how much to spend on this shower gift?

I was invited to FH's cousin's shower, but cannot attend b/c I will be on my honeymoon. It's also OOS, so I probably wouldn't be able to go even if I were home.

I've only met her once and then only very briefly. (We got to FIL's house as they were leaving one day.) She was invited to my shower, but did not attend and did not send a gift. She is coming to our wedding and we plan to attend hers.

I want to send a gift, as I feel it's the right thing to do. Their registry is very odd - not much on there.

At any rate, what's an appropriate amount to spend in this situation? Originally, I was going to send like a place setting of china, but she didn't register for any... or any dishes for that matter.

I was thinking of sending her her salad bowl, salad spinner, and tongs. That costs a little over $65. Is that enough to spend?

My other thought is to spend less and get her her salt and pepper shakers (about $30) + this salt and pepper funnel she registered for for $4.

FH thinks I should spend no more than $50 b/c I also have to wrap and ship it...

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Posted by Jess125483

I think $50 is good - and I think you should just have them sent directly too her in gift wrap from the place you are purchasing from - they usually have that option. This way you don't have to do any physical labor!!!

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I want to ship it to the girl who is throwing the shower so I don't send it FH's cousin directly -- it's a surprise. If I send it online, it'll go straight to her. I have to get this over with this weekend. My wedding's too close. If I don't do it right away, I'll forget!

I'd also prefer to write a handwritten note.

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Posted by Kara and Todd

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Posted by Jess125483

I think $50 is good - and I think you should just have them sent directly too her in gift wrap from the place you are purchasing from - they usually have that option. This way you don't have to do any physical labor!!!

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I want to ship it to the girl who is throwing the shower so I don't send it FH's cousin directly -- it's a surprise. If I send it online, it'll go straight to her. I have to get this over with this weekend. My wedding's too close. If I don't do it right away, I'll forget!

I'd also prefer to write a handwritten note.

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Well you are obviously far more considerate than she is - but good for you!

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

I def. wouldn't spend too much since she did not attend yours and did not send a gift. I would say $50 with wrap and ship.

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I agree completely.

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Posted by Snickers76

I was thinking a $50 gift certificate.

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I thought of that -- but then thought it would be too obvious. Her mom sent me a $50 GC when she didn't attend my shower either... lol

A gift card might be the easy way out if she doesn't have a lot on her registry.

Also, you will save on packaging.

Some people who don't attend the shower won't even send anything (even though etiquette says you should), so I think this is very generous.

While I think your initial idea is a wonderful & generous gift, I don't think I would be that generous for someone that I am not close to....and on top of that did not send me a gift.

The Shakers would be cute and probably the way I would go.

You've only met her once, she didn't go to your shower, and didn't send a present. Keeping this in mind, I would not send her the original gifts you had in mind. $65 plus wrapping and shipping will be like $75 maybe more.

I'd go with the salt and pepper shakers. I think in this case it's the thought that counts. If it was your friend and you couldn't go to the shower I'd send a much nicer gift, but again, keep in mind the situation.

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

You've only met her once, she didn't go to your shower, and didn't send a present. Keeping this in mind, I would not send her the original gifts you had in mind. $65 plus wrapping and shipping will be like $75 maybe more.

I'd go with the salt and pepper shakers. I think in this case it's the thought that counts. If it was your friend and you couldn't go to the shower I'd send a much nicer gift, but again, keep in mind the situation.

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I agree!!! $65 in my opinion is too much considering the circumstances. I personally would only spend about $25 and then shipping. I do like the idea of the salt and pepper shakers and the funnel. I would go with that.

i woud send a gift, there a lot more personal then a gift card, although you would save a lot on shipping, but i would spend no more the 45-50 because after you add shipping your at about 65. Good luck and your a good person for sending a gift

I think you are very sweet for still sending her a gift.. since she did not send you one..

I think the salt & pepper shakers would be fine!

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Posted by alymikewedding08

I think you are very sweet for still sending her a gift.. since she did not send you one..

I think the salt & pepper shakers would be fine!

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Ditto

Thanks everyone!

I will either go with the salt / pepper shakers or her chip / dip bowl she picked out. Either way, I'd be spending about $30 plus shipping - and both are light!