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How To Handle No-Shows?
Bklyngrl Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:32 PM+
Bklyngrl MEMBER SINCE: 4/06 TOTAL POSTS : 594 WEDDING DATE: Aug 06, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:32 PM bride-minus.png

How To Handle No-Shows?

I'm sorry but its just plain RUDE for people to rsvp they are coming and then not show the day of. we pay in full ahead of time for that. we're not rich so it is not only insulting but financially burdensome to have 8 people do that!!!
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KarAnthony Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:36 PM+
KarAnthony MEMBER SINCE: 6/05 TOTAL POSTS : 833 WEDDING DATE: Jul 03, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:36 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

Our no-shows called and had emergencies, people were sick, etc.
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soon2bcopswife Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:43 PM+
soon2bcopswife MEMBER SINCE: 3/06 TOTAL POSTS : 653 WEDDING DATE: May 05, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:43 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

My best guy friend was a no show after I spoke to him the night before. He lives 2 hours from where the reception was and I had noticed he didn't book a hotel room. That was 3 months ago, haven't heard from him since......
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LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:49 PM+
LaurenluvsTJ MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 11866 WEDDING DATE: May 28, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:49 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

We didn't do anything... what can you do?
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GabrielleandJohn Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:51 PM+
GabrielleandJohn MEMBER SINCE: 6/06 TOTAL POSTS : 2153 WEDDING DATE: Jun 23, 2007
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:51 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

Are they friends of yours or family or friends of parents?

If friends of yours:
Call and be concerned. Make sure they are okay and something didn't happen in their lives that impeded them being there. I would call a bit panicky to check on them. If something did happen, god forbid, you are there for them. If something didn't happen then they feel like an *** and have to explain.

Family:
Depending on your comfort level with them, follow the same approach as above. If not have Mom/dad/fmil/ffil call to find out what happened.

Friends of Parents:
Same as not to comfy family.
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kathrynlinton Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:52 PM+
kathrynlinton MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 899 WEDDING DATE: Feb 25, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:52 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

We only had one really, she spoke to my parents after the wedding and said she was in the hospital with a concussion. Who knows!
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july06bride Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:03 PM+
july06bride MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 7792 WEDDING DATE: Jul 01, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:03 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

we didnt do anything because really...what is there to do??? nothing... because I am still bitter about it (no excuses at all from anyone-no phone calls, no nothing) if I am in contact with them, I will probably be cold to them.
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EGreene79 Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:11 PM+
EGreene79 MEMBER SINCE: 4/06 TOTAL POSTS : 1085 WEDDING DATE: Sep 29, 2007
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:11 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

I told my parents I'm going to take the meals home that would be wasted They were of course mortified, but seriously I might offer it to my friends and/or family because why waste the meals?! I don't have too much pride to doggy bag some wedding food

Other than that, there's not much you can do ... especially for only 8 people.
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Bklyngrl Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:30 PM+
Bklyngrl MEMBER SINCE: 4/06 TOTAL POSTS : 594 WEDDING DATE: Aug 06, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:30 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

yes honestly we were mad at ourselves for not thinking of it that night or we would have asked them to pack the dinners up for us (we could have used it that night since we were starving and there was nothing open for us to eat)... thats what makes it even more annoying we spent alot and it just went to waste
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eden Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:40 PM+
eden MEMBER SINCE: 12/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1226 WEDDING DATE: Oct 01, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:40 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

a bride once told me that you really know who's your friend come wedding day...

i was told by another bride that always quote at your guaranteed minimum even if you got more 'yes' responses 'cus once you give them the head count you're paying for that amount even if you get some no-shows....

i think it stinks that ppl say 'yes' then dont show up. these ppl obviously dont know how expensive weddings are and i would definitely call them and guilt trip them if they do that...

did the 'no-shows' at least send a gift?

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Bklyngrl Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:48 PM+
Bklyngrl MEMBER SINCE: 4/06 TOTAL POSTS : 594 WEDDING DATE: Aug 06, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:48 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

no phone call or anything from the no shows - 2 of them had a relative tell us at the wedding they got stuck at work and couldn't make it - its just rude as far as i'm concerned. after all the effort you put into seating arrangements etc and the expense to us. It just upsets me because i feel ripped off - even cancelling ahead of time is better because at least you can ask the hall to throw something in. I mean why should I pay for 8 people that weren't there
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dbleplay17 Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:59 PM+
dbleplay17 MEMBER SINCE: 5/05 TOTAL POSTS : 3855 WEDDING DATE: Jul 23, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 01:59 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

we had a no show

we still havent heard from him
it is pretty F'ed up
at least a phonecall would be nice
if there was something that came up we understand but NO CALL AT ALL.

