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How long are you waiting until

Original post by 2009wedding

How long after you are married will you and you fh have kids? Have the two of you talked about it yet? My fh and I talked about it and he thinks he wants to wait to have kids (like maybe 8 years). He wants to travel and do things while we are still young. I want to travel and do things too but I don't want to wait 8 years to have kids. I can see waiting maybe at most two or three years but not 8 years after you are married. I am 27 years old. I want a family. I want two or three kids. He wants no more then two. We have had this talk before and he said to me he wants to have a family with me he just never told me he wanted to wait such a long time to have a family. I am a little upset about it but what can I do. He never did say he didn't want kids he just said he wants to wait to have kids. He would make such a great father so I have no idea what he is so worried about if that is what it is.My fh is great with kids and he has such a big heart. I love him with all my heart and I want to have a family with him. I have always wanted to have a family and be a Mom. I just don't want to wait to long and I loose that chance.

jgourdain Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

We already have one so I dont want them to be to far apart (they will be at least 7) so we plan to get pregnant the same year we get married. I understand about waiting and enjoying your time together, kids take a majority of it and our expensive. I think 8 years in drastic you guys should meet in the middle maybe 4. Good luck

Mrs. Bernabe Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until


Posted by Opera_Ghost


Posted by Mrs. Bernabe


Posted by Opera_Ghost

We've decided to not have children, but at some point we will have to decide when to tell our hopefuly parents that want become grandparents LOL.

We just aren't the parenting type and we want to do a lot of traveling, have financial stability & be able to have freedom to go & do what we want.



wow, I respect that, but how old are you? Do you think you guys might change your minds down the road after you have traveled and lived your life. I used to say that I didn't want kids but that was when I was like 18 yrs old DH and I spoke about it and we dont want kids for another 3 to 5 yrs. We want to finish school and start a new career, so its tough to have children when you have so many plans, but I think there is a time where you'll long for kids. Everyone is different and may mean what they say and like I said I respect that, but other change their minds after a couple of yrs. GL to those who are TTC.



We're both 25. I've just never been the type to think kids are cute and he had to raise his sister who is al ot younger than him cause mom & (step) dad where barely around (and even when they were there they suck as parents).

We've decided to have a puppy



I have two puppies, and like I said before I never wanted kids, and I personally am not the type to think kids are cute, but over a sudden I want one. I guess my friends are having babies and it's not that I want them because everyone else has babies, but because I see the joy it brings to them and how it changes their life in a good way. I want that now for me, but of course in another 3 to 5 yrs.
teenigrrl Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

we are actively trying now i'm 32 and DH is 38, he'd really like one by the time he turns 40 (less than a year and a half away!), and i have major baby fever, so right now is the right time for us.
2009wedding Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

I think my fh and I need to talk about this some more and he needs to understand I do not want to wait 8 years to have kids. I will be more then happy to wait 2 or 3 years maybe even 4 years if he wants to wait and meet half way with each other but there is no way I am waiting 8 years to have children. I want two kids. I do want to travel and do things together but we can do that stuff while we wait to have kids and then travel and do things together as a family. I am also on birth control pills so it will take some time for it to get out of my system cause I been on them for years. Maybe he will come around and agree 8 years is a bit much. I really do not want to wait 8 years to have kids. I will wait the most 4 years to have children but not 8 years. I want a family together. I know will be ready at that time in always.

GinaZ Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

we would love to have kids after a year or 2 of being married, but financially we will have to wait.
MnM182008 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

FH and I would love to have kids as soon as we get married but we want to be more financially more secure. We would love to own our home before we had kids as well. Emotionally we are so ready, we both love children. Its so hard in today's economy to support a family, its very unfortunate.

JoanneAndJustin Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

We are hoping for a honeymoon baby! I'll be 35 when we get married and we want more than one. We may adopt older children too, if we have the finances for it.

