How long after you are married will you and you fh have kids? Have the two of you talked about it yet? My fh and I talked about it and he thinks he wants to wait to have kids (like maybe 8 years). He wants to travel and do things while we are still young. I want to travel and do things too but I don't want to wait 8 years to have kids. I can see waiting maybe at most two or three years but not 8 years after you are married. I am 27 years old. I want a family. I want two or three kids. He wants no more then two. We have had this talk before and he said to me he wants to have a family with me he just never told me he wanted to wait such a long time to have a family. I am a little upset about it but what can I do. He never did say he didn't want kids he just said he wants to wait to have kids. He would make such a great father so I have no idea what he is so worried about if that is what it is.My fh is great with kids and he has such a big heart. I love him with all my heart and I want to have a family with him. I have always wanted to have a family and be a Mom. I just don't want to wait to long and I loose that chance.
eoconnell09
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Re: How long are you waiting until
I understand wanting to wait to have children. My FH and I feel the same way, however I think that 8 years is a really long time to wait. You two definitely need to talk about that a little bit further and you need to express your concerns with this.
Truth is, no matter when you plan to have them, it could happen sooner or it could happen later.....we don't really have full control over that.
My FH and I want to wait 3 years so that we can enjoy our marriage first but we really want a family....best of luck to you!
Shelleybean11
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Re: How long are you waiting until
I'm sorry that he just conveyed this to you now. 8 years does seem a bit long. I don't think that your life ends when you have kids, IMO that 's when it begins.... It is nice to have some married time with just the two of you too. FH and I are going to TTC right away... but I will be 31 in 3 weeks so we don't have much time I hope you guys are able to come to a compromise that works for you both!
pa56
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Re: How long are you waiting until
I am 32 and my DH is 37. We both want kids but we also want to enjoy marriage and each other for awhile so it's a dilemma. Hopefully, I'll be pregnant within 1-2 years.
RockysGirl
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Re: How long are you waiting until
me & FH have talked about that issue a lot. We both definitely want kids, but not yet. Actually HE wants kids right away, for me I am sooo not ready to devote my life to children just yet. Our hopeful time frame right now is at LEAST 2 years. I'm 23 right now and I want 3 children. So I figure that if i begin in 2 or 3 years, my last child would be born when i'm in my early 30's. I don't want to be having a baby any later than that. It depends on how many children you want tho. Waiting 8 years could be rough, depending on that. But honestly, women are having kids later in life than they used to. But like I said, it depends on how many you both are thinking of having, cause if it's more than one or two, you might need to start earlier. That's just my opinion, at least.
If you're not happy with waiting that long, I hope you two are able to discuss it. It's not fair for him to make you wait that long if you're heart is really set on having children sooner. I hope some kind of compromise can be met. Me & FH definitely compromised - he wanted to get me pregnant right there on the honeymoon and i wanted to wait like 4 or 5 years.. we settled on just holding off about 2 instead
krislee316
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Re: How long are you waiting until
we are hoping for a honeymoon baby!!!! we have been together for over 10 yrs so we are very ready.
kirstenjk
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Re: How long are you waiting until
We are planning on waiting at least one year before trying for a baby. I don't want to wait much longer than that because we are in our 30's.
SoonToBeMrsScott
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Re: How long are you waiting until
year or 2 but i am late 2 weeks so I hope I am not now not ready
DnT2010
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Re: How long are you waiting until
as soon as i have tenure (teacher) its go time!!
MrsList09
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Re: How long are you waiting until
I would have a honeymoon baby but we're both in school so it's better for us for the baby to be born in the summer when school is out and my job slows down so we're waiting until September to start trying.
My sister has been married for 3 and a half years and she's not in a rush to have kids at all. They're just enjoying marriage. But he was also in the Navy and they spent a lot of time away from each other up until recently with the Navy and his job so they have some time to make up for.
Autumnbride03
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Re: How long are you waiting until
Lol I think if it were up to FH he wouldn't even wait to be married first, he wants kids NOW. So he obviously wants to asap. He claims he's getting 'too old' (he's 26!)
I would want to wait 3-4 years, I'm only 22, I'm too selfish to have kids right now! So I *think* we've compromised waiting at LEAST one year if not two. FH probably is still going to try to change my mind lol.
kat124
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Re: How long are you waiting until
I think its all relative. Each couple is different and you have to make compromises. Think of how old you are when you married, and how long you've been together.
I have been with Dh for 10 yrs, married in court 5 and 2 moths by the church. We will start in about a yr and a half, so in total i waited about 7 yrs after we got married. I was 20 when we got married in court.
