How should I do this.....

How should I do this.....

My sister and I do not get along at all, and long story short, she HATES my FH for reasons unknown other than the fact she's jealous I have such a great guy and she doesn't. My entire family loves him and she hates that too. She doesn't really get along with anyone in my family. Yeah I know......there are a lot of issues there.....

Anyway, I wanted to ask her to be in my bridal party, but I don't know how. obviously she won't be my MOH, but how should I propose the idea to her? I'm just not sure how to ask her. Let's put it this way, when I told her I was engaged, she said 'I'm sorry to hear that'.

I honestly don't care if she is in the party or not, as horrible as it sounds, but i'm just affraid she will ruin my day!

Re: How should I do this.....

Sorry to hear this. I would throw the ball in her court. 'If you would like to be in my bridal party and participate in the wedding, you are welcome.' You are not actually asking her which make the approach easier. You are giving her an open invitation. There is no accepting or denying. I hope this works for you. Let us know what happens

Re: How should I do this.....

OOOHHHHHHHHH thatsa tough one.Do you live near eachother? Why not send a Will you be my bridesmaid card?

Re: How should I do this.....

Ouch...That seems like a tough decision....

Maybe go out to dinner just you and her and try to work things out...Ask her why she is not being very nice about your engagment and you wish it wasn't that way...because you love her really want her to be aart of your speical day....

even tho you don't get along she is always going to be your sister--defintely try working things out- You have nothing to lose!

Good luck!!!!!

Re: How should I do this.....

aw, im sorry that you two dont get along.

maybe mention that you would like her to be in the bridal party and ask how she feels about it.....

tell her that you would like her to , but if she does not want to you'll understand.........see what happens?? good luck

this way the decision is hers and at least you asked her....now there cant be any hard feelings.....

Re: How should I do this.....

---

Posted by causeimb

OOOHHHHHHHHH thatsa tough one.Do you live near eachother? Why not send a Will you be my bridesmaid card?

---

We live in the same house!!!! Kind of funny I know.....it's not as bad as it sounds. she can be nice some days.

Re: How should I do this.....

Re: How should I do this.....

Give her a card or tell ask her, but if she is not behind your wedding decisions then I do not know if I would have her in it.

Re: How should I do this.....

I think it will turn out to be more hassle than you want for her to be in it. But you can approach her by just going out and talking with her over dinner. If you cant' get through dinner, then you are not going to get through planning a wedding without headaches. Take her acceptance into the bridal party ONLY if she understands that being a part of the part means that she fully supports BOTH you and your FH in the marriage. If she can't get along with him, or support it, then you might not want her involved. Good luck, that is a tough one.

Re: How should I do this.....

Re: How should I do this.....

Re: How should I do this.....

Can I just ask you why you are going ask her? Because you think you should? I went through this with my older brother and I was not in the wedding and it was really for the best. He hates me for reasons unknown and it would have only been drama filled. I went to the wedding, but there was no reason for me to stand up there and support him when we he feels the way he does about me.

Re: How should I do this.....

Why dont you speak to your parents about it and get their opinion / ideas??

Re: How should I do this.....

Re: How should I do this.....

Re: How should I do this.....

Honestly, I know she's your sister and all ( I have 2 sisters), but I am confused on why you would ask her at all. You said you don't get along with her at all, she dislikes your FH, and she could care less that you're getting married at all. If you're worried she might ruin your wedding day, then I would keep her out of your BP and wedding plans. It doesn't sound like she'd care either way, but that's just the impression I got from your initial post. Why give yourself any unecessary aggravation? Good luck!

Re: How should I do this.....

In my honest opinion.. I wouldn't ask her to be in your party.

It sounds as though she is not happy for you. You are her sister. My brother has had many girlfriends that I didn't like but I never expressed it because he was my brother. If he thought she was good enough and he was happy then that was enough for me. Turns out I have one of the best SIL in the whole world!

There is a lot of responsibility being in a bridal party even though you are not the MOH. There are dresses to be picked out, appts for fittings to be on time for, the shower...lots of things. If she isn't happy now what makes you think she is going to be happy about doing all the above things?

If you are adament about having your sister in your BP then I would just tell her you love her and want her to be a part of your day but she needs to leave her attitude at the door. There will be lots of interaction btween her, FH, and your family and if she can't keep herself in check then she should decline.

Good Luck!

Re: How should I do this.....

Since you don't get along and she obviously doesn't support your relationship, I don't think you should ask her to be in your BP at all.

Re: How should I do this.....

Sorry that you guys dont get along-maybe just ask her what she thinks about it? And if she gets excited about it then she should behave herself. If she is 'ok' with it-just tell her that you expect certain things from her that day.....etc.

Good Luck!

Re: How should I do this.....