How much are you willing to spend on your wedding..?

Hi Ladies,

I've been cranking numbers all evening. I've lost all sense of reality. At this point, my budget has doubled what I originally started with. I wanted to have a nice small wedding and still be fairly inexpensive. I started with 20K total (everything included) for a guest list of 80. Now its doubled. What do I do...? I know its the most important day of our lives and I really want it to be special, but at the same time I don't want to be in debt after this day is over...I mean 40K could be a down payment on a house. What's a realistic number per head to spend on the reception???

I think you should just figure out what is really important to you on that day. . like is it food, music, dress, and then things you don't need to splurge on, and then just stay firm on those. That way you can feel like you are being extravagant with some things and let go of others.

I noticed once i started spending then I just kept wanting to say . well I might as well spend on that. . so gotta know when to put on the brakes!!!!

RH is usually considered to be half of your budget, and the rest the other half. this isn't set in stone obviously, but it's some kind of guideline. Everything varies -- a Saturday night wedding in July will cost more than a Saturday afternoon wedding in January, different venues vary in price, dresses can range from the hundreds to $10k+

If you're trying to keep costs down, a small guest list is a good start -- a lot of places have set minimums that will often be lower for off-peak days and times, which also tend to be less expensive. Are you set on a particular date?

I agree with you and think that going into debt for a wedding is a bad idea. Better to pick a later date to give more time to save, or cut back but I wouldn't spend money you dont have.

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Posted by spark

The reception is what's putting it over the top. It's 175pp. The photographer is about 3500. The Dj is 1300. String quartet is 1300. Flowers I don't have a number but its about 4000. I'm including everything-gifts for the bridal party & parents, the hotel stays for 2 nights, 2 rooms. All hair and makeup, the rings, invitations, officiant, veil and accessories and the dress alterations.

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175pp will set you back, even with only 80 people. your list says 'still searching' -- did you pick a RH?

have you booked these vendors yet?

the easiest way to cut costs and keep everything else the same (same vendors, same hall, etc) is to switch the month you're getting married in. Not sure if that's an option for you -- we were set on August, but things are much cheaper in the winter or at a time other than Sat night

Also, even with those #s, you might be able to do it for $30k unless you are counting honeymoon in there too. You definitely could do it for $30k if you cut back in other areas.

I agree with the poster above -- decide what is impt to you and splurge there and cut back elsewhere. $4k on flowers is a lot, especially with only 80 people (probably 8 tables). We had double that and spent less than $4k on flowers.

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Posted by spark

The reception is what's putting it over the top. It's 175pp. The photographer is about 3500. The Dj is 1300. String quartet is 1300. Flowers I don't have a number but its about 4000. I'm including everything-gifts for the bridal party & parents, the hotel stays for 2 nights, 2 rooms. All hair and makeup, the rings, invitations, officiant, veil and accessories and the dress alterations.

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your cost for flowers seems way too high for an 80 person wedding. i'm paying $5,300 for flowers. each of my centerpiece's is $175 and we're having about 18 tables. that also includes BP flowers and the chuppah.

I think the budget on the flowers is high but I haven't really talk to a florist yet. So I guess half that is more realistic...?

The venue I'm considering does not allow amplified music outdoors that is why I had to extend the string quartet through cocktail hour otherwise I would only use them for the ceremony. I know the string quartet is expensive but I have my heart set on it.

The food, venue and flowers are all equally important. I'm about to book this place my FH and I both absolutely love.

i've included the hair and makeup for my BM's in my budget. Is that something usually covered by the bride or each BM??

Also my wedding band is going to be about 2500. So that number is included in the budget too.

honestly, it completely up to you if you are going to pay for the bm's hair and makeup..some do, some dont...just depends.

if you havent even talked to a florist yet, its almost impossible to say how much you will end up spending. but i would set a budget on each vendor that makes it so that you are under your overall budget. and then dont go over that set budget for each vendor.

if you are not willing to budge on the rh, then it will be almost impossible for your to decrease your budget.

i want to point out that you keep saying 'this is going to be included in the budget, this is going to be included in the budget'. when we talk about budget, EVERYTHING is included.

2500 for a wedding band is way too high.

i dont want to be critical but you cant complain about being overbudget when you're spending wayyyyy too much money on each thing. try to realize that this is just one day of your life. granted it is important, but it is one day.

you are going to need to compromise a few things if you want to stay under budget.

it depends on you, everyone has different finances so as long as youre comfortable with it then thats what matters. But by your post it seems like youre not comfortable with it. ALSO, i wouldnt do a budget on assumptions of what things MAY cost. Wait until you book a place and book appointments with vendors.

If youre having 80 guests then i dont see your flower budget being $4k. Even if you get high cp's that are expensive which would be about $175-200 per centerpiece, thats $1400-1600 since you would have 8-10 tables at the RH. And if cp's would cost you 1400-1600 then theres no way that personal flowers would be over 2k.

