How much are you willing to spend on your wedding..?

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Posted by bluegreen08

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Posted by Espo22

it depends on you, everyone has different finances so as long as youre comfortable with it then thats what matters. But by your post it seems like youre not comfortable with it. ALSO, i wouldnt do a budget on assumptions of what things MAY cost. Wait until you book a place and book appointments with vendors.

If youre having 80 guests then i dont see your flower budget being $4k. Even if you get high cp's that are expensive which would be about $175-200 per centerpiece, thats $1400-1600 since you would have 8-10 tables at the RH. And if cp's would cost you 1400-1600 then theres no way that personal flowers would be over 2k.

Some people spend alot of money and are ok with this decision, so theres no way to say what someone 'SHOULD' spend, its based on an individual bases. As long as you can afford and wont put you in debt. But if you feel it will put you in debt, then you need to figure out what to splurge on and what to cut back on.

As far as bm's make up. I didnt pay for their make up, only MOH and my mom. I did buy them gifts though for being in the bp. Its not something every bride does, infact most brides dont pay for it and only sometimes you'll see that as the gift to the bm's the bride will pay for this.

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We wrote almost the exact same thing at the same time

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i just noticed

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Posted by spark

Yes I have the tux , accessories, gifts, invistations + stamps covered and honeymoon is alreay paid for. I'm not having a videographer, no limo, no ring bearer or flower girl. I did my best to think of everything....but I didn't include the rehersal dinner...grr...another to add to list.

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do you think his parents would pay for it? Traditionally the parents of the groom pay for this BUT nobody has to stick to tradition anymore.

ALso, i just remembered youre having ceremony at the RH. If so then you dont need to do this actually. Rh's dont do rehearsals and if they do theyjust do a quick run through the day of the wedding

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Posted by spark

The reception is what's putting it over the top. It's 175pp. The photographer is about 3500. The Dj is 1300. String quartet is 1300. Flowers I don't have a number but its about 4000. I'm including everything-gifts for the bridal party & parents, the hotel stays for 2 nights, 2 rooms. All hair and makeup, the rings, invitations, officiant, veil and accessories and the dress alterations.

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IMHO...$175 pp is a lot!!! If you booked your Rh already then see which other things you can cut back on like flowers ($4000 is a lot-can you change some of the flowers out for less expensive ones, forgo the table card flower arrangement, cut something out?) and forgo the string quartet maybe? (the reason I am saying that is because you can have your DJ play the music for your CH and the processional and it won't cost nearly as much). Decide what's really important to you and then cut back on some of the other things.
GL!!!!

if you dont want to sacrifice anything (and it sounds like you dont) then you're going to have the higher budget unless you switch dates. if you are set on a saturday night in august as well, i'd recommend pushing the wedding back a year until you have the $$$ saved rather than taking out a loan, but in the end you need to do what you are comfortable with.

with all of your splurges i would say to reconsider the videographer -- doesnt have to be expensive but the day flies by so quickly and you dont want to regret not having one.

edit: my only other suggestion is to negotiate with everyone! if you dont feel comfortable doing so, bring someone with you who does. i'd also recommend the book 'You Can Negotiate Anything' -- it's probably $6 at Borders and it will start you off right

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Posted by spark

After getting all your feedback I've re-worked my numbers and I'm much better now. I'm coming in around 32K. I think I maybe able to reduce the menu and negotiate the price per head to 160pp. Then I think I should be under 3K. Whew~ you guys are so helpful!

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good luck and hope it all works out. Definitely try to negotiate the price with them.

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Posted by ace730

$175pp is a lot. We booked one of the priceir RH's and it is not costing over $150 and that is including tax and service charge.

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she probably added extras, VH hour can be expensive its $15 pp, if someone adds seafoood bar thats over $20pp, so extras can really up the price

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Posted by spark

Hi Ladies,

I've been cranking numbers all evening. I've lost all sense of reality. At this point, my budget has doubled what I originally started with. I wanted to have a nice small wedding and still be fairly inexpensive. I started with 20K total (everything included) for a guest list of 80. Now its doubled. What do I do...? I know its the most important day of our lives and I really want it to be special, but at the same time I don't want to be in debt after this day is over...I mean 40K could be a down payment on a house. What's a realistic number per head to spend on the reception???

