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How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Bridex100 Posted:

How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

FH and I just bought a house, are paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves, are paying for our honeymoon to Tahiti/Bora Bora, AND I need to buy a car since I've been living in Manhattan. We would really prefer cash gifts to help alleviate some of the financial burden.

We sent out invitations and guests are already asking where we are registered.

What's the best response to say we prefer cash?

'We are not registered anywhere.'
'We prefer cash to help pay for our new house.'
'Cash would be appreciated.'

Suggestions???
missalissa Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

We are in the same boat...my mom on the bridal shower invites just said Bride and Groom prefer cash or gift cards...haha she didnt care if it was tacky...obviously anyone who you care about enough to invite to your wedding will understand you need the cash, i say just be blunt, go for it! No one is gonna think badly of ya ;)

FutureMrs.T Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

I would just indicate that you are not registered anywhere. It is kind of tacky to straight out ask your guests for cash. JMO

soon2bmrsdunn Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Posted by kzecha

I would just indicate that you are not registered anywhere. It is kind of tacky to straight out ask your guests for cash. JMO
I agree
july06bride Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

are you thinking for the bridal shower or the wedding? Most guests will buy a registry gift for the shower and give money for the wedding- that's how it tends to work on LI ...ALSO< if you register at BB&B ...you can return the items to get cash back- so maybe you can have a small registry for the shower- any duplicates or things you decide you don't want/need can be returned and you will get the $$

I have to be honest, I got a wedding invite that had an insert that said that the bride and groom wanted money rather than boxed gifts- this was almost two years ago and people still talk about it and I was tempted to bring a gift to the wedding rather than $$$, but DH wouldn't let me
ali120206 Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Posted by kzecha

I would just indicate that you are not registered anywhere. It is kind of tacky to straight out ask your guests for cash. JMO


Yes, when they ask, tell them you aren't registered anywhere. It's not appropriate to say I only want cash. Some people prefer to give actual gifts at weddings, we received a lot of nice things that we didn't register for from stores we didn't register at (and we had a registry).
MrsQ-in2007 Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Posted by soon2bmrsdunn

Posted by kzecha

I would just indicate that you are not registered anywhere. It is kind of tacky to straight out ask your guests for cash. JMO
I agree


I also agree. I would let your BM's (not mom) let people know GENTLY that you guys really have everything you need in terms of physical gifts.

As a side note, some people feel uncomfortable giving cash gifts and will buy you something anyway. I would set up a registry so that people have the option (if you're going to get a gift, why not let it be something you ACTUALLY want).

You could always register at BBB - they let you return registry gifts for cash.
HTH
donegal419 Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Honestly, i don't think you can. . . IMO, it's rude. trust me, DH and I were in the same situation but I don't think it's polite to dictate what you want to receive.

However, on LI people tend to give cash as gifts anyway. We received just about everything from our registry at my shower. the only people that did not give cash at our wedding were some out of state guests who typically give presents over cash. 95% of our guests gave us cash.

laural2979 Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?


You don't. It's just plain tacky to tell people that you would like to receive cash. Try setting up a honeymoon registry.
Bridex100 Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Posted by july06bride

are you thinking for the bridal shower or the wedding? Most guests will buy a registry gift for the shower and give money for the wedding- that's how it tends to work on LI ...ALSO< if you register at BB&B ...you can return the items to get cash back- so maybe you can have a small registry for the shower- any duplicates or things you decide you don't want/need can be returned and you will get the $$

I have to be honest, I got a wedding invite that had an insert that said that the bride and groom wanted money rather than boxed gifts- this was almost two years ago and people still talk about it and I was tempted to bring a gift to the wedding rather than $$$, but DH wouldn't let me


OMG! They had an insert that requested money?!??!?!? That is horrible!!!

I always give physical gifts at showers and cash at weddings.
Pencils Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

You don't. It's incredibly tacky. Sorry, but it is. If you're not registered anywhere, say, 'we're not registered.' They'll get the idea. Or suggest they talk to your mom or whomever, who can fill them in on the need for money.

GinaZ Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Here is the thing- some people will want to give you a gift anyway. So register at Bed abth and beyond and then either keep the gifts if it is something you want or need, or return them. BBB is the only place I know of that gives cash back on returns from the registry. You can't say to someone 'we want money.' Your BMs and your Mother can if they are asked. But you can't. And even if people know you want money- they still may want to buy you a gift i addition to money, so it is best to have a registry.

I hope this helps!!
thelastresort Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Posted by donegal419

Honestly, i don't think you can. . . IMO, it's rude. trust me, DH and I were in the same situation but I don't think it's polite to dictate what you want to receive.



I totally agree. It's very tacky.

In all honesty, the only time I've seen actual gifts given at weddings have not been on LI. I don't know anyone that gives non-monetary gifts at weddings. I would not say anything. The last thing you need is people talking smack about you behind your back right before they have to write out your check!
Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?


Honestly, you don't. It's rude to indicate that you'd prefer some type of gift over another.

If you're actually not registered, then just say you are not registered. If you ARE registered, tell them where.

As much as we'd all love to have tons of money given to us on our wedding days, we're by no means entitled to it. If someone wants to give a gifts instead of money, they will regardless of whether you're registered.

Telling people you want money instead is tacky. You'll likely get plenty of cash and gifts, too. Just be grateful people are generous.
jgl Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

i know we all want cash but there are other issues here..

if this was an eparty that you are talking about then i could understand. we did not register for our eparty and 95% of our guests gave us money. we just said we didnt register because our wedding was not for another year and 9 months.

You also have to think that when it comes time for your shower you are going to get a lot of things you dont want and you wont know where they were bought to exchange. HONESTLY, most people are NOTgoing to give you money for your shower, its just not something people do. they will go to the store and pick out something they think you need

I dont know anyone who goes to a wedding (in NY) and doesnt give money. I could be wrong, but that is my personal experience. I dont think you have to worry about getting gifts for the wedding.

Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Good point about the shower. Are you having one?

If so, register for at least a few things. People will NOT give you cash at your shower -- so you might as well pick out things you like. You might get a few gift cards, but most people will take it upon themselves to pick out something they think you need / want. You'll possibly wind up with lots of duplicates -- if not tons of generic gifts (decorative bowls, platters, picture frames, and vases...) Might as well pick out what you want.
Marly Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

Posted by laural2979

How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?


You don't. It's just plain tacky to tell people that you would like to receive cash. Try setting up a honeymoon registry.



I agree 100%
Bridex100 Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

I did register for inexpensive items for my bridal shower (

milana Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

We have been living together for three years already and I don't need any kitchen appliances, dishes, towels, etc. If I need new bedding or towels ill just buy it myself.

We are registered at Macys only in courtesy to those that absolutely must buy us something or feel more comfortable buying a gift. however I limited it to one store and When people ask me where I'm registered I just say I didn't register, and they get the idea, there's no need to insert that in any invitations people figure it out.
Bridex100 Posted:

Re: How do you communicate that you prefer cash wedding gifts?

I have been living on my own since I went to college. FH has his own place as do I. We are the type of people who just buy whatever we need/want at the time.

It was rather difficult for me to even register for the bridal shower.

I am getting pressure from my bridal party to add more. I can't think of anything else that we need!

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