BAL5-9-05 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

I think everybody is different.....we're an 'older' couple (I'm 37 he's 46) & he has 3 teens already. We're going for 1 child....So, waiting is not for us....right after the HM I'll come off the BC
Celeste617 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

We're not sure yet if we want to take the kids route. We have been together for a fairly long time (will be 10 years by the time of the wedding) and neither one of us has having a child as a top priority. Not to say we don't love children - he would be a wonderful father and I absolutely ADORE spending time with his nieces and nephew. However, it's nice to be able to say goodnight and go do our own thing, leaving the parents to deal with any hassles! I'm 30 and FH is almost 29 - unfortunately, we have only really begun to really live our lives recently. We want to travel and we're both very career oriented and we've said that unless I feel that clock kick in, we'll have the discussion when I'm 33 (don't want to wait TOO long!) But if we do end up having children, we'd only want one.

Kricket212 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

Well ladies, I am one of the older ones here.....so we will try next year 2009....I hope it's the magic year for us.
I have baby fever too!!
SummerBride10 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

We're prob. going to wait 2 years or so. Hopefully no longer than that.
hogie2be Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

we want to wait to have kids until a few years in with financial stability (maxed out payscale teachers) and marriage time but...

I have a lot of career related plans and we are struggling with when I can have kids and still succeed career wise... FH has reservations.. he loves kids like I do but said he would be willing to have only 1 to accomodate my career plans but 1 is not even a question for me- it is 3+...I will dedicate so much of me and my time to my kids and husband but I want them to have a role model and be proud of me too!
MrsBtobe2009 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

FH and I have agreed that we are going to try for a HM baby. He would then be 32 and I would be 28.

MyLobster Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

We are waiting about an hour after the wedding
CantWait2BMrsD Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

We originally were gonna try 4 a HM baby but we both decided 2 wait 1 year so we can enjoy being married. I'm 30 & FH is 31.

Deeglasser Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

FH wants a soccer team but i think that's a little crazy...
we probably will wait about 6months... i'll be 31 when we get married and FH will be 33... i don't want to wait much longer after after that
Hawks Nest Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

I can understand wanting to wait. Maybe he is just overwhelmed right now. Me and fh decided to wait until we at leat wait to see where we want to live(we cant decide between NY and NC). Hopefully within the next 2 years. I am 30 and really do not want to wait to long.

JSG10506 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

As a mother already, I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting and doing all of the things you dream about doing BEFORE you have children. Once you do have children, it isn't impossible tod to do the things you want, but it definitely does become harder to achieve. That being said, 8 years does seem like a bit much, and I have to say, his opinion will probably change especially when his friends start having kids. A lot of men I think are afraid to become fathers as much as they're afraid to settle down and get married and give such an insane amount of time when you ask 'when do you want to.....'....they get cold feet. It's a huge resposibility, as if you needed me to tell you that lol, and sometimes it's hard for people to figure out how to take care of someone else that's helpless when they don't feel settled in life just yet. I will also tell you this, if you wait until you are ready to have children, you will never be ready; there will ALWAYS be a reason why tomorrow will be better than today.

FH & I have a four year old little boy; Gavin is by far the best thing that has EVER happened to us and our biggest accomplishment ever. I honestly cannot imagine my life without him here. We are hoping to try for another shortly after getting married to give Gavin a brother or sister before there is a huge age gap between them.
nycgirl79 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until

We aren't sure if we do want kids. While we love all of our 'nieces' and 'nephews,' we're just not sure if parenthood is something we want for ourselves. I just turned 29 and hubby just turned 30, and we've been together for almost 9.5 years. If for some reason we do change our minds, we still have plenty of time (gdwilling of course!).

BAL5-9-05 Posted:

Re: How long are you waiting until


Posted by tj2008

we're planning to start next summer, so we'll have our first child in 2010, and then we'll be adopting. We just want to have one biological and the rest we'll adopt.



I Commend you for that! That's really great!

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