How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

MirabellaNYC Posted: Apr 03, 2009 07:20 AM

How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Seriously this is not a joke.

I'm sure this is the first 'tranny at a wedding' post of LIW...

But I'm torn and need advice.

I have a lot of gay guy friends. Way more than the average person, those of you that know who I work for, it's only natural.

One of my work friends is from Hawaii and has never been to a formal wedding-much less a black tie optional one. So of course I want to invite everyone with a guest. But this one guy's best friend (who used to work for us, I know 'her' for 5 years) is a tranny (a pretty hot tranny, but clearly a tranny) and I know if I invite him with a guest, she will be with him.

As open minded as our families are, I think a tranny in the ladies room would be too much.

So should I just not invite him with a guest? I don't want to say 'with guest' and then be like 'oh yeah just don't bring ______'. My friend from work said just not to invite him with a guest, I'm not his manager anymore so I don't owe him that. But then he'd be the only one invited without a guest.

What to do?? I know its sort of a hilarious situation, but nowehere in Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette does it mention trannies.

TIA!

IrishBrideASmiling Posted: Apr 03, 2009 07:29 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Emily Post definitely needs to get on her sh!t and update her etiquette book!

Is this guy friends with other people you intend on inviting with guests? I would just worry about all your friends talking about who they are bringing and he might be insulted you didnt invite him with a guest. If this is not an issue, I would say dont invite him with a guest.

I have the same concern with a friend and worrying about the guest he is going to bring because we have seen the hot messes he has brought as a date in the past.

B2B 2009 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 08:33 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

IMO, I would invite him without a guest. I think it makes your life simple not having to worry about who he's bringing but you're still inviting him to the wedding obviously.

MrsCastanedain09 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 08:39 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

LOL. Quite the pickle!

I would invite without a guest, yes...our generation is open minded (generally speaking) but with your family around things get sticky. Completely understand! Gay is one thing, a tranny is just...I don't even have the words. I can't imagine my Mom's, much less my Grandmother's face to seeing a tranny im the rest room.

No guest.

meara Posted: Apr 03, 2009 08:43 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

IMHO I think that you either have to invite him with a guest and let him bring whomever he wants or not invite him with a guest but think it's kind of hard to say 'don't bring so and so' While I get do totally get whyyou would not want her there to not have to deal with family reaction, take away from your day and such. it doesn't seem right to specify no. .. it's just a wierd boundary .. like if you had a family that was uncomfrtable with other races or religions etc.. saying don't bring so and so. . you know? I know that it's different in a way but just seems hard. ..

BunnyBride Posted: Apr 03, 2009 08:58 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by meara

IMHO I think that you either have to invite him with a guest and let him bring whomever he wants or not invite him with a guest but think it's kind of hard to say 'don't bring so and so' While I get do totally get whyyou would not want her there to not have to deal with family reaction, take away from your day and such. it doesn't seem right to specify no. .. it's just a wierd boundary .. like if you had a family that was uncomfrtable with other races or religions etc.. saying don't bring so and so. . you know? I know that it's different in a way but just seems hard. ..

I agree. You have to invite him with a guest. He is your friend. Your family can suck it. It's not like she is going to be peeing standing up in front of them in the ladies room

Eta: Gender confusion!

MnM182008 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:22 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

If you invite him you have to invite him with a guest. Especially if you are inviting other people he may know with guests. It will seem very strange to not send invite + guest. If you really don't want him to bring a specific guest than just don't invite him all together. JMO

MrsLarrea2B Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:25 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

IMO this shouldn't even be an issue of concern. However, since it is an issue for you and it would bother you, I would invite him w. out a guest. BUT if he knows the same people as you do and you invited THEM w. a guest and not him , he might be offended and ask you why.

debzy Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:33 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

If you invite him with a guest, then you can't put a limitation on who he brings. So, if you really care who he brings, you're better off inviting him w/o a guest. However, if he is the only person you are inviting w/o a guest, he might get offended, so keep that in mind.

BarbieGrl10 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:34 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Deleted just in case of lurkers.

geegee827 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:38 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by debzy

If you invite him with a guest, then you can't put a limitation on who he brings. So, if you really care who he brings, you're better off inviting him w/o a guest. However, if he is the only person you are inviting w/o a guest, he might get offended, so keep that in mind.

I totally agree!

MrsCastanedain09 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:39 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

I was going to quote the above but note that it may be taken down.

I think having the guest use the bridal suite bathroom is the perfect solution. You would have to talk to your friend, I'm SURE that will go over better than inviting him without a guest.

What Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:45 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

my sister had a 'tranny' at her wedding and we thought NOTHING of it.

The person is a HUMAN BEING.

This is the world we live in.... People are not clones.

ETA: I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, or as if I think you're judging. not my intent. I just know a lot of 'different' types of people (I had 3 drag queens at my baby shower) and it upsets me that they aren't treated like the rest of us.

PreshusSmurf Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:49 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by BunnyBride

Posted by meara

IMHO I think that you either have to invite him with a guest and let him bring whomever he wants or not invite him with a guest but think it's kind of hard to say 'don't bring so and so' While I get do totally get whyyou would not want her there to not have to deal with family reaction, take away from your day and such. it doesn't seem right to specify no. .. it's just a wierd boundary .. like if you had a family that was uncomfrtable with other races or religions etc.. saying don't bring so and so. . you know? I know that it's different in a way but just seems hard. ..

I agree. You have to invite him with a guest. He is your friend. Your family can suck it. It's not like she is going to be peeing standing up in front of them in the ladies room

I agree with this ...

I'm not sure why them using the bathroom is a concern? There are stalls for privacy.

flairforfashion Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:53 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Well, it depends. If you are inviting every person with a guest, then you kind of have to. If not, then you can get away with it. It depends on the family and thier beliefs. I know that even though I am down with transvestites and gays, some people in my family aren't.

If your family is very open minded, this shouldn't be an issue. And whoever said that they can use the bridal suite idea is actually a good one!

debzy Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:54 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

I'd also like to add that this is only one person at your wedding...and YOU will be the center of attention. I bet most people don't even notice her, or if they do, they won't think twice. Do what is most comfortable for you.

MJDoc12 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:55 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

you know whats funny? i bet the tranny will be the most elegantly dressed one there!

i'd just invite them with a guest and not make a big deal about it. but i'm a very tolerant person and really don't care about that type of stuff .and if I, as the bride didn't care, then no one else in the family should either. its your guest list.

happybride6 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:57 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

What if you invite him with a specific person?

flairforfashion Posted: Apr 03, 2009 09:58 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by MJDoc12

you know whats funny? i bet the tranny will be the most elegantly dressed one there!

i'd just invite them with a guest and not make a big deal about it. but i'm a very tolerant person and really don't care about that type of stuff .and if I, as the bride didn't care, then no one else in the family should either. its your guest list.

Probably. They always look amazing!