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i think i have to agree that you've lost a total sense of a realistic cost for a wedding. i spent 20K and i had 175 people at my wedding and that 20K also included photo, video, band and all the other extras. for 80 people, you could easily spend less than 10K on a reception. i spent 12 K for 175 people. i suppose it depends on where you're having it, but even a place that's a 100 dollars a head would still only be approximately $8,000 for the reception only.

Well I originally set to have it at a reception hall that was 118pp. At the end of the day with tax, gratuity for everyone It was going to be 12,320.

The only problem is, the venue was just not right. I hated the ballroom so after talking it through with my mom, my FH and my moh, they all agreed (and all you guys on the board as well) that I should find something I love.

All the other RH's in that price range either had higher minimums- usually 120 guests or they wouldn't take us at all on sat evening.

The venue I have my heart set on is not a typical RH. That's why my budget has changed and i've done alot of thinking, I think its worth spending the extra if the venue is perfect. Both my FH and I are said this is the place.

We want a small, elegant wedding that is more contemporary. The RH's I've seen sets a certain kind of mood that is different.

I think we're going to have to increase the buget but it dosen't mean we're going to be in debt.

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Posted by spark

Well I originally set to have it at a reception hall that was 118pp. At the end of the day with tax, gratuity for everyone It was going to be 12,320.

The only problem is, the venue was just not right. I hated the ballroom so after talking it through with my mom, my FH and my moh, they all agreed (and all you guys on the board as well) that I should find something I love.

All the other RH's in that price range either had higher minimums- usually 120 guests or they wouldn't take us at all on sat evening.

The venue I have my heart set on is not a typical RH. That's why my budget has changed and i've done alot of thinking, I think its worth spending the extra if the venue is perfect. Both my FH and I are said this is the place.

We want a small, elegant wedding that is more contemporary. The RH's I've seen sets a certain kind of mood that is different.

I think we're going to have to increase the buget but it dosen't mean we're going to be in debt.

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you should do what you want and seems like you love this RH. If it wont put you in debt and are comfortable again go for it. If you have to cut back on other things then im sure you'll do so. Its your wedding, your money so as long as youre ok with the decision then that is all that matters.

You can probably cut back on some of your extras to bring your budget more in line. We used Vintage String Quartet. They were wonderful and the price was reasonable. FM me for details.

It is all about balancing your priorities. Splurge on some items and cut back on others. Focus on the things that matter most to you and your DH. Forget about some of the extras that you won't care about or remember in five years.

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Posted by Espo22

it depends on you, everyone has different finances so as long as youre comfortable with it then thats what matters. But by your post it seems like youre not comfortable with it. ALSO, i wouldnt do a budget on assumptions of what things MAY cost. Wait until you book a place and book appointments with vendors.

If youre having 80 guests then i dont see your flower budget being $4k. Even if you get high cp's that are expensive which would be about $175-200 per centerpiece, thats $1400-1600 since you would have 8-10 tables at the RH. And if cp's would cost you 1400-1600 then theres no way that personal flowers would be over 2k.

Some people spend alot of money and are ok with this decision, so theres no way to say what someone 'SHOULD' spend, its on an individual basis. As long as you can afford and wont put you in debt. But if you feel it will put you in debt, then you need to figure out what to splurge on and what to cut back on.

As far as bm's make up. I didnt pay for their make up, only MOH and my mom. I did buy them gifts though for being in the bp. Its not something every bride does, infact most brides dont pay for it and only sometimes you'll see that as the gift to the bm's the bride will pay for this.

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I agree totally. You don't have to go overboard in order to have a nice wedding. Just shop around to see who has the best deal. This way you don't go in the red too much. But I do think that $2500 is a bit much for a wedding band.

Yeah if you love the RH - go for it. . I felt the same way about mine. . spending too much for sure but I'm happy. where did you choose?
and sorry for the confusion about the band/band before. . .shouldnt read posts when I am tired

To answer the original question, I'm trying to stay under 25K for 80 people, all in.