Brides Helping Brides ™ - How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

MizStinker Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:22 PM

How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

Also how often does he go out with his friends?

Just a little back story, FH and I have been at odds lately about his social time. I think he gets in to late and is a little to intrested in going out and that it is not really appropriate. I just want to see what other couples do.

ETA - also LIW men what do you think is a 'normal' amount of social time? I am really intrested to hear your opinions.

Thanks

Blu-ize Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:26 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

I would like to know too...my DH goes out sometimes ( not a alot, but when he does he's out late). We fight about it all the time. When I go out I try to get home at a reasonable time. I feel he should do the same. He is the only married guy of his friends.

Spitzergirl Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:28 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

Posted by MizStinker

Also how often does he go out with his friends?

Just a little back story, FH and I have been at odds lately about his social time. I think he gets in to late and is a little to intrested in going out and that it is not really appropriate. I just want to see what other couples do.

ETA - also LIW men what do you think is a 'normal' amount of social time? I am really intrested to hear your opinions.

Thanks

you have FM

Valentinegirl Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:29 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

I would say it depends on where he is and how often it is.

ETS...When we go out w/ our friends to a club w/ out eachother we get home at like 2am maybe. Its very rare that we don''t go out together though.

don424 Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:30 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

not going to be much help -- all my friends are married or dating, we get together once every couple of months and we usually get home by 11

september2004 Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:32 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

we normally go out together, however we will try to have a girls night and guys night about once a month to get away from each other and maintain our sanity...

DH will also grab a drink with a buddy after work here and there and be home by 9:00/10:00, i did the same when i worked in the city...

StepherG Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:33 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

My DH goes out with his friends a couple of times a month...mostly on weeknights...not sure what time he gets home because I'm usually asleep. The only time I got upset was when he came home at NOON the next day!!! I was worried sick and he and his friend were sleeping in his friends car because they were too drunk to drive. He's never done that again!
We usually don't argue about him going out because I think it's healthy for him to go and unwind with his buddies. He usually checks with me first to make sure we don't have plans and that's about it.

soon2bmrs2004 Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:39 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

DH usually goes out with his friends to watch football on Sunday and is home by either 9 or ten at night.
He leaves around noon. I really don't mind and sometimes enjoy the time to my self or I will hang out with my girlfriends. I am glad he goes some place else to watch football since I can not stand the sport.
Other than sunday we go out together.

AnnBrunoXO Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:45 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

Me and my husband usually go out together or occasionly plan something on the same night so that we are both out -

On occasion he will go out with his buddies for a drink - but is home early. But this isn't something that happens often...

edited for spelling.

Janice Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:52 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

If he is at his friends house and they bbqued, and playing video games, I don't care when he comes home, but as far as going out without me, doesn't happen...I don't need that extra stress and nonsense in my life

DjPiLL Posted: Dec 27, 2004 02:56 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

My FW has absolutely no problem with me going out with my 'pals'. She sets no timelimit on how long I can stay out... nor what I do... nor who I go out with.

She said she does not believe in that... since she wouldn't want the same rules applied to her.

And yeah... i'm a guy.

I think its pretty laughable that some women place 'rules' on this kind of behavior. Talk about ball and chain.

EDIT: Oh.... and its not like I am out partying every night with the guys. I don't go out very often without her... but I do DJ alot which keeps me out till 5am every night at the bars.

MizStinker Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:01 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

I have always been pretty cool with him going out and having outside intrests. He goes to bowling pretty much all day on Sundays. Then he goes out once a week (usually Saturday), but he stays out until 7am each time.

Some people look at me like I have 5 heads when I tell them he gets home at 7. Sometimes it bothers me sometimes it dosent. Just wondering what everyone else thinks? And I am more of a homebody - I joke that I am taking a little party break for a few years.

StepherG Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:01 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

Posted by DjPiLL

My FW has absolutely no problem with me going out with my 'pals'. She sets no timelimit on how long I can stay out... nor what I do... nor who I go out with.

She said she does not believe in that... since she wouldn't want the same rules applied to her.

And yeah... i'm a guy.

I think its pretty laughable that some women place 'rules' on this kind of behavior. Talk about ball and chain.

