How much are your girls paying for your BP (fixed poll)

My cousin just emailed me and told me she can't afford to come to my bachelorette party. Given, she lives OOT. . .but I was MOH in her wedding and went down to South Carolina for her 2 showers, I threw her BP in NY and paid for everything and spent the week before her wedding in SC helping her run errands and what not . . .

She's a BM in my wedding, didn't come to my shower and now she isn't coming to the BP either. I'm trying to remember that the world doesn't revolve around me and my wedding and that not everyone has the extra cash to throw around, but its so frustrating and upsetting because I did it ALL for hers.

I also have another BM whining that she doesn't understand why we have to take a limo into the city when we can just drive I am not planning the bachelorette party, another BM told me this.

I'm just so upset - I would never ever complain about the money if it was a friend's bachelorette party and I found a way to make it to SC for everything for my cousin. I'm just feeling really bad and was wondering how much your girls are spending on your BP (in total - even including a mild amount of drinking money for the night).

Thanks

I think mine was about $200-$250 per person- we did the one-night cruise to nowhere.

I am sorry that your cousin wont make it and I understand why you are upset and I think you are right- did you try talking to her about it.

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Posted by futuremrsfab

I think mine was about $200-$250 per person- we did the one-night cruise to nowhere.

I am sorry that your cousin wont make it and I understand why you are upset and I think you are right- did you try talking to her about it.

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Thanks marybeth I don't think there is any point in getting into it with her - its just like - you knew it was coming, you could have thought ahead. . .It was tight for me when I did it for her, but I figured out a way to make it work. I don't know, I guess I just kind of wanted to see if $275 was like a ridiculous amount of money for the night to cost

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Posted by MSeed

IDK how much mine is costing. I think the ticket was 125 and dinner is @ 60/70. I don't know what's going on with the limo that is Sharons department.

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Well, I know how much yours costs

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by futuremrsfab

I think mine was about $200-$250 per person- we did the one-night cruise to nowhere.

I am sorry that your cousin wont make it and I understand why you are upset and I think you are right- did you try talking to her about it.

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Thanks marybeth I don't think there is any point in getting into it with her - its just like - you knew it was coming, you could have thought ahead. . .It was tight for me when I did it for her, but I figured out a way to make it work. I don't know, I guess I just kind of wanted to see if $275 was like a ridiculous amount of money for the night to cost

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no its not a ridiculous amount of money for a bp at all and you are right, she should have known and prepared for it- especially if she is a bm. Dont worry you will have an amazing time and she is the one missing out

sorry about your cousin. i know it's very disappointing, but maybe her circumstances really don't allow her to come for the BP.

anyway, my BP was about $150-$200 pp. it was a very small gathering, and since my MOHs paid for my entire shower, i wanted to keep the cost as low as possible. i planned it, so we didn't do a limo since me and one BM were the only ones coming in from LI. also, i wanted some time with just me and my MOHs beforehand. then we did dinner and bar hopping. the more i think about it, it was probably much closer to $150.

ps, congrats on over 11lbs!! that's been updated, right?

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Posted by teenigrrl

sorry about your cousin. i know it's very disappointing, but maybe her circumstances really don't allow her to come for the BP.

anyway, my BP was about $150-$200 pp. it was a very small gathering, and since my MOHs paid for my entire shower, i wanted to keep the cost as low as possible. i planned it, so we didn't do a limo since me and one BM were the only ones coming in from LI. also, i wanted some time with just me and my MOHs beforehand. then we did dinner and bar hopping. the more i think about it, it was probably much closer to $150.

ps, congrats on over 11lbs!! that's been updated, right?

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Thanks Tina (yes the 11 pounds is current assuming I didn't gain too much this week LOL)

I'm not so much mad as I am disappointed. I just never contemplated missing those things for her, and I feel like she missed both my shower and my BP. I dont know, it just kinda stings. Maybe I can talk to my sister about going somewhere cheaper for dinner so its easier on the girls a bit.

Sorry Coleen

I agree with Tina -- It stinks that sometimes you give your ALL for someone and they can't do one thing for you when it comes time for your wedding. But we need to keep in mind that even if we spend $1000 on someone else, that doesn't ever mean that person will have it to spend on us. But that's also not why we do those things for other people and that's what it's about - giving and doing because you want to. I know you are like that and that's what you should remember, that you did it and you should feel good about it. She's probably feeling bad she can't do the same for you.

