How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Original post by MirabellaNYC

Apr 03, 2009 07:20 AM

Seriously this is not a joke.

I'm sure this is the first 'tranny at a wedding' post of LIW...

But I'm torn and need advice.

I have a lot of gay guy friends. Way more than the average person, those of you that know who I work for, it's only natural.

One of my work friends is from Hawaii and has never been to a formal wedding-much less a black tie optional one. So of course I want to invite everyone with a guest. But this one guy's best friend (who used to work for us, I know 'her' for 5 years) is a tranny (a pretty hot tranny, but clearly a tranny) and I know if I invite him with a guest, she will be with him.

As open minded as our families are, I think a tranny in the ladies room would be too much.

So should I just not invite him with a guest? I don't want to say 'with guest' and then be like 'oh yeah just don't bring ______'. My friend from work said just not to invite him with a guest, I'm not his manager anymore so I don't owe him that. But then he'd be the only one invited without a guest.

What to do?? I know its sort of a hilarious situation, but nowehere in Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette does it mention trannies.

TIA!

BeLissa Posted: Apr 03, 2009 10:08 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by debzy

If you invite him with a guest, then you can't put a limitation on who he brings. So, if you really care who he brings, you're better off inviting him w/o a guest. However, if he is the only person you are inviting w/o a guest, he might get offended, so keep that in mind.

I completely agree with this. If you werent inviting everyone else with a guest, then i would say just dont invite him with a guest. But i would feel uncomfortable having him be the only one not invited with a guest, to me thats making it a bit obvious. so i guess its just a matter of what you feel more comfortable doing - having him be the only one invited guestless, or possibly having a tranny at your wedding.

MrsCastanedain09 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 10:11 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by littlepixie12

Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

Emily Post definitely needs to get on her sh!t and update her etiquette book!

I wouldnt worry about the bathroom situation ..wouldnt the tranny just go into the ladies room and use the stall? Nobody would know she wanst a woman

Well, wouldn't that depend if we're talking pre-op or post-op? Maybe that's the cause for concern?

llupario14 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 10:15 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

My friend is having the same problem, except not with a Tranny, but with an Elvis impersonater! He's a good friend of one of her FH's relatives and she brings him to every family function. The problem is that he always comes to the affair (no matter how fancy) in complete Elvis attire right down to the hair and sunglasses! He even went to a wake like that once! She really doesn't want him at the wedding.

GT143EA Posted: Apr 03, 2009 10:23 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by llupario14

My friend is having the same problem, except not with a Tranny, but with an Elvis impersonater! He's a good friend of one of her FH's relatives and she brings him to every family function. The problem is that he always comes to the affair (no matter how fancy) in complete Elvis attire right down to the hair and sunglasses! He even went to a wake like that once! She really doesn't want him at the wedding.

I just laughed out loud!!!!!!!!!!!! This is funnier than the tranny!!!!!!!!!!

GT143EA Posted: Apr 03, 2009 10:24 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

I feel like you have to invite him with a guest if you are inviting everyone else with one. Dont stress the tranny! If he looks that much like a women, noone will realize he's a man in drag.

Margarita Posted: Apr 03, 2009 10:25 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by llupario14

My friend is having the same problem, except not with a Tranny, but with an Elvis impersonater! He's a good friend of one of her FH's relatives and she brings him to every family function. The problem is that he always comes to the affair (no matter how fancy) in complete Elvis attire right down to the hair and sunglasses! He even went to a wake like that once! She really doesn't want him at the wedding.

HAHA that is hilarious...talk about stealing someone's thunder!!

I would just invite him with guest and gently tell him next time you see him that he can bring any guest he wants except that particular one. I had to do this with one of my good friends bc she always brings a guy i can't stand as her go to date and i really don't want him at my wedding. She completely understood.

BarbieGrl10 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 10:45 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by llupario14

My friend is having the same problem, except not with a Tranny, but with an Elvis impersonater! He's a good friend of one of her FH's relatives and she brings him to every family function. The problem is that he always comes to the affair (no matter how fancy) in complete Elvis attire right down to the hair and sunglasses! He even went to a wake like that once! She really doesn't want him at the wedding.

WHAT????????!!!!!! OMG Is he Stingray???

I just thankfully got out of that dilema myself!

coldasice217 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 11:02 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

That is so funny that you mentioned this, because I'm having the same dilemma lol. My sister's friend, who we may invite, she is of the same profession and her biggest client/friend does that, and if we invite her with a guest, she'd probably bring him/her. And she's gorgeous! I think she would probably upstage me, or people would think I' m the tranny and not her!

Future Mulligan Posted: Apr 03, 2009 11:03 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

i wouldnt worry about it

hopefully your family doesnt notice but if they do who cares!!! i dont think its a big deal....you already said there are going to be lots of gay guys there - i am assuming most will be attending as couples and people will probably notice that too - and screw them if they dont like it - like someone else said, this person is still a human being and its NOT a big deal IMHO.....besides if 'she' is that hot she might fool quite a few people!

tgrlily339 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 11:13 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Def. agree with everyone else, you cant be selective of who their guest is. And its not about your guests feeling uncomfortable, its your day and they are there to see YOU! So as long as you are comfortable with her being there that is ALL that matters!

MEMEJOR Posted: Apr 03, 2009 11:31 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

I had invited 2 to my wedding i am soo serious....

What Posted: Apr 03, 2009 11:32 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by doll2119

What if you invite him with a specific person?

I'm sorry, but that's flat out rude.

Jsquared279 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 11:38 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by BarbieGrl10

I looooooooooooove trannies!!!!!!!!!! So this is a hard choice for me.... We actually have 2 on my FHs side. They are both girls that are now boys. And they use the mens bathroom.
How hurt do you think your friend will be if you tell him your situation? To me... people are who they are and if a man(tranny) wants to use the ladies room and 'freshen' up then more power to them. I know I tend to lean on their side... I just feel bad for everything they had to go through before finally being happy in their own skin.
J - How does your Mom and FHs Mom feel about it? What about making this guest use the bridal suite bathroom? As bad as that sounds... I don't know hunny! I'm no help....just sorry you have to make a decision like this b/c I'm sure its not an easy one.

I might take this down in a little while just in case of lurkers.

I 100% completely agree and honestly, although this may ruffle some feathers. I truly feel you should invite him with a guest and not discriminate by any means who he so chooses that guest to be, but then again that is just my opinion.

KimiDanny1010 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 11:43 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by GT143EA

Posted by llupario14

My friend is having the same problem, except not with a Tranny, but with an Elvis impersonater! He's a good friend of one of her FH's relatives and she brings him to every family function. The problem is that he always comes to the affