Brides Helping Brides ™ - How far apart in age...

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Apr 12, 2004 07:59 PM

How far apart in age...

I'm worried becasue my son is 6 (from my 1st marriage) and eventually I'd like to have another, but I'm concerned with the age difference.
How far apart are you and your siblings and was it a good/bad age difference?

BriarRose Posted: Apr 12, 2004 08:17 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

Well I'm gonna be honest and tell you what it was like for me. Keeping in mind all children are different.
I was 6 when my brother was born. Prior to that anyway, i was spoiled and doted on.
Then came this 6 pd bundle of pain in the butt.
I HATED my brother. Until he was 4 my mother had to make sure we were always suprvised if we were together.
I could not be trusted if he were left alone with me.
Eventually I warmed to the idea of a sibling
My brother confides in me and we are close enough in age to 'talk mean' about our parents when they are getting on our nerves.
My brother is greatful that I 'broke' our parents in for him.
I am greatful that my brother is such a caring and generous man.
My brother looks up to me and I look out for him. So in my opinion...
I think it's a perfect age difference.

antoinette Posted: Apr 12, 2004 08:40 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

my brother is 6 years younger than me and we have sort of a different relationship than siblings that are closer in age. He looks up to me for advice but sometimes in a motherly way. As we get older though I can see us becoming better firends, for very much of our lives we were going thru completely different stages of our lives that we didnt connect often.

StayandJohn Posted: Apr 12, 2004 09:09 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

My DH and his sister are 8 years apart, his sister being older. He pretty much grew up as an only child in the sense that his sister was already somewhat grown up and had her friends and school activities. As for me and my brother there was only 19 months between us and we grew up very very close.

btrflygrl Posted: Apr 12, 2004 09:19 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

my sister and I are 2 yrs and 10 months apart

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 12, 2004 09:54 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

JT and his sister are 6 years apart and they have no relationship at all.....BUT Stacy, you KNOW how JT's family is, so that really is not a good example. As for you, Scotty would make a GREAT older brother, and I think he would LOVE to have a sibling to play with and what not. Or, you could always adopt me, and then me and him can hang out

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Apr 12, 2004 10:11 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

Sure Rach, consider yourself adopted!! (Sorry we never got to hang during vacation. We were so busy and I cant believe it's over! )

Maybe next weekend???

IrishTracy Posted: Apr 12, 2004 11:56 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

I'm 6 years older then then my brother. WE fought like any brother & sister do. I also have 4 other siblings. My brother & I are close. He's the Godfather to Patrick.

I also have a niece who is 17 & her brothers are 10 & 6. They also get along. But, still have their fights. It's normal.

Take your time. Don't feel rushed. I'm sure you've probably even discussed this w/ Scotty. (That's an assumption because I know you guys are so close) I'm sure he'd love the idea of you & your FH giving him a brother or sister. I don't think there is any 'right way' to deal w/ age gaps.

Rainmama Posted: Apr 13, 2004 10:27 AM

Re: How far apart in age...

My brother is 10 years older than me, and my sister is almost 3 years younger.

Since my brother and I are so far apart in age, it was liking growing up in two seperate families. We are just now (I'm 25, he's 35) starting to form some kind of brother/sister bond. It's weird...we were never close until our dad passed away.

My sister and I, however, are as close as can be! We talk on the phone continuously throughout the day. She's my best friend! But I think a major part of our connection is the fact that we both became pregnant and had our first children within three months of one another....We weren't always this close!

dawnie Posted: Apr 13, 2004 10:36 AM

Re: How far apart in age...

Posted by btrflygrl

my sister and I are 2 yrs and 10 months apart

My sister and I also.

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 13, 2004 10:49 AM

Re: How far apart in age...

Posted by The Original 2nd-time-around

Sure Rach, consider yourself adopted!! (Sorry we never got to hang during vacation. We were so busy and I cant believe it's over! )

Maybe next weekend???

Give me a call about this coming weekend. I was really sick all vacation, anyway, so don't worry about it!

I also wanted to add that my cousins are 8 years apart and are VERY close. The older one is 23 and the younger is 15, and the older one coaches the younger one's hockey team, so that is really nice.
Then I have another set of cousins who are 6 years apart and they are also very close. Because my aunt leaves my older cousin to watch her little brother, they spend a lot of quality time together.

AliKing Posted: Apr 13, 2004 11:17 AM

Re: How far apart in age...

There are 4 of us in my family. I am the youngest.
My sister is 8 years older, brother 7, and other brother 5.
I am best friends with all of them.... I dont think that age has been an issue with us.

Nancy Posted: Apr 13, 2004 11:51 AM

Re: How far apart in age...

