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Wedding Forums > Brides Helping Brides ™ > How many???
How many???
WishCandy
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 12:49 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 12:49 PM
How many???
How many of you guys either brought or are bringing your FI's mom with you when you go looking for your dress? My FI is fighting with me because he said I have to and I don't want to - First off she has a big mouth and I don't want everyone knowing what my dress looks like before they see me in it on that day. And also, because I would like to surprise her a lil' on that day. Do you think I'm wrong?
Lmissb
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 12:53 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 12:53 PM
Re: How many???
I just went for my dress. Luckily I found my dress in two weeks. The first time I brought my mother, the second time I brought my aunt, like a 2nd opinion.I'm like you, I don't want anyone seeing my dress before the big day, so no I woudn't bring my FMIL, although mine lives out of state
zac1228
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 12:54 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 12:54 PM
Re: How many???
I did not bring her because she lives far away, but I did send her a picture of me in my gown to try to include her. My SIL did not bring my mom, but did show her a picture of it out of a magazine. It's really just a personal preference I think. But you FH should not force you to bring her if you don't want to. It should be your choice because it is your gown.
evelynrtorres
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 12:54 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 12:54 PM
Re: How many???
My FMIL came with me bacuase my real mom is deceased. She was really sweet & helpful. I guess it depends on your relationship with her but I'm sure you don't want to start off on the wrong foot. Honestly we both couldn't remember what the dress looked like after we ordered it & it took them several months to make it so.....If it means a lot to her, why not?
mickeya1a
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:01 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:01 PM
Re: How many???
no way!!!I didn't show her a pic until last minute.....
wedbabe
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:07 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:07 PM
Re: How many???
NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted it to be a surprize also. If her son can't see me, either can she. (And believ me, I'd rather just show him. Let's just say she's difficult-lol!) Besides, it's a special bond thing for a mother and daughter to experience together.
Ronnie&Theresa
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:08 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:08 PM
Re: How many???
Get this.. She has 4 boys and she got married young..She seems to be hardened as she got older...
I gave her some of my old Coach and Fendi bags that I don't use anymore and she was like OH thanks...
Then I sent her FED EX a bunch of new pics of us and she doesn't even call to say thanks.......
We JUST started speaking to them after a year of no contact!!
I would rather not speak to her EVER.. HELP!
michele31
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:13 PM+

michele31
MEMBER SINCE: 6/01
TOTAL POSTS : 10673
WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002
WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:13 PM
Re: How many???
You NEVER have to bring your FMIL gown shopping. In fact you don't HAVE to bring your own mother, although that is customary.Tell your FH he can take his mom to look at tuxs with him.
Jenny5150
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:15 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:15 PM
Re: How many???
I wish I had brought my FMIL with me and my mom.
She has 3 sons, no daughters.My FH didn't want me to ask her because that meant his father would drive down with his mom and he would have to spend his Saturday entertaining his dad. Kevin likes to work on & around the house on his weekends and his father isn't like that.
I'm thinking about asking her to come along for a fitting.
WishCandy
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:17 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:17 PM
Re: How many???
wow... ok, well I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one. I like wedbabe - want it to be a mom and daughter thing. Let's just say this didn't fly with him and was like well my mom thinks of you as a daughter, blah blah blah. But, I feel that dil is totally different than an actual daughter - and believe me she treats me as dil and NOT a daughter (lol) which doesn't bother me, but just so you guys know when we first got engaged I ripped out pics of dresses that I luv-ed and she starting giving me crap from the beginning that I wasn't having it made -like her daughter did. And how, she couldn't believe that I wanted a strapless - 'you need to have some kind of sleeve'. ... This is just another reason I don't want her coming with. I have enough difficulty from her regarding the wedding - I feel like this is one thing that would stress-free regarding her.
WishCandy
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:18 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:18 PM
Re: How many???
hahaha - thanks michelle31 - I'll tell him that
dubliner
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:19 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:19 PM
Re: How many???
I brought my FMIL, and I knida regret it. When I was with her I found a dress I really liked, and found a store near me which I brought the BM with me to see the dress. My own mom lives in Ireland, and I waited until I had the second opinion before I called her, just in case I changed my mind.When I called my mom to tell her, she already knew...my FMIL called her to discuss their dresses, and said that I found one that I looked beautiful in. I was very disappointed, and annoyed at my FMIL. I know it was not intentional, but it still hurt. There's not a lot my mom can share in, and when there is something to tell, I would to be the one telling. In fact I considered finding a different dress, but liked this one too much
Also, a couple of days after I saw the dress with my FMIL, I got an email from her, telling me she found in on the internet, printed a copy on the color printer, and was about to sent it to my mom!!!!
Anyway, my suggestion would be to bring her to an alteration / fitting when the time comes. Someone suggested that to me and I wish I had done it
dkga1026
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:21 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:21 PM
Re: How many???
you are 100% right......you should go with someone close to you to pick out a dress.....and i totally know what you mean about the surprise thing....just say that you don't want anyone else to see your dress until the day....
wedbabe
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:22 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:22 PM
Re: How many???
Stand your ground on this one, it sounds like she's very opinionated and could turn it into an ugly experience for you. Get what you want and do what you want. Tell your FH exactly how you feel, and that this is something special that you would like to share with just your mother, and that's it. Remember, it should be a wonderful exciting experience, not one filled of dread and anxiety!Good luck.
WishCandy
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:36 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:36 PM
Re: How many???
Thanks girls for all the wonderful advice! I'll keep you posted - if my fi or his mom aggrivate me anymore about this topic. lol
michele31
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:40 PM+

michele31
MEMBER SINCE: 6/01
TOTAL POSTS : 10673
WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002
WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:40 PM
Re: How many???
You could take her with you and try on ONLY hideous gowns that are just awful and pretend that you LOVE them. At least it would be good for a laugh.
Karen62794
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:43 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:43 PM
Re: How many???
I brought my FMIL dress shopping. Dave is her only child and since she would never get the opportunity to do this, I thought it would be nice to bring her along.I get along very well with her, so it was great o bring her. I also brought her to catering halls and my mom is bringing her to restaurants for my shower.
WishCandy
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:48 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:48 PM
Re: How many???
LMAO - Michele31 - you are too much! =)~Karen62794 - I wish I had a better relationship with her, but she is one of the most difficult people. Her opinion is the right & only opinion and that it. Believe me, if circumstances were different - maybe I'd want her to come. But, I think that I would want it to be a surprise no matter what, ya know? Plus, I do want it to just be my mom and I - and it's not like she didn't already do this stuff with her daughter.
MarcellaBella
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:49 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:49 PM
Re: How many???
At first I wanted to bring fh's mother, but you know what, she has a 19 year old daughter and one day she will be able to go with her. I didn't want her to run my mom's show or ruin this important moment for my mom..besides, even though I showed her a variation of the dress, I want her to be surprised and completely taken away when she sees me in my dress!!!
blushingbride2003
Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:55 PM+

Posted: Sep 24, 2002 01:55 PM
Re: How many???
I didn't ask my FH's mom. I did bring his sister but we were looking for BM dresses that day as well. I also want everyone to be surprised and I think having my mom there was more than enough. I did show her a picture of my dress but it doesn't do it justice. My FMIL will have the chance with her own daughter.Welcome New Vendors
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