How long is too long for an engagement?

We are now thinking of sometime in 2006 since FI wants to invite everyone on the initial guest list. There is no definite date for 2006.

After meeting my family in VA this weekend when FI went down to ask my parents for my hand in marriage, FI wants to invite everyone to our wedding.

I had him down to about 120 - 130 but now we are back to 194. It was 192 but a cousin of his called him to ask if she and her husband can get an invitaiton too. I had totally cut off all first cousins on my side.

The funny thing is he only told like 4 people. LOL LOL His aunt spread the news to everyone I think. I know he told one of his 3 brothers and mentioned it to another brother (wo he plans to ask to be best man).

So, now that means my $15K budget, which I was already over, now needs to be like $23K -25K.

FI and I talked about it and he said we should wait until 2006 now so we can save up since he put what could have been contributed to the wedding budget toward my ring. Not that I'm complaining. LOL LOL FI said he'd rather see that money on my hand forever than to spend it on one day. We are still visiting halls so we can get pricing and have a realistic budget and know what we need to save.

So, finally my question is how long of an engagement is considered too long? I'm no spring chicken either. LOL LOL Two years seems normal, right?

Also, FI is not one to make payments or use credit cards. If he does not have the money, he is not buying anything....which means no contracts will be signed with any vendor until every penny is in the bank.

Re: How long is too long?

I dont think there is a time limit at all. Not everybody has money at their disposal to have a wedding right away. I have plenty of people making fun of me and my 18 month engagement and I tell them if you would like to pay for it I can have it tomorrow.

2006 is really not that far away! In fact 2005 is too close! There are tons of 2006 brides on this board - they have their own threads and GTG too.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

I don't think 2006 is too long. My FH and I will be engaged for close to 3 years when we get married next oct.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

I don't think any time is too long. Each couple has to do what's right for themselves. My friend was engaged for over 3 years by the time she got married. Good luck!

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

There is no time limit. You do it when you are ready

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

2 years is fine. That's how long we'll be engaged at the time of our wedding. It was actually supposed to be 2006 - a 3 year engagement, but we decided that we didn't want to wait that long...

It's a personal decision for every couple

You could always do a early 2006 wedding - it wouldn't be much later than you had planned, but would allow you a few more months to save. Good luck with your decision!

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

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Posted by kdrainey
So, finally my question is how long of an engagement is considered too long? I'm no spring chicken either. LOL LOL Two years seems normal, right?

Also, FI is not one to make payments or use credit cards. If he does not have the money, he is not buying anything....which means no contracts will be signed with any vendor until every penny is in the bank.

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As a fellow non-spring chicken i would take into account all the other things you want to do after the big day and weigh those long term financial goals vs. $$ spent on one day. DH and i must postpone the purchase of a home due to the money spent on the wedding. It won't take us too long to come up with additional funds, but if it took more than 2 years to do so we would have reconsidered our wedding budget.

Our engagement was a year and a half - to each his/her own! No 'rules'

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

I honestly don't think there is a time limit on engagement...A wedding is not a cheap thing plus all the expenses that come after marriage (ie where you are going to live) My FH & I are getting married March 31, 2006, which is really only 1 year & 5 months! We actually will be just shy of being engaged 2 years....I will be 26 when we get married...

We set 2006 because we want to purchase a home in addition to paying for our entire wedding...It is all a personal preference, but don't think 2006 is too far off! There are tons of us 2006 brides on here! We are all here for you!

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

I don't believe there is a set answer to this question. Whatever is right for you, your FI, and your finances is just long enough.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

Thanks everyone. I already own my coop and FI will move in with me at some point before the wedding. Right now mortgage and down payment are not an issue, however, we do want a house soon - maybe NJ.

I think we will go with 2006 unless FI hits lotto soon. LOL LOL

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

go for it i was enaged for 7 years, but I didn't start planning until two years ago.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

By the time I get married in 2006, we'll have been engaged for about 28 months. While I would have loved to get married quicker, financies are forcing us to push it out to 2006 - since the entire day will be on us. I don't think it's too long - I just plan to use the time wisely and investigate all my options - and hopefully find other ways I can get creative and save money.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

We'll be engaged very clsoe to 3 years! 2 years, 11 mos! and we were dating 4.5 years before we even got engaged! So everyone ahs thier own timeline. Will people make comments? absolutely. Should you care? Nope. We need the time to raise the money, and also to work out all of the differences we ahve and really be mentally and emotionally prepared for the wedding. I'm really glad to have the extra time, and now that I have just over 2 years left, it's already starting to fly! I'm wondering where the last 9 months went!

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

Our engagement was for 1 1/2 year (18 months.

Engaged: February 14, 2001 Valentine's Day
Married: August 24, 2002

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

There is no time limit. People are going to give you a hard time about it, but just brush it off. I got engaged this May and I'm not getting married until April or August of 2006. My reasons: 1) I need to save money so I'm not in debt afterwards, 2) I want to take the time to really plan it out and get exactly what I want out of my special day.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

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Posted by kdrainey

I think we will go with 2006 unless FI hits lotto soon. LOL LOL

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I hear you. I play MegaMillions every week. I'm getting closer. Actually got 3 numbers last week.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

I don't think there is ever a limit on an engagement. My sister's best friend has been engaged since 2001 and is getting married in 2005. Had to save for a house and wedding. But be prepared for everyone and their mother to ask why you are waiting so long. That is what she says is the most annoying about a long engagement.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

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Posted by rrdm782004

go for it i was enaged for 7 years, but I didn't start planning until two years ago.

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Wow!! 7 years engaged. I can imagine how people must have reacted. I want to set a date but I also don't want to have to start shelling out money for deposits - and FI is not into payments plans at all.

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

we oringally planned for a 3 year engagement...upon a month or so into that process...we broke down and said thats way too long...we have already been together for 5 years... +3 (engagement) would of made it 8

money was our main issue but we play our cards right, we can still do the wedding we want, in two years...

yes..along the same line of bugdet as your 25k

Re: How long is too long for an engagement?

There is no set answeer to your question. Whatever is best for you. It depends upon every couple's circumstance. I know I didn't want to be engaged for more than a year but then again I'm 34 and he's 36, we want to have children and we are getting up there, we have some money saved, I'm a teacher so it has to be in the summer... for all of those reasons summer of 2005 was right for us. Actually, if I had a longer spring recess this academic year I probably would have gotten married this coming April.

Do what's comfortable for you.