I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters...the closest one in age to me is 6 years older and the oldest is 17 years older. Since I was the odd child, it was more like I was an only child with lots of parent type figures. Now that we are all older, we are all close.

MrsTC Posted: Apr 13, 2004 12:07 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

I was 8 when my sister was born. My parents tried to have more right after me and had a lot of trouble.

We got along great but i often wished we were closer in age....different generations in a way. And i know she misses me a lot now that I am married and living away. I would like to have my kids closer in age if that is what God blesses me with.

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Apr 13, 2004 12:30 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

Thanks ladies. I HAVE discussed this with my son and I think he'll be a great big brother. And it's true, although they will be far apart in age, we are a very close family and I know my son and my 'child to be' (oneday) will be close as well.

prncssrachel Posted: Apr 13, 2004 12:33 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

Posted by The Original 2nd-time-around

Thanks ladies. I HAVE discussed this with my son and I think he'll be a great big brother. And it's true, although they will be far apart in age, we are a very close family and I know my son and my 'child to be' (oneday) will be close as well.

Well, this is exactly what I was thinking about when I first read your thread. I think that siblings are as close as their families teach them to be. Like with my example of JT and his sister, their family is screwed up, so their relationship is too...but my cousins, well, we're an extremely tight family, which is why they are all extremely tight. I know how close your family is, and of course you are already instilling that in Scotty. Plus, he's just such a fun kid!

DrmnBlnd Posted: Apr 13, 2004 12:35 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

I am 4 years older than my brother- sometimes it's good, sometimes not. I notice that I am A LOT more mature than he is, so it is hard for us to relate to each other.

verdila Posted: Apr 13, 2004 03:18 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

To be honest.....I am also 5.5 yrs older than my only sibling, my sister. I was also extremely doted on and spoiled before my sister came along because I was an only child AND the only grandchild on both sides for 5.5 yrs so you can imagine the spoiled tot that I was!

I resented my sister when she was first born, but then we became closer for a few yrs until I got to HS. Then I resented her again, because I wanted to hang out with my own friends and not have to babysit her, which my parents made me do. Then, I went away to college so I missed her teen yrs. We were always in different stages so it wasnt good, ya know. Then I moved out for good when I was 24 (and she was 18/19 and going to school near home) so she was essentially an only child for several yrs . We have become closer the last few yrs being that we both got married within a yr of each other and are at the same stage in life. I am 32 and she is 27. ETA: I am glad I have her as a sister now!

I think the dynamics of a family definitely make up part of who you become....

So the advice I can give is dont make your son babysit when he is older! And make him feel comfortable when the second baby comes, I have been told it is completely normal for that first child to be jealous! Good luck - it works out!

Kelly9904 Posted: Apr 13, 2004 09:51 PM

Re: How far apart in age...

my brothers are 11 and 8 years older than me! Growing up I was close to the oldest one but not the other one (it had to do with him being very jealous because he was VERY ill just prior to my birth so he was soo used to be the center of it all) anyway, now I am really close to my middle brother and semi close to my older brother!

My cousin just had her second child who is 8 years younger than her son! He ADORES his little sister and loves helping out! My neice and nephew are 8 and 10 and are about to have a new baby sister and they cant wait!

Honestly I think its all dependant on the child and their personalities! I am sure your son will be soo excited to be the BIG brother!!

Adrianna Posted: Apr 14, 2004 08:42 AM

Re: How far apart in age...

I am the oldest of 5 kids, the age difference goes like this, 5 yrs, 7 years, 10 years and 15 years. I have one sister and we are 10 years apart and to be honest we have nothing incommon b/c I a girly girl and she is a tomboy, granted she is 13 but she was always playing with my brothers who were 2 & 4 years older than her. It took me a while to adjust when my first brother came along b/c I was an only child for 5 years and then he came along but we never faught as more kids came into play we faught and then when he was about 13-16 I couldnt stand him he had a bad attitude but now that he will be 18 he is changing and becoming more of a man. My brother that is 7 yrs younger than me, we never had a problem we always got along, we never faught. He is also the happy go lucky type of guy he will be 16 this year. The three of them all fight like crazy especially my sister and the older brother. With the little one I felt more like a mom than a sister. I guess b/c I actually saw him grow up infront of me and payed attention, I was 15 when he was born, now he is 8 and getting so big. I think it depends on the kids and how they are with each other and how you teach them to interact with each other. Sibblings always fight and that is something that is natural. I wouldnt worry about there being an age difference if you teach your son maybe before you get preganat so he knows what to expect and he knows what will go on that way he doesnt feel like he was left out and then all of a sudden a baby comes along hes forgotten.