How involved is your FH in the planning?

Just curious... My FH has been very involved, for the most part. We wavers in and out...he does all the big things with me, and has opinions on most of the little things. Some things he says he trusts my taste and has a passing interest in (the flowers). He knows, since I don't have a mother to help me, I need his help. Sometimes I think he just gets wedding overload, but I always have details flying through my head and want to know his opinion. Am I asking too much of him? Maybe we both need a week of from thinking about the planning...won't be this week though because we have appointments with vendors :-)

How involved is your FH in the planning?

My FH is the same, very involved in the planning. His attitute towards this is 'whatever makes you happy!' which is wonderful, yet at the same time, he gives me his opinions too. My mom and dad are involved in the planning also and so are his parents. It has been working out well. We are 'tag' teaming the appts., with my FH going to the most important ones (for us). He has tagged along to the florist, but like your FH, doesn't have much interest in them. I think you are not asking too much of him, and think it's great he's so involved. I don't think many FH are. However, I would be careful not to wear him out with all the running around. I would ask him if he wants to attend your next appts. before you make them, this way, if he does want to go, he can suggest a time when he won't feel so 'wedding planned out'. Also, be sure to let him know how thankful you are for him being there. It sounds like your FH is a great catch! Good luck!

How involved is your FH in the planning?

I thought I was the only one who was constantly thinking about wedding plans. I find myself daydreaming all the time about what needs to be done next and what the day will be like when it finally arrives. My FH sounds very similar to yours. He is involved in most aspects, although I have an appointment with a wedding planner at Fox Hollow in March, and he told me he would rather pass on that. It's nice to have someone that's involved but I really don't expect him to be as obsessed with everything as I am. I agree with you though, once this week is over for you, I think you should just relax and just enjoy eachother. I just booked Fox Hollow this weekend, and said I don't want to do a thing this weekend. All this planning can really become overwhelming, and I am just beginning. Where are you having your wedding? What else do you have to book? Congrats.

How involved is your FH in the planning? Mishy

Mishy (what we call my sister :-), We booked Coral House, and are going to see the DJ tomorrow to book him. We have the photographer, invites and the limos left to do. I find I am obsessing on the little things...place cards, table numbers, menus at each place setting or not, the ceremony booklet...basically all the things I plan on printing up myself on the computer. One thing I do like about asking his opinion is that he is much more decisive! We went to the Wrap With Us warehouse and he decided we are doing the almonds. Good! I couldn't decided if we should. He proceded to pick out the organza pouches, decided we MUST have the name imprinted ribbon, and a ribbon rose on each. He also said we would sit and assemble them together (that one impressed me!). He then decided the favors would be crystal clocks. Who knew it was that easy?? I have looked at no less than 30 favor sites online trying to decide. I wasn't sure if it was ok to go to vendors like the photographer without him...the flowers I didn't have a problem with because I showed him a picture of the bouquet before I went to finalize and he was happy with it.

How involved is your FH in the planning?

My FH was very involoved in the begining but as time passed he became less involved. He still helps with the big decisions but he trusts my judgement in all of the minor details.

How involved is your FH in the planning?

Well, I did all the research for everything. But, he has gone to every appointment we had, and has had a lot of opinions about certain things. He doesn't care about the flowers too much either, or the dresses for the BM. Overall, he's been good, sometimes I just wish he had more of an opinion on some stuff.

How involved is your FH in the planning?

My FI came with me to all the major vendors ie photo, video, hall, dj and invites. He has left everything else up to me. We are doing cds as favors and I think for some strange reason he wants to leave the listening of all the cds up to me...WTH??? he will be listening too LOL. As ladies we live, eat sleep and drink this wedding planning and sometimes I wish my Fi would be as excited I am about a new idea, but I guess they are men and us finding a great florist will not excite them as it do us. I wish everyone a happy planning

How involved is your FH in the planning?

My FH is very involved in the planning. We've done everything together. The only thing I'll be doing on my own are the Flowers, Bridesmaid dresses, and my gown.

How involved is your FH in the planning?

My FH is more involved then I thought he would be. But, he does say that I'm obsessing about certain things (as you all know, deciding about a florist) and if I make a big deal about something, he doesn't want to be involved in the decision. I can't expect him to be like me, so, if he's not into doing stuff w/ me, I don't get upset b/c the actual ceremony (and I don't mean the flower girl dresses, etc.) is the most important part; that is what he should take part in planning, deciding. The other stuff is just extras, which I want to do b/c I have the time and excitement. Otherwise, on the weekends, he is pretty willing to get at least one thing done with me.