I have a good friend, my college roommate who lives in Vermont, who isn't coming to ANY wedding related things and it does hurt me a bit. She would have been in my bridal party had we not gone the 'MOH, best man only' route. She almost came to my shower and then last minute couldn't make it. She wanted to come to the BP, but can't. Then last week I got a letter and her NO rsvp saying she can't make the wedding. She works two jobs (7 days a week) and it's killing her, I know. But it still hurts. She picked her vacation week specifically so that it coincided with my wedding, and now her vacation time has changed. I kinda expected it, but it still stinks.

We did the SATC bus tour and that was 40 dollars
And then dinner was 20 a person so about 60 dollars and then whatever it cost them to get into the city


My girls didnt want to spend any money, and i was bummed, i am sure there are a few old posts about it

BUT...i got invited to a bachelorette party that is 3 nights away in the poconos with a spa day and I am going.
I splurged on the spa and am spending about $350 on trreatments because i want to be pampered!!! and i didnt get to do that for mine and i really wanted to!
So this bachelorrette party is costing me about $570 plus gas and tolls to get there.
But it could of been cheaper had i not gotten so many spa services

wow - you all spent a lot on your bachelorette parties! I'm definitely not gonna be going all out like that. I've been telling my Bridal Party to keep it simple. We can have a lot of fun without hurting our bank accounts. We just wanna be together, and we're actually pretty fun people as it is. lol.

But I just have to say about the original post, I don't think any of your Bridal Party should be complaining if you DO decide to go all out. Like getting a limo or tickets to whatever. I know that when i'm a part of a bridal party, even though I may be hoping it's not gonna cost too much, there's no way I'd ever complain to the bride if it does. I just grit my teeth, get a little stressed, and find a way to make it work.

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

Sorry Coleen

I agree with Tina -- It stinks that sometimes you give your ALL for someone and they can't do one thing for you when it comes time for your wedding. But we need to keep in mind that even if we spend $1000 on someone else, that doesn't ever mean that person will have it to spend on us. But that's also not why we do those things for other people and that's what it's about - giving and doing because you want to. I know you are like that and that's what you should remember, that you did it and you should feel good about it. She's probably feeling bad she can't do the same for you.

I have a good friend, my college roommate who lives in Vermont, who isn't coming to ANY wedding related things and it does hurt me a bit. She would have been in my bridal party had we not gone the 'MOH, best man only' route. She almost came to my shower and then last minute couldn't make it. She wanted to come to the BP, but can't. Then last week I got a letter and her NO rsvp saying she can't make the wedding. She works two jobs (7 days a week) and it's killing her, I know. But it still hurts. She picked her vacation week specifically so that it coincided with my wedding, and now her vacation time has changed. I kinda expected it, but it still stinks.

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You are right - I should probably just be happy that she is making it to the wedding, I'm just a little bummed and probably being a little selfish.

I'm wondering if I should tell my sister that we can skip dinner and just do like pizza and stuff at the house before we go out, just to save the girls some money - like what we did for Bonnie's.

I paid $400 for my cousin's bach party

i think the girls paid about $20 for mine lol it just turned out it was free drinks for ladies at the bar we went to and free admission

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Posted by RockysGirl

wow - you all spent a lot on your bachelorette parties! I'm definitely not gonna be going all out like that. I've been telling my Bridal Party to keep it simple. We can have a lot of fun without hurting our bank accounts. We just wanna be together, and we're actually pretty fun people as it is. lol.

But I just have to say about the original post, I don't think any of your Bridal Party should be complaining if you DO decide to go all out. Like getting a limo or tickets to whatever. I know that when i'm a part of a bridal party, even though I may be hoping it's not gonna cost too much, there's no way I'd ever complain to the bride if it does. I just grit my teeth, get a little stressed, and find a way to make it work.

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I don't want to break their bank accounts either, this is actually what most of the bridal party agreed on - I really have had nothing to do with the planning

Thanks to everyone who responded - I'm going to talk to my sister and see if we can cut back a bit to help out the girls

Coleen, I'm sorry about your cousin..I certainly having money troubles, but I agree with you, even when I didn't have the money, I found a way to make it work.

We aren't doing anything special (my choice). We actually just decided today that we would try to get a few people and go to dinner at least. I am fine with doing nothing. I'm always so busy, I enjoy my down time.

I do understand about people not coming through for you that you already did for them. I'm having the same issue, just not with the BP...more like 26 out of 64 people came to my shower and a few friends who've known about the wedding for over a year aren't coming b/c they are going away that weekend.