel right about it.. or... just suck it up and stand up for her.

You need to be true to yourself..

nferrandi Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:56 PM

Re: how do I get out of this...

I wish I could send her an email, but I don't even have her email address. I know it's going to be an akward conversation, but I just don't think I can be a part of her BP. DH is so upset because he's not going to know anyone and he's going to be stuck by himself if I'm in the BP.

meredith24 Posted: Mar 28, 2005 05:59 PM

Re: how do I get out of this...

i had 4 girls that i asked turn me down. You just have to come right out and say it. In the long run, as the bride, its better to have people that want to be a part of it standing next to you rather than people pretending that they want to.