I know this sounds awful (and awfully stupid of me) but I have a friend coming in from Florida to come to my wedding who just had a baby about 6 months ago. I was so happy that she was coming....that I told her that she can bring the baby to my wedding and even worse, that she could use my bridal suite to breast-feed the baby !!!!!!!!Now that I am getting closer I am thinking, why did i do that?!!! I was so happy for her when she had the baby (she had trouble conceiving and went through a lot) and I have nothing against babies and even want my own but...I just don't think a wedding is a good place to bring one!!! What do you do if the baby cries during your ceremony or the cake-cutting, etc??? So here is my question...how do I go about asking her to NOT bring the baby??? CAN I even ask her to not bring the baby???? What do I do? P.S. I know this sounds terrible, maybe I am a contender for Bridezilla, but I am really kicking myself right now!!! Please help....you ladies have been terrific and I could never have planned my wedding without you!! Thank you!!!!
JodyLC
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
Unfortunately since you already told her it was ok AND offered the Bridal Suite for her privacy... You can't, unless she is really understanding and you explain your concerns to her about the crying and she 'offers' to not bring the baby. Plus does she know anyone who can watch the baby in the area? One good thing is videography can be edited to take out noise if need be. Sorry if this is a bit harsh its JMO
Edited for my typos.
rafiki
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
My hubby's friend and his wife brought their 3 month old baby to my wedding, both the ceremony and reception. The baby was not invited and they never mentioned they were bringing her. Our wedding was a Saturday night affair.
Honestly, I didn't even know the baby was there. She was so quiet. Also, I was so busy and overwhelmed with the events of the day and seeing many different people that a little babies' presence did not affect me at all. The couple would not have been able to attend without her.
In addition, my one year old nephew was my ring bearer. A few minutes into the ceremony he began making noises (patting his hand over his mouth while humming to make a funny noise). I could hear him while I was standing at the alter and all I could do was laugh. It was very cute and I didn't mind, but my brother in law quickly removed him from the ceremony room. I think most responsible adults will remove a child from a situation such as a wedding ceremony if they are not quiet.
Realize that your friend may not be able to attend without the baby. What's more important to you? Having her miss the wedding or allowing the baby to attend? Just my two cents!!
2007 Crescent Bride
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
I think it's pretty hard to go back once you invited the baby. JMO
davenjess
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
there is no way you will be able to uninvite the baby without losing mom & possibly runining your friendship with the mom.
you cannot ask a woman who had a baby so recently to leave her baby at home - ESPECIALLY when they are coming from Florida!
Sorry -
anneandchris
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
I have to agree -- you can't unvite the baby now. However if you are really concerned about this, and your friend has no one to leave the baby with is there someone you know that maybe able to watch the baby and offer the services to her?
If you do go this route keep these things in mind: 1. Offer it as a way for your friend to relax for the night and enjoy herself -- not because you don't want the baby there 2. You will need to pay for the sitter 3. You will need to find a place where your friend is comfortable leaving the baby -- your house, your parents or siblings house
bluegreen08
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
tell her that her baby is welcome to come, but not during the ceremony bc you dont want the baby to cry -- the baby can stay in the bridal suite with a sitter (who you should probably provide).
yswedding
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
I offer to hire a babysitter to take care of baby in another room, while ceremony is going on.
I'm having babies, toldlers and really really loud annoying adults at my wedding, I don't care if there is a little chaos.
Maria31
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
This is JMO but you can't just uninvite someones baby, especially after you came out and told her that she could bring him/her. I just don't understand why this would be a major issue, you probably won't even realize that the baby is there! I'm sure the mother will use her discretion and if the baby cries, she will leave the room or something. Maybe just have a talk with her and ask her to just be aware of the cries and if the baby is irritable, tell her to leave the room or have someone else walk the baby out.