Like I said its all relative, but unless you come to a compromise, say middle ground, perhaps wait 5 yrs, but you have only 2 kids (otherwise execpect many arguemtns )
we want them right now...lol i am 31 and he is 35 so its different for us. right now we are renting a 1br apt to save for a house and of course in a perfect world i would want a house first...BUT in this economy I may have to wait a bit longer then we wanted to have the house... Plus..fh says..the baby always sleeps in our room for the first few months to a year anyway..LOL wow..I thought i was the one pushing for a baby! honestly...the quicker the better...if i keep saying wait for this..wait for that...it would never happen....plus...we have traveled and i plan to continue to do so with my kids at some point.... We have dated for 4 years so we dont feel like we have to 'enjoy' a marriage for a few years without kids...we have so looked foward to starting a family that its all we talk about sometimes! after the wedding we wont 'try' right away...but I do plan on going off the pill to let my body get back to the regular swing of things....
on another note...a negative one...i cant speak for all but I know sooo many women my age..younger and older that have had trouble conceiving...that have tried for years...that scares the crap out of me...if God forbid I have that issue..i want to know now...not 5 years from now....
tj2008
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Re: How long are you waiting until
we're planning to start next summer, so we'll have our first child in 2010, and then we'll be adopting. We just want to have one biological and the rest we'll adopt.
Opera_Ghost
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Re: How long are you waiting until
We've decided to not have children, but at some point we will have to decide when to tell our hopefuly parents that want become grandparents LOL.
We just aren't the parenting type and we want to do a lot of traveling, have financial stability & be able to have freedom to go & do what we want.
Dee0522
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Re: How long are you waiting until
We always said we would wait around 3 years after we got married. I am 30 and DH is 29, so we have time, and like a few other girls said, we want to travel and enjoy being together just the two of us for a while first. Plus, even at 30, I still don't feel ready at ALL! I just went to a baby shower for my 21-yr-old cousin and I'm not even kidding, HALF of her friends already have kids!! It totally freaked me out how they could all be so ready, or at least think they are, and here I am, 9 years older and I can't even think about it! Right now I am still way too selfish to have a child. I value my free time and sleep too much!!
Mrs. Bernabe
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Re: How long are you waiting until
Posted by Opera_Ghost
We've decided to not have children, but at some point we will have to decide when to tell our hopefuly parents that want become grandparents LOL.
We just aren't the parenting type and we want to do a lot of traveling, have financial stability & be able to have freedom to go & do what we want.
wow, I respect that, but how old are you? Do you think you guys might change your minds down the road after you have traveled and lived your life. I used to say that I didn't want kids but that was when I was like 18 yrs old DH and I spoke about it and we dont want kids for another 3 to 5 yrs. We want to finish school and start a new career, so its tough to have children when you have so many plans, but I think there is a time where you'll long for kids. Everyone is different and may mean what they say and like I said I respect that, but other change their minds after a couple of yrs. GL to those who are TTC.
2009wedding
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Re: How long are you waiting until
Thank you ladies for your imput. I wouldn't have a problem with waiting two or three years to have children to give us time to save money, do things together and to enjoy being married but waiting 8 years I don't like that. I want kids 2 or 3 years after we are married. We have been together for almost 5 years now. I am ready to move forward with our life together. I want a family with him. I know we would be blessed with having two children and being parents.I love children and I always wanted to have kids after I am married. I am willing to meet half way and wait two or three years and only have two kids as long as I do not have to wait 8 years. You can still do things together when you have a family. I remember growing up traveling and doing family trips. I am hoping that he will agree with me and say that waiting 2 or 3 years is fine. I hope he will come around. He would make such a great Dad
SFAR89
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Re: How long are you waiting until
Until we are ready. I am sure FH will never want kids, and the way I feel right now, I don't want kids either. I think maybe it just comes with age.
Your body starts to change as you get older, and you start to get ready for childern (physically) , so I think its just natural for some women to turn around and say 'oh okay, well I want them now'.
I do however, think you should talk to him about this. Don't really think about age. That will kill you if you worry about how old you are going to be when they are 10/ 20/30. Really think about if you will be ready to handle children. Financially/physically/mentally.
I mean, why '8' years? I am sure maybe in 3-4 years he may change his mind.
Once you start living together and the whole married thing sets in, you start to think about children more I would think, see if that happens maybe?
Opera_Ghost
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Re: How long are you waiting until
Posted by Mrs. Bernabe
Posted by Opera_Ghost
We've decided to not have children, but at some point we will have to decide when to tell our hopefuly parents that want become grandparents LOL.
We just aren't the parenting type and we want to do a lot of traveling, have financial stability & be able to have freedom to go & do what we want.
wow, I respect that, but how old are you? Do you think you guys might change your minds down the road after you have traveled and lived your life. I used to say that I didn't want kids but that was when I was like 18 yrs old DH and I spoke about it and we dont want kids for another 3 to 5 yrs. We want to finish school and start a new career, so its tough to have children when you have so many plans, but I think there is a time where you'll long for kids. Everyone is different and may mean what they say and like I said I respect that, but other change their minds after a couple of yrs. GL to those who are TTC.
We're both 25. I've just never been the type to think kids are cute and he had to raise his sister who is al ot younger than him cause mom & (step) dad where barely around (and even when they were there they suck as parents).
