Problems in your FH's family, Do you get involved? Do they involve you? Do you try to mind your business?
jcslady
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Re: How does everyone deal with
Posted by Mizzdimple
Problems in your FH's family, Do you get involved? Do they involve you? Do you try to mind your business?
my fmil needs to be in a white coat my relationship with his family goes through him although tempting i try not to get involved
anneandchris
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Re: How does everyone deal with
It is all depends on the situation. If I feel my advise will be valuable to them I give it -- if not I stay clear of the confrontation and then let my FH hear my opinion later on.
dajc23
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Re: How does everyone deal with
Posted by Mizzdimple
Problems in your FH's family, Do you get involved? Do they involve you? Do you try to mind your business?
Ehh this is a tough one. I try to keep my mouth shut but they are always causing so many problems with FH that I cant help but to open my mouth. I usually just vent to him about it, he usually agrees with me, then of course some times he doesnt. Sometimes I can even talk to FMIL about it too...depends.
I tend to have a big mouth, so its hard for me to just sit back and watch these people in action lol
NapaValleyGirl
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Re: How does everyone deal with
I try to mind my own business. Because I may vent to FH about my family's problems but if he were to have an opinion or try to butt in, it may hurt my feelings. I only try and give very 'middle of the road' or 'objective' advice.
It really depends. If it deals directly with my FH, the gloves come off. Anyone else, I stay in the background unless I feel my 2-cents is needed.
Mizzdimple
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Re: How does everyone deal with
Ugh I feel like the entire family is blind and I just need to say WAKE UP., but its so hard espeically for me because if you know me , you know i will tell u to ur face how it is.....but for some reason i cant do it with his family. I always stop myself.
FH is not great at dealing with things.
cbcf
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Re: How does everyone deal with
I am actually starting to be very honest with FH about his family. I tell him how when we live in the apt above FIL's house I need it locked when we arent home and I dont want his mom coming upstairs to do my dishes laundry etc. cause she will. He agrees but I at first thought it would hurt his feelings but he tells his parents how he feels no matter if it hurts them or not- he is very honest
But also the only problems i have encountered so far have me involved anyway. Since FH is away from home I stop by his parents house alot. And htey will talk and tell me things (like how they put the dog to sleep or his dad set the kitchen on fire and then got it re-done). Well I told FH and they got mad at me because he shouldnt have to wrory about things at home when he is in the MArines. He told his parents that he told me to tell him what happens and htey cant get mad at me because I am doing what he asked and that he has the right to know and no he cant change things but he has the right to know. Plus he doesnt want to find out when he comes home that the kitchen is re-done and the dog is missing because he wil be even more upset!!
But I do try to stay out of it all.
minibride08
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Re: How does everyone deal with
DEPENDS... on the situation. His family will be my family so I try to encourage communication. However, some things are better for me not to open my mouth b/c that's how they've always been & that's how they always will be!
ShanonandSteve
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Re: How does everyone deal with
not unless it directly involves FH.. then i feel it is my business.
Mizzdimple
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Re: How does everyone deal with
Posted by ShanonandSteve
not unless it directly involves FH.. then i feel it is my business.
Yea....ugh....thats what I'm thinking.
DNS91308
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Re: How does everyone deal with
Posted by Mizzdimple
Problems in your FH's family, Do you get involved? Do they involve you? Do you try to mind your business?
Oh my god!!!!!! FH family has so much drama and yes i have become involved, but as the peacekeeper...
To be honest its so hard to explain. FSIL and her husband have done things where FH doesnt agree. He feels like they take advantage of FH parents who are extremely loving and caring and do anything for their kids. While all this si going on FSIL has a baby. So i have a lovely little nephew he is 1.5years now. FH will not pay any attention the kid... who it totally adorable.... and barely even says hello to his sister and brother in law.... Now FH family is small. FFIL whole family still lives in Italy. So FMIL has two sisters who each have two kids, who each have three kids... FH is the youngest. And everyone is really close.... they all do things together on the weekend.... they do not include FH and I because of his attitude problem.... So i try to be friendly with everyone and Ive talked to FSIL and we decided that we are going to try have nice relationship despite the problems between FH and FSIL. I also try to be active in the babys life as well. FMIL will call me sometimes when FH and FSIL fight and argue.... its hard..... and my e-party is this sunday and im sick to my stomach b/c i feel like his whole family hates us.... and i dont know what to do. I think FSIL was wrong for taking advantage, but the way FH acts towards them drives me crazy....
Sorry so long, im just happy to hear someone else is dealing with this, b/c i feel lost.
Future Mulligan
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Re: How does everyone deal with
i keep to myself and then i complain to FH
his family isnt that bad - there were times when i was upset at things that happened - but so was he - so i didn't really need to say anything to him he handled it on his on......
Mizzdimple
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Re: How does everyone deal with
His family isnt that bad...his brothers have their own issues....
KitWisdom
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Re: How does everyone deal with
I’m lucky as all hell, because I adore FH’s family! He doesn’t get on with his mom too great all the time, but that’s because he’s a bit critical of her behavior. I think that I have some distance, I’m a lot more tolerant. They’re not the type to really air their problems, but when FMIL is upset, I’ll listen to her.
ant n tilde
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Re: How does everyone deal with
FH and I are VERY careful when it comes to our families
He deals with his family, and I deal with mine. If we have SERIOUS issues with the other's family we will ONLY tell each other and NOT confront any family members. If I feel that his family is out of line, HE will take care of it and vice versa.
This has worked for us for almost ten years!
Mizzdimple
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Re: How does everyone deal with
Posted by ant n tilde
FH and I are VERY careful when it comes to our families
He deals with his family, and I deal with mine. If we have SERIOUS issues with the other's family we will ONLY tell each other and NOT confront any family members. If I feel that his family is out of line, HE will take care of it and vice versa.
This has worked for us for almost ten years!
Good idea!
Future Mulligan
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Re: How does everyone deal with
Posted by Mizzdimple
Posted by ant n tilde
FH and I are VERY careful when it comes to our families
He deals with his family, and I deal with mine. If we have SERIOUS issues with the other's family we will ONLY tell each other and NOT confront any family members. If I feel that his family is out of line, HE will take care of it and vice versa.
This has worked for us for almost ten years!
Good idea!
yeah that is pretty much how it is for us too.....if there is an issue FH usually discusses it with them when i am not there.....as for my family, well nothing happened with them yet