JulyBride728
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
I personally wouldn't mention anything to her. Take it as a lesson learnt and just deal with it. There are LOTS of other issues that could arise during your wedding that's far greater than this, don't let this stress you out. Although I don't think it's fair that you tell her that her baby is uninvited, I think that during the ceremony, you should have your day of coordinator (or assign someone else if you dont have a DOC) to have all parents sitting with young children to sit at the very end of the rows. Have the person tell the parents that the bride and groom has requested for parents with babies to sit on the end rows, this way if the baby starts to cry, it is easy for them to quickly get up with the baby and walk away, not causing an interruption in the video or vows. HTH
lillprincess54
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
i dont think can uninvite, we had my cosin big his child to the cermony but not the recpetion and when he started to cry, my cousin just carried him out of the room,
soontoobemrsk
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
You really cant uninvite the baby at this point. But maybe call up your friend and say something to the effect of 'I know it can be difficult to dance, relax and enjoy yourself while taking care of the baby, so, if you would like, I will arrange for and pay for a babysitter to watch the baby in the bridal suite.' I know some people who actually had a baby sitter for all the children under the age of, say, 4. I'm thinking that this is the route I'm going to take (except for the flower girls and ring bearers, who will obviously be in the wedding).
qdp86
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
That is a hard one!! Something kinda similar happend to me. My friend invited her 5 year yr old in front of me and we were planning on not inivting children. She said OH honey are you excited to go to there wedding in July. She said that to her daughter in front of me. The little girl was jumping up and down and I just stood there and could not say that we were not inviting children. So, now she thinks it is ok. I am thinking of jsut sending the invites adressing it to just her and her husband and hoping she gets the point but I dont know. She is the kind of friend that might be offended now. But, in your situation, cuz you already mentioned the bridal suite you might be stuck. Unless you just send the invites to her and her husband and later say you decided no children?? Just a thought.
MD835
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
That's a tough one - I don't think you can uninvite, unfortunately. There's just no nice way of saying what you want to say, I don't think. Even if you told her you want her and hubby to enjoy their time here in NY without having to take care of the baby, it might still come across as not wanting to have the baby at all.
Goodluck!
jessica08bride
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
in my opinion i dont thik having the baby there is a big deal. they dont require a seat and they jsut sit in the carriage for most of the day. we had a 4 month old baby at my friends wedding (she will also be coming to mine) and she was so good and was so quiet bc there were so many things going on to look at. i could understand if the baby wasnt invited in the first place, but since you did, i dont think you can dis-invite. but i woudlnt worry about it....you'lll have a beautiful wedding and no baby will change that!
eoconnell09
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
what you can do is keep her at a table that is far away from the stage. That way, the sound wil be decreased during the cake cutting ceremony. I am having lots of kids at my wedding. I love them and don't mind the chaos that they create....most often it is what makes your wedding so memorable!
Good luck whatever you choose!
PegaLega
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
YOu cant really uninvite the baby without running into hurt feelings, its going to happen.
Just and FYI you wont really use the Bridal Suite that often, you will store your things in it and be in it for a short amount of time. I dont know how your day is running but I think I spent a total of 20 minutes in mine.
As for the baby crying during the ceremony ask her to sit towards the back and if the baby starts to cry then to please walk out. If the baby cries during cake cutting who cares? You are having music played during your cake cutting right? If so then you wont hear the baby and on your video they overlay the music so you definitely wont hear the baby.
jaep129
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
JMO you cant uninvite the baby. You wont even know she is there. I would say to her just let me know when you need the bridal sweet b/c I will have to inform the bridal party to move all of their things out of the way and get all the alchol and party stuff out. That might make her feel bad having you have to do that! JMO Good luck!
mls282
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
Hi! I don't think its right to uninvite the baby now after you invited her and offered the bridal suite. My best friend had one of her bridesmaids with a baby. She used the suite to breast feed too. It was not a big deal at all. She used the bedroom area of the suite and there was still penty of space in the main room and bathroom. The baby was pretty quiet during the ceremony and all. Maybe if you are really concerned just discuss with her places on site at the ceremony or at the reception where she can bring the baby if she needs to change her, calm her down etc. But like was mentioned before a responsible adult/parent will swiftly remove their baby from a situation if she starts crying etc.
I wouldn't worry about it :)
Just relax, enjoy your day and be happy that your friend is traveling with baby to come see you on this special day
Cpt2007
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Re: How do you uninvite a baby? (sorry-a little long)
You can't uninvited the baby with out uninviting the mother. Sounds like she's probably purchased her tickets at this point too. You really aren't going to notice the baby. Truly, it will be the last thing on your mind. And give your friend some credit-- if her baby starts to fuss, she'll take care of it. It's not like she's going to let it wail.
My friend brought her 3mo with her to the wedding (she was in the BP) and her husband had both the baby and their 2y/o to take care of. It was fine. We allowed children at our wedding, had about a dozen of them, and they were great to have there, made is really fun.