Some people spend alot of money and are ok with this decision, so theres no way to say what someone 'SHOULD' spend, its on an individual basis. As long as you can afford and wont put you in debt. But if you feel it will put you in debt, then you need to figure out what to splurge on and what to cut back on.

As far as bm's make up. I didnt pay for their make up, only MOH and my mom. I did buy them gifts though for being in the bp. Its not something every bride does, infact most brides dont pay for it and only sometimes you'll see that as the gift to the bm's the bride will pay for this.

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

honestly, it completely up to you if you are going to pay for the bm's hair and makeup..some do, some dont...just depends.

if you havent even talked to a florist yet, its almost impossible to say how much you will end up spending. but i would set a budget on each vendor that makes it so that you are under your overall budget. and then dont go over that set budget for each vendor.

if you are not willing to budge on the rh, then it will be almost impossible for your to decrease your budget.

i want to point out that you keep saying 'this is going to be included in the budget, this is going to be included in the budget'. when we talk about budget, EVERYTHING is included.

2500 for a wedding band is way too high.

i dont want to be critical but you cant complain about being overbudget when you're spending wayyyyy too much money on each thing. try to realize that this is just one day of your life. granted it is important, but it is one day.

you are going to need to compromise a few things if you want to stay under budget.

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it's only 'too much' if you can't afford it or dont think it's worth it to you. if you want to cut back on flowers there are many ways you can do it. even thinking high, if you say $200 for each centerpiece and have 8 tables, that's $1600... and maybe your flowers and the bridal party would bring you up to $2000. Add ceremony decorations and you're looking at maybe $2500 -- but you can also use your centerpieces as decorations during the ceremony to cut costs and maximize their use. that's on the high end... centerpieces could easily be $75-125 if you wanted, or you could DIY them for lots less.

Same with your ring -- if you went to a reputable jeweler in the diamond district or Turkan at Tri County you could probably get whatever ring you want custom made for a lot less than $2500 unless you're set on a name brand like Tiffany's.

You also dont need to pay for BM hair/makeup, it's not expected of you.

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Posted by Espo22

it depends on you, everyone has different finances so as long as youre comfortable with it then thats what matters. But by your post it seems like youre not comfortable with it. ALSO, i wouldnt do a budget on assumptions of what things MAY cost. Wait until you book a place and book appointments with vendors.

If youre having 80 guests then i dont see your flower budget being $4k. Even if you get high cp's that are expensive which would be about $175-200 per centerpiece, thats $1400-1600 since you would have 8-10 tables at the RH. And if cp's would cost you 1400-1600 then theres no way that personal flowers would be over 2k.

Some people spend alot of money and are ok with this decision, so theres no way to say what someone 'SHOULD' spend, its based on an individual bases. As long as you can afford and wont put you in debt. But if you feel it will put you in debt, then you need to figure out what to splurge on and what to cut back on.

As far as bm's make up. I didnt pay for their make up, only MOH and my mom. I did buy them gifts though for being in the bp. Its not something every bride does, infact most brides dont pay for it and only sometimes you'll see that as the gift to the bm's the bride will pay for this.

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We wrote almost the exact same thing at the same time

Thanks for all your input bluegreen08. I love the idea of using the center pieces during the ceremony as part of the decoration.

The ring is being made by the jeweler that made the E-ring. I was estimating how much it would cost by looking at some of the stock items he sells. My E-ring was custom made so the bands will match it. I think until I get the exact number I have to carry 2500 to be safe.

I think she was talking about her wedding band (like the ring) not a band (like music). But now that you said that, I'm not sure anymore.

OP, what did you mean?

thanks, clarified!

i would doubt that it will be that much....i'm getting my band custom also and it will only be a few hundred.

but i think the bottom line (bc it takes up so much of the budget) is that you will need to change your hall or change the day or time of year if you want to lower your budget.

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Posted by spark

The reception is what's putting it over the top. It's 175pp. The photographer is about 3500. The Dj is 1300. String quartet is 1300. Flowers I don't have a number but its about 4000. I'm including everything-gifts for the bridal party & parents, the hotel stays for 2 nights, 2 rooms. All hair and makeup, the rings, invitations, officiant, veil and accessories and the dress alterations.

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also, just so you know theres still ALOT of other things you have to budget for so keep that in mind. There are things that arent on your list. Have you budget for these things too:

honeymoon
tux
gm gifts
day of jewelry
will you pay for rehearsal dinner or someone else?
do you plan on having videography?
for invitations did you budget for stamps? even this can cost a few hundred, plus thank you cards
gifts for flower girl, ring bearer
are you having limo's, doesnt sound like it so probably dont need this.

theres always small things, again depends on what things you plan to do

cardbox
toasting flutes
cake knife and serving set
garter belt
ring bearer pillow(if youre having one)
and many more things.