mine really only cares how much things cost. he generally hates weddings (well not specifically weddings, most affairs in general), and he also doesnt really like being the center of attention. i have no doubt that he wants to celebrate us spending the rest of our lives together, but i know hed be just as happy if we eloped in jamaica or something. i mean i dont really mind cause it means i really dont have to fight for anything that i want but sometimes i feel more like im planning MY day than OUR day. when it comes down to it he really doesnt care about any of the details as long as im happy and his mom doesnt ask him too many questions about it! but sometimes when i think about it i feel a little lonely and like im forcing him into this wedding (which i hope will only be medium-sized). dont get me wrong he hasnt overly objected to anything, i just know him and i know hell just say yes to everything to make me happy - similarly i dont want our wedding to make him miserable. so im trying to find little touches i can add to the day to make it fun for him, like a reggae band since he loves reggae, and maybe a grooms cake shaped like yankee stadium... little things that will make him happier about being there. anyone else's FH like this?? how did you get him more involve?
Tria1110
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
FH helped pick the hall and that's about it. And that's how I like it! That said ... I gave him 4 particular things to take care of and its kinda cute that he made a list so he'll be sure they are done. (And they are things that affect him & his family directly so he'll be sure to do them).
In general I think the whole wedding planning is not interesting and very daunting to most guys. I think if you give him a short list of things you want him to help with he might be more willing to help. Otherwise he might think he's getting wrangled into every bitter detail.
Bklyngrl
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
I think i need to start giving him a list. its so hard not to be a nag but i wish he would show 'slightly' more enthusiasm. as of now all he's in charge of is transportation and we both agreed on the hall... its depressing sometimes. especially since i don't have any sisters and my mother is VERY self centered. hate to sound like a baby but i don't feel 'special'
woodstock529
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
since we havent made any real decisions yet im not sure how he'll be. he didnt visit any of the halls with me. ive narrowed it pretty much down to my favorite (glen cove mansion) and im bringing him, FMIL and my mom asap to negotiate the price. but if the people there cant meet when hes available he said he doesnt care if he doesnt go. so i said dont you want to see it, and he said he can look at the website and he knows its perfect already since i like it so much.
about 65% of the time when i ask him things he says 'whatever you want.' the rest of the time he complains that well be spending enough $$ to put a down payment on a house. although i really have to keep reminding him (constantly) that we arent spending OUR money. my mom is paying 80% and his parents 20% and thats our budget. we dont actually have to pay for anything so far. i keep reminding him that its my moms only wedding (im an only child) and that she saved this money specifically for this. even though the hall i want is more expensive than i was originally looking for, he even said that if my mom is ok with paying for it then hes fine with it.
sooo when it comes down to it im sure hell want to taste the food, thats a given. he'll def want to hear the band. other details i dont think hell care about. hell def care about the honeymoon so maybe ill give him that task.
its funny cause to me, im more worried that hes bothered that our wedding will be putting him in the spotlight when he doesnt want to be. haha i guess i had to type all of that out to realize it . cause when it comes down to it i really dont mind making a bulk of the decisions!
thanks for letting me vent ladies!
MJDoc12
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
mine is super involved in the wedding planning--we've done everything together. heck--he even attended a GTG i went to last week with my knottie ladies from the long island board! (that was funny!)
however i know that my FH is a great exception to the norm. try not to rip your hair out over it. some guys would rather have a root canal than help plan the wedding. it doesn't mean he doesn't want to marry you or anything--just no interested in crypack and STD's! if your groom isn't hands on--best thing is just to accept it as best as possible and hope for the best!
don't forget--you always have us ladies on here!!!
Tiggeruth
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
My FH does all the planning with me. he has opinions on everything. I couldn't imagine planning it wihtout his input. He has gone to every vendor appt with me. Its been great. I do do the research part of things and then present him wiht what we should check out but after that stage he is totally hands on. Its fun
Bklyngrl
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
you girls are lucky
Danigrl28
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
I have to say that I was very lucky. My DH wanted to be involved with every aspect of the planning and came with me to every single appoitment, vendor searching, showcases, etc.
sunshine1813
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
FH is involved to a certain extent. He helped pick out the RH, photo and DJ. The DJ was a must. He has no interest in flowers,dresses or invites but he wants to have input on the food, favors and gifts for the bridal party. I'm ok w/ that. I'm happy he wants to be involved. I didn't think he would want to be a part of any of it. They way I look at it, they are guys. They don't look at weddings the same way girls do. They just want to get married and have a party.
Bklyngrl
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
and what do you make of FH saying tonite won't be a 'late nite' on a weekday - its 10:00 which kind of pisses me off because we won't be seeing each other for the next 2 nites - am i being silly?
KandE917
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Re: how involved is FH in the wedding planning?
Posted by Tiggeruth
My FH does all the planning with me. he has opinions on everything. I couldn't imagine planning it wihtout his input. He has gone to every vendor appt with me. Its been great. I do do the research part of things and then present him wiht what we should check out but after that stage he is totally hands on. Its fun
mine is the same way only difference is I wish he weren't so involved. He has too much to say and disagrees with me on a lot of things guys shouldn't care about!