EDIT: Oh.... and its not like I am out partying every night with the guys. I don't go out very often without her... but I do DJ alot which keeps me out till 5am every night at the bars.

I agree 100% with you and your FW...my DH and I are the same. We couldn't live any other way.

eogara Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:04 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

FH plays cards once a week, usually Wednesday but sometimes Thursday. I think he gets home around 1AM but I'm sound asleep so I couldn't swear to that. We've been such old farts lately and hardly ever go out, never mind without one another, but when he does, it depends who he is with. There are certain friends that he stays out super late with but I know that because that's how they go out. With most of them he's home by 1:30, 2AM. Same with me, although I might be a little on the earlier side.

Valentinegirl Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:05 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

Posted by MizStinker

I have always been pretty cool with him going out and having outside intrests. He goes to bowling pretty much all day on Sundays. Then he goes out once a week (usually Saturday), but he stays out until 7am each time.

Some people look at me like I have 5 heads when I tell them he gets home at 7. Sometimes it bothers me sometimes it dosent. Just wondering what everyone else thinks? And I am more of a homebody - I joke that I am taking a little party break for a few years.

Where is he til 7am? A club? If it's every week, that's a little late I guess, so I see where you are coming from.

MizStinker Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:11 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

no a bar - and we really don't go out together anymore. His friends are very male oriented and I find that when I go with him he has to pay attention to me the whole time and really isn't getting time to hang out with them.

I guess I just never thought I would be put in a ball and chain situation because it was really not my style. It just really gets upsetting feeling like your FH would rather be anywhere else but with you.

bxgell2 Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:15 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

My ex used to go out all the time without me and come home at extreme hours... at first it wasn't a problem, but when it became 2,3,4 times a week, it became a big problem, and the relationship pretty much ended at that point. Now, I've come to learn that he was cheating on me all those late nights (lovely).

DH is a totally different breed. He's older (34) and just isn't into the party scene at all, so he doesn't really go out with his friends. If he does go out, he usually invites me. Occasionally I won't go, but usually I do because all of our friends are mutual. If he goes alone, he's usually home around 10 or 11pm.

Janice Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:21 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

Posted by DjPiLL

My FW has absolutely no problem with me going out with my 'pals'. She sets no timelimit on how long I can stay out... nor what I do... nor who I go out with.

She said she does not believe in that... since she wouldn't want the same rules applied to her.

And yeah... i'm a guy.

I think its pretty laughable that some women place 'rules' on this kind of behavior. Talk about ball and chain.

EDIT: Oh.... and its not like I am out partying every night with the guys. I don't go out very often without her... but I do DJ alot which keeps me out till 5am every night at the bars.

well I hardly consider myself a rule maker or a ball and chain.... DH bartends and is out late 4 nights a week, working....
I am sorry but it would hurt my feelings and add stress to my day if DH called and said he is going out to a club, he will be back by morning. Going out drinking and dancing without your SO equals trouble IMO.

As long as I am safe, DH doesn't care if I go out. But my DH is always invited.

nferrandi Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:25 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

DH and I often go out together, but when we go out separately, we both tend to come home pretty late- usually around 4:30 or so. But when we go out together we get home around then anyway, so that's pretty normal. Occasionally he pushes his luck or falls asleep somewhere and we'll get into an arguement. It's not so much that he comes home so late, it's that he doesn't call me to let me know he's in one piece.

FriendoftheBride Posted: Dec 27, 2004 03:53 PM

Re: How late does FH stay out when he is out with the guys?

Posted by DjPiLL

My FW has absolutely no problem with me going out with my 'pals'. She sets no timelimit on how long I can stay out... nor what I do... nor who I go out with.

She said she does not believe in that... since she wouldn't want the same rules applied to her.

And yeah... i'm a guy.

I think its pretty laughable that some women place 'rules' on this kind of behavior. Talk about ball and chain.

EDIT: Oh.... and its not like I am out partying every night with the guys. I don't go out very often without her... but I do DJ alot which keeps me out till 5am every night at the bars.

I completely agree, especially if you know where your SO is. My SO goes out with the guys and I have no problem with him coming home at 4am because I do the same thing when I'm out with my girlfriends. It's really a no win situation when people argue about it, but yes your SO should let you know where he or she is going just to give you peace of mind.