How involved is your FH in the planning? Mishy

Diana, Sounds like your FH is great. It's nice to have someone who is decisive. I can think about something forever and not be sure what to do, but my FH is like yours, he can tell me something that he feels should be, and I can feel relaxed that the decision is made and feel comfortable with the decision. I can only imagine how obsessive I'm going to get once I start with the florist, dj, photographer, etc. Like I said, I need a weekend of relaxation so I will start to think about all that stuff next week. My major decision is where to have our ceremony. We are an interfaith couple and don't know where to have the ceremony. At first we thought C.W. Post's interfaith chapel, but not sure if it's free that day and it seems a bit expensive after we do all the decorating. Anyway, my new obsession is coming up with another idea of a place to have our ceremony. I went to a wedding at the Coral House a few years ago, the place was beautiful. Good luck with the rest of your planning.

How involved is your FH in the planning?

My FH has been involved with the big stuff. Although, my mother and I checked out the halls first, and I took him back to the ones I liked, and then we made the final decision. I also met with my bridal coordinator at John Anthony`s with my mom and picked 3 photographers to go visit. He came with me to all 3. Next we plan the DJ (and the engagement party). All in all he`s been very good - can`t complain. I agree that as brides we eat sleep and live our wedding plans. We can`t expect them to be that into the planning.

Wow...Im in the minority

and I thought an uninvolved FH was the majority... My FH came with me to all the halls, but definitely pooped out. Everything else I did on my own, with my sister or my mom... When I couldn't decide on invites...I had him look at my top 4 choices and he picked the one he liked best...then he said he wanted bubbles (I hadn't even thought about it), but I figured since there are so few things he has asked for, I would give him bubbles. My mom has been doing the little stuff, like buying supplies at Michaels, for me... but on your own does get stressful.

How involved is your FH in the planning?

My FH really surprised me by being so involved and enthusiastic about everything. He even went on to the internet to research flowers that were available during our month and printed them out so we could pick which ones we liked together. He also bought me all the Martha Stewart books (cool!!!). He still amazes me when I hear words like 'black magic roses' and 'heather' coming out of his mouth as I never thought he would have the slightest interest in this stuff. It was his idea to have a harp player at the church. The only thing he won't be involved in are my dress and my girls dresses. I never knew he would get so into all this and it makes me so happy. I love our weekends when we spend all day doing wedding stuff together (he even comes to arts and crafts stores with me for ideas! How cute is that?!!) I spoke to some of his friends at work and they told me how he talks about wedding stuff constantly so they tease him now (he's a big strong italian guy so when they hear him gushing over things like the flower arch we are having the rip into him but he deosn't even mind that!). He's too cute. I love him! :) Happy me!

yabbobay, your not alone

I think my FH is happy that we are planning our wedding from out of state. I don't think he would be joining me on all of the vendor visits. He has helped me with the major decisions like the hall and the invites. But as far as everything else he has said that he trusts my judgement. I usually just run everything by him before I make any final decisions just in case he has a preference on anything, but for the most part whatever I pick is usually fine by him. I actually kind of like it because then I usually get my way :-) and I don't have to worry about us not agreeing on the minor details. I have given him some jobs to do though to keep me from stressing out. Right now he is working on finding a church that we can take our pre cana class at and the big one...he is planning our honeymoon. Happy planning to all.

Another uninvolved FH here!

Mine came with me to choose the reception cite and he took care of blocking hotel rooms, but other than that, he so does not care! Mostly, he just really doesn`t want to go to LI to meet with people. He would be just as happy if I called him right now and told him that I wanted to go to Vegas this weekend to get married. He gives me the old 'I trust your judgment' line, but mostly he just wants to be married and couldn`t care less how we go about doing it. I also enjoy having total control over the decisions! No overbearing mom, no interfereing future MIL, just me! And I know that if I need his input, he will help. But he hopes that I wont need his input! Becky

YET Another uninvolved FH here!

Yet another one here, my situation is exactly like Becky...

So-So involved FH

My man helped with the hall and the photographer and everything else 'he trusts me on'. So I booked the DJ and Video, got the favors and lots of other stuff he doesnt know about without him. I think its just some guys don't want to have to deal with all the little details. But hes a good sport...whatever I want he is OK with.

Wow...Im in the minority TOO!

My FH is NOT very involved. I tell him some of the details and he either nods ok or says, 'that sounds real nice.' He's not into details and I'm obsessed. I don't mind it because my mom and I are the planners. The wedding is constantly on my mind.

I must say....

Although we are not engaged yet and have started the pre-planning of the planning, my soon to be FI is helping me out, although sometimes I wished he didn't get involved! Disputes have already started even though we haven't booked anything yet! Anyone have any suggestions on this? He is more simple and I am more glitz & glamour. On some things we agree but on others we don't. Since I am the one doing all the research I deserve some credit, and my opinion should override his, No? Geez I sound greedy. I value his comments but sometimes I just want to put some tape around his mouth :-) Any advice on compromising is gladly taken! Thanks in advance!!

cw0904

I think the best thing to do is to decide what things are most important to you and what are most important to your FH and work from there. Like if you want a reception place that is full of glitz and glamor maybe you should tone down the decorating to a more simple style inside. That way you get the place that you like but your FH will not feel like it is overdone. But try not to sweat the small stuff, it's not worth it. Remember what this day is really about. Best of luck