How many guests do you think cover their plates in gifts?
Original post by bethsiar
FSIL is trying to figure out how she is going to pay for school loans, car loans and now the wedding. She asked me if she could make the budget with the plan that people will essentially pay for the reception themselves. The plate charge will be around 100. Do you think this is a reasonable assumption or insane?
lesleyw
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Re: How many guests do you think cover their plates in gifts?
Just to let you know, we didn't come close to covering our catering cost in cash gifts. I don't think you can plan on that. My advice is to pick a less expensive place. I'm sure she's not going to want to have the stress of counting on gifts that may or may not come in, in order pay her vendors on her wedding day.
JimmysBride
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This is insane. I wouldn't even dream of budgeting my wedding this way. I don't understand what she plans to do? Charge the reception and then pay it off afterwards with the gift money? I don't even think reception sites accept charges as final payment. Most require a check or cash. I understand that she's only trying to cover the cost of the reception (not the whole wedding) but even still, most halls require full payment well before the day of. How will she pay for it if she counting on gift money?
Anyway, aside from all that, yes, while most people will give around $100 as a gift, that won't include tax & tip. In order for a $100 gift to truly cover a plate, she will have to get a hall that is charging her around $75pp. And she will have plenty of people give far less and some won't give a gift at all. I don't know if this is normal, but I've noticed in alot of weddings that I've been to or been in, the bridal party doesn't give a gift. If she has a 12 person BP and none of them give a gift, that's well over $1200 of reception costs right there that will go unncovered.
Sorry for the bad news!!
Maribelle7777
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insane.
especially if you have guests that give gifts and not money.
tourist
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Bridal parties don't give a gift? Is that normal? I did in the 2 I was in?
bethsiar
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I have never heard of a bridal party not giving gifts. In fact, I was under the impression that you give a more extravagent (sp?) gift when your a BM. For the wedding I was in, I gave double (would have tripled if I could afford it) what I usually give.
dawnie
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I never heard of the bridal party not giving gifts..I always give more!
steph4777
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I don't expect my BP to give us a gift. By being in the wedding I am asking them to put out a lot of money. Of course you do it bc it's your friend and you are honored, but it's still a lot of money. Especially if they have to travel.
I was the MOH at my friend's wedding last year and I spent well over a 1,500 by the time I was done paying for the attire (dress, hair, nails, shoes, etc..), travel, hotel, rental car, shower gift and shower expenses.
KarenK122
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I have never heard of the BP not giving gifts. I always have.
I think that is a pretty safe assumption if all your guests come from this area that they will give you about $100 a person. Some might give more and some might give less but it balances out.
butterfly20
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it really varies... i think its safe to assume at least $100 from a couple, and on average $200 +... some people may give less, but people like grandparents and such may give higher amounts that balance it out...
Tammy5-03
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It really depends but I wouldn't count on it. I didn't make anything close but I didn't really expect to. I had a lot of guests who are not from this area and that really makes a huge difference. I also have plenty of non-monetary gifts. Of course it would be nice but if your friend cannot afford the wedding otherwise, I would not recommend it. Its not like you can go back to the guests and say you have to give more, I have a lot of bills.
Sage10.03
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I wouldn't count on it.... It's possible when you are speaking about catering costs alone...but it's not something I would bank on. AT ALL.
As for the BP giving gifts.... When I am in someone's wedding, I usually will give MORE b/c it's obviously a close friend or family. I have never heard of a BP not giving gifts.....
sweetnessconfused
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People DO NOT cover their plates. I recently had my e-party and certain people were REALLY cheap. I received a crystal bowl from his sister and her fiance that is worth $50 retail. (Oh and she is in my BM)! My e-party was at Russo and as you all know that is not cheap. His cousin's gave me a set of 4 wine glasses from the 2 of them worth $30. Pathetic. His mother FMIL) always says that well when you plan an event just bc you want to spend so much a plate doesn't mean I have to put it in the envelope. I give what I can. Total bull****!
Good luck.
nrvbrd
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Sorry, but no way.
I did not make back the money I spent, nor did I expect to.
tourist
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your mom's kinda right, sweetnessconfused, just because someone can aford to have a fancy wedding doesn't mean I can afford to give more, but if you can, it would be nice.
I think people assume if you picked a fancy place, then its beacuse you have the money too. Although, I wouldn't want to be known as teh cheap guest, so I would try & give more if I could.
I also try & keep a standard amount to be fair to friends & my personal budget, (although someone told me to allow for inflation )but if it is someone closer or if they are close to both me & my fiance, we try & give more than if I dragged him to a co-worker wedding.
its also easy to feel jealous of people who aren't paying for it themselves, but I try not to let that affect my gift giving. . .
julz33
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I am hoping to make most of my money back. I am spending about $100 a head, and that is the total including everything! (plate,photo,video,flowers,limo, etc). Even if people only give $50 each, we will make 1/2 of our money back...but I know for a fact that my FMIL & FFIL are giving us a big gift and so are my mom and grandparents.
sarahthegreat
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It seems like you are treating your wedding as a fund raiser for yourself. WE all know weddings are expensive, I'm planning mine for 2006 for that reason alone. I don'e expect to have people pay for it, there are some that will be generous but that makes up for those who cannot afford to give money. We are going to have what we can afford, not what we think people will give us in the envelopes.
JimmysBride
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Posted by dawnie
I never heard of the bridal party not giving gifts..I always give more!
So do I, but I've been a BM in BPs where I turned around and realized that NO ONE ELSE gave a gift but ME!! I thought it was ridiculous but it happens more than you may think. Sometimes the BP thinks their gift is BEING in the BP....(meaning they paid for their own gown, tux, etc).
I always give a gift but believe me, I've seen large BPs where none of them give a gift. Unfortunately, I know not to expect gifts from AT LEAST half my BP And not because they can't afford it, but because they are clueless. Eh, I love 'em all anyway and I would never tell them they are 'supposed to' give a gift.
karen32
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if we budgeted our wedding with the assumption that people would cover their plates, we would be in big trouble. i think that is a very dangerous way to do things.
june262004
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Posted by CIMINOK
Karen, you're getting married at the swan club and youre paying over a 100 a head? i got quoted 55.00 a head there.
Thats cause ure date is in Oct. Karen and my date are May and June when all the flowers are in bloom and we can use the outdoor facilites!