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SeptBride70 Posted: Aug 14, 2006 02:07 PM+
SeptBride70 MEMBER SINCE: 1/06 TOTAL POSTS : 8582 WEDDING DATE: Sep 09, 2007
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 02:07 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

Well, we had a few no-shows at our Engagement Party.. I let FMIL deal with them. If it was someone from my side I would have my Mom call and make sure everything was OK... but everyone from my side came to the E-party. However, a few from FH's side did not so all I did was just let FMIL know lol... hell hath no fury like my FMIL scorned!! hahaha... so that was that
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nala3378 Posted: Aug 14, 2006 02:11 PM+
nala3378 MEMBER SINCE: 5/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1069 WEDDING DATE: Oct 08, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 02:11 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

Well did they have legite excuses??? OR did they just not show up?
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TheBigDay Posted: Aug 14, 2006 02:48 PM+
TheBigDay MEMBER SINCE: 9/05 TOTAL POSTS : 746 WEDDING DATE: Sep 08, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 02:48 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

RSVPing yes and dont show... Send them a thank you card... 'Thank you for letting me know how much my friendship means! By the way your empty seat(s) cost me $$$' especially if they never bother to even call after the wedding to apologize!
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SeptBride70 Posted: Aug 14, 2006 02:48 PM+
SeptBride70 MEMBER SINCE: 1/06 TOTAL POSTS : 8582 WEDDING DATE: Sep 09, 2007
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 02:48 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?


Posted by nala3378

Well did they have legite excuses??? OR did they just not show up?



for me: they just didn't show up. later, when my FMIL called one couple they went on and on about how their house is being remodeled and they lost the invite and forgot about the party. the odd part was: fmil saw them about a week before the party and they were like oh yeah see you at the party! lol, weird!!

the worst one: we had two girls (they are the daughters of my FH's neighbor). Now, we invited just my FH's neighbor and her husband (after they went on and on about how that week is their 'vacation' week which really means they go out to their boat and sit on it for a week-- the boat is like an hour away). Anywho, since they went on and on about that we just invited the parents b/c we really aren't that close and we didn't want to 'put them out' b/c of the vaca... so, after the invites go out the mother calls my FMIL complaining that the kids were not invited-- UGH! So my FMIL said that it was only b/c we don't feel that close to them and b/c they went on and on about the vaca week and we didn't want them to feel obligated. Then, to be 'fair', i sent them all invites to the party (which was very limited seating). So, then right before the party (about three days prior) the mother calls and says her and the husband cannot go, their grandchild is sick and they can't go. Alright then! So, no big deal... the kids will still come. Then the DAY BEFORE THE PARTY... we see one of the two girls at a nail salon. I asked if she was getting her nails done for the party-- she gave me a blank look... like what party? I explained what happened with the invites-- and she said she had NO idea about any party but she will def be there and ran over to Macy's right then and there to get an outfit... the next day, her and her sister NEVER showed up, NEVER called, did not send a gift, nothing and we ended up paying for their plates!

WHAT THE HECK?!
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Bklyngrl Posted: Aug 14, 2006 03:22 PM+
Bklyngrl MEMBER SINCE: 4/06 TOTAL POSTS : 594 WEDDING DATE: Aug 06, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 03:22 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

mine just did not show up. no call, message, etc. one of the no shows was a couple whose babysitter cancelled last minute so they wife stayed home, the other was a middle aged cousin who was going to bring his 24 year old daughter (and then the daughter didn't come). One was BM's date (who blew him off), another couple who were DH's colleague, etc...
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diamondgrlie Posted: Aug 14, 2006 03:31 PM+
diamondgrlie MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 10491 WEDDING DATE: Jun 03, 2005
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 03:31 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

We had 2 couples who were no shows, we never spoke to them again.
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EJSD2006 Posted: Aug 14, 2006 03:40 PM+
EJSD2006 MEMBER SINCE: 9/05 TOTAL POSTS : 5546 WEDDING DATE: Jun 23, 2006
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 03:40 PM bride-minus.png

Re: How To Handle No-Shows?

i didnt do anything about it. we had 3 no shows (2 singles and 1 couple). my 2 single friends were in the ER because one of them got sick during the day and she called me from her hospital bed crying and apologizing for not making it. completely understandable! the couple that no showed were friends of my Dad that said they thought it was the next day (saturday). i really didnt care if they were there or not and they sent me a check in the mail with their apologies. all was forgiven!

3 of my guy friends rsvp'd with dates/wives but they ended up coming alone. it was fine with me though cause they 'covered the plates' in their gifts to us.
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