Ok ladies, is it just me or does anyone else feel the same?
I address my MIL as Mrs. X when I was dating DH. Now that we are married, she asked me to address her as 'Mom' or 'FirstName'
Does anyone have problems adjusting? Do you address MIL differently after your marriage?
drpepper318
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Re: How Do You Address Your MIL?
She used to insist on being called Mrs. X and her husband Dr. X (even after I'd known them for several years, this is still how they'd refer to each other in conversation).. then after we got engaged, one day she said to me 'now you can call me whatever you want'... which didn't help at all because she still never told me what they want to be called, and nothing ever feels comfortable to me (first name, last name, Mom, all feel weird)... so I just avoid addressing her at all. I just look at her and start talking! In emails, I just write 'Hi!...' I don't think I'll ever call her or her husband by name, oh well! Thats why when my future children have a bf or gf, I'll ask them to call me by my first name right off the bat to avoid confusion later on.
Angiebeeen
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She wants me to call her mom its still alittle weird but i sometimes call her by her first name..
ewickens
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B4 the wedding, it was always Mrs. S.
After the wedding - she caught me at the wedding and said that I needed to start calling her Mom. I was thrown off by it at first, timing and all, but I'll call her it periodically at the house, but it still feels funny.
laural2979
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I voted for 'Hey Woman' because I just try not to use her name at all. All through dating I called her Mrs. X, but I've noticed that she just recently starting signing all of her cards to me from Barbara. Since she hasn't come right out and asked me to call her by her first name, I just feel kind of uncomfortable about it.
TheFutureMrsM
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i always called her by her first name when we were dating same for his dad as well...i never hesistate to call her by her name, I can not wait to call them mom and dad...i see how she calls Fh's dads parents mom and dad and i love it, fh's father calls her mother, mom also...i duno why, but i can not wait to call them mom and dad!!!!
giggles62
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I am glad to see I am not the only one with this problem. I dont call them anything. I have waited for them to look at me then I needed to say something. If I really had to get there attention I would say Mr. & Mrs when we were dating. Now that were engaged for the past 5 months I have not called them anything and I dont know what to call them. They never said what they wanted to be called either. If I call the house I usually just say hi it's Fran.
FH will not call my parents mom or dad he calls them by their first names now that were engaged. I think I can call them mom and dad but I still have not said it so maybe I cant. I dont know what to call them!!!
OrangeGrl
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I am voting Hey Woman because I don't call her anything. When I refer to her I say 'Your Mom' 'Your wife' or 'Your grandma' FH does the same for my parents too. I have no idea what they want to be called because for xmas the card will be signed Love Rose and Paul and for my birthday it will by Love Mr & Mrs S------...so BLAH I call her NOTHING!
Trishthedish
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I call my FMIL by her first name, Barbara and his dad's first name, Bob. She never really specified what she wanted to be called and I am 32 years old and would feel weird calling him/her Mr. or Mrs.
FH calls my father Sonny. His real name is Salvatore but his nickname was Sonny growing up. I think my mom will want him to call her mom though. She is old school with that stuff.
Unapearla
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I called her Mrs X the entire time we've dated. Now that we're engaged I don't call her anything. Not sure what to call her.
ant n tilde
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Posted by pupidda122505
Both FH and me call our respective moms 'Signora' which basically means Mrs. in italian. Our familes are really old school so we don't feel comfortable calling our FMIL's by their first name. Once we're married we're gonna ask them is they're comfortable with us calling them mamma.
yet another reason i wish that FH's family was as italian as mine - Signora would be so much easier!!! And there is no real English word for it - yeah Mrs. . . or Ma'am but I cant go around calling her Ma'am!
so i basically just wait for her to look at me - one time FH's niece was about to fall and i screamed out 'MOM! THE BABY!' and she was so happy she cried - didnt want to break it to her that even if FH or ANYONE had been standing there I probably would have still yelled out MOM!! oh well - i dont think i can call anyone mom but my mom so idk what i am going to do!
jessie32783
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I'm so happy that it seems to be a widespread problem!
I knew my future MIL before I met my FH and I used to call her by her first name. But after I started dating my FH and everything happened with her (and believe me it's been BAD....very very monster-in-law) I didn't how to address her, so I stuck with the 'your mother' or nothing.
What makes it a bit harder is that my FH calls both my parents mom and dad. But I do call his father and step mom, mom and dad
Do you mean behind her back or to her face?! To her face I call her by her first name, always have...she insisted! I sometimes call her FMIL, that cracks her up My FH called my mom Ms. X but since we got engaged he doesn't know what to call her so he kinda just taps her shoulder to get her attention
MnM52607
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Posted by Tatum&Steve
YES! SAME HERE, in my WEDDING ETIQUITE BOOK it said that if you are not comfortable saying 'mom' after she asks you, you should TELL HER THAT YOU are not comfy, call her by her first name or whatever you prefer because if not, you will find yourself in 10 years not saying ANYTHING - which is my case. I just kind of talk to her but never address her!
I am in the same situation. But I think when I speak to her, I will probably call her by her first name. But if we send her cards and stuff, I will address it to Mom.
LandsEnd06
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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Mamma Rella
FH does that for my mom....He calls her Mom Swan!
JenMike331
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Mammy D
jgl
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Posted by dgirl
I used to just wait for her to look at me
Then after about 3 years of dating I called her Mrs. xxx and she was really shocked. Since then I call her by her first name, but only when absolutely necessary.
Ok FH has this problem.. he doesn't call my parents anything. My parents love him and think he is wonderufl but my Mom and dad think it is rude that he doesn't use their names. I can't get him to do it. So I don't think he will ever say mom and dad haha. I think he does it because he has step parents and it was never really addressed with him as far as what to call them and he didnt want to say mom and dad.
in my case I have always called FMIL by her name. I don't think she would care if I said mom or her name and she isn't the type to get mad if I didnt call her mom.
DanNette
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I called her Mrs. ------ the first time I met her. From then on she insisted I use her first name.
jgl
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Posted by MissMaster13
I am voting Hey Woman because I don't call her anything. When I refer to her I say 'Your Mom' 'Your wife' or 'Your grandma' FH does the same for my parents too. I have no idea what they want to be called because for xmas the card will be signed Love Rose and Paul and for my birthday it will by Love Mr & Mrs S------...so BLAH I call her NOTHING!
What if you asked your mom what she would like FH to call her and have FH ask his mom what she would like you to call her..
