I just got my first no from someone I was 100% expecting to come.
I mean, obviously I'm not going to call them up and be like, 'WHY DID YOU SAY NO'? but at the same time, will it affect our relationship?
I can't help but feel mad at this person, and I expect more to come, I mena it seems like that happens to everyone.
This is a local person who wouldn't have trouble giving a gift, so I know it's not the economy or anything...
It's also kind of annoying because I've gone to all of their events with generous gifts, so it's kind of like what's the deal?
Have 'nos' changed your relationships with anyone? Do no people usually give an excuse? this person didn't.
tia
thenewmrsharrington
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
some people explain, some don't. it's heartbreaking when someone you 100% thought would be there says no, but it happens to pretty much everyone, if that makes you feel any better.
Cacarina
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
Sorry, but maybe this person has another event/trip already planned. You can't expect everyone to come.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
I've not went to a wedding I was invited too. An old friend from hs invited me which I didn't expect in the first place. It was in the middle of the summer and I had to go away I believe. Even if it was someone I'm closer with that couldn't come to mine I wouldn't be offended.
candybride123
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
Yeah, I definitely understand. I know that people are going to say no but it just seems so weird sometimes. I guess it's more about someone you really expect not offering an excuse/explanation. I mean, I don't think they owe me any excuse but I would have given one just out of politeness. If it was some random person I wouldn't even think twice. And yes haha MOB and FMIL invited quite a few randoms...
lauraandrob2009
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
That stinks...is there another event maybe or are they having issues where they wouldn't want to be at an event like a wedding?
dmb922
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
I have a very good friend whom I have attended many of her events/functions that has already said she won't be coming to mine-- with no excuse-- just a NO. At first I was upset and then I sat back and remembered that we are loved by many people and we will enjoy every moment of our wedding with the ones that want to be there with us!! Don't get too upset or take it personal.
dazey
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
I understand how you feel. I got some No's i was surprised about. If there was an explanation or a sorry, than fine I had no problem with it. But just a NO and no contact, I have definitely gotten upset about and unfortunately I think it is going to effect some relationships.
MrsLarrea2B
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
I never bothered to call the people that said No. and honestly I wont even bother to contact them ever again. If they didnt feel it was necessary to at least 'aplogize' or give me a reason ~ then I dont think its necessary for me to keep ties w. them. Sorry to sound harsh , but I have way too many friends in my life and I dont need to be bothered w. people who don't care about me....unless they send a gift, then all is forgiven
candybride123
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
Posted by MrsLarrea2B
I never bothered to call the people that said No. and honestly I wont even bother to contact them ever again. If they didnt feel it was necessary to at least 'aplogize' or give me a reason ~ then I dont think its necessary for me to keep ties w. them. Sorry to sound harsh , but I have way too many friends in my life and I dont need to be bothered w. people who don't care about me....unless they send a gift, then all is forgiven
christine2010
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
i am dreading the day i may receive a 'No'. the people we are inviting we really want to be there. especially since we are having a small wedding (110 people) anyone that says no will really hurt, especially if they don't even let me know why.
jaep129
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
We were really surprised at some of the No's. It did not change our relationship but it did show how they saw us. Some of my 'Friends' didn't come b/c of other arrangements. It hurt b/c it was a bachelorette party and an engagement party. This is a wedding. So IMO you cant let No's get you down. You have to think of all the people who will be there not the ones who will not.
Annoulak
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
Humans are unpredictable
Guests who RSVP 'no' are not required to give a reason nor a gift (although some do give a gift later). And, unfortunately, just because you've gone to their events and given generous gifts doesn't mean they are required to do the same.
You should at least be happy they had the courtesy to RSVP!!!!
I had a guest who invited himself to our wedding, attended, left the reception without saying goodbye and didn't even give a gift.
So, don't feel so bad, and don't take their response personally.
Aug07OFCbride
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
they may just have something else already planned for that date and know they can't make it. some people explain, some don't. if this is someone youre very close with or see them fairly often (from your reaction, it seems like this may be the case?) then there is more of a chance they will mention to you why they cant make it. of course its polite to do so, and hopefully they will, but no one owes an explanation.
personally speaking, 'NOs' didn't change any of my relationships at all. definitely expect NOs. Not everyone will be available your date, for a variety of reasons.
kirstenjk
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
All I can say is that I was very hurt by some of the people who rsvp'ed 'no'. The excuses written on the RSVP cards were weak to say the least. In some cases it has negatively effected the relationship in other I just let it go.
I did not call anyone to ask why they weren't coming - it wasn't important to me to know why. Their loss, they missed out on what was a great party!!
sophisticat13
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
I understand how you feel. Some ppl who I really wanted to come to ours RSVPed no and I was so disappointed. There are so many reasons that ppl don't come though...this happens to a lot of brides. I dealt with a lot of disappointment and really learned who my real friends were during the process....(not just from RSVPs). Depending on the reason and if you allow it (if you are really hurt) it can definitely affect your relationship with the person...it really depends on how you feel.
VickiR510
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
We had a cousin & his wife we thought would definitely be there they rsvp no because they had a trip paid for already. Even though i sent out STD's 10 months before. I guess it happens!
BCM2009
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
ha - i'm actually hoping for a good amount of no's b/c our guest list has gotten way too big!!
Nina1010
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
No's should be expected...for various reasons. I haven't been through it yet, but I do expect to since almost all of my friends have. I may just let it go, but it depends.
Unfortunately, you will see different sides to people with your wedding planning. I think what strikes me the most is the poor excuse a person gives...especially when its an out right lie. I think that is the reason most relationships are destroyed. Not so much for the NO, but how they handle it...the lack of respect of your relationship that does it. It is their loss though...
mf2009
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Re: How do you deal w/ RSVP 'NOs'?
Posted by BCM2009
ha - i'm actually hoping for a good amount of no's b/c our guest list has gotten way too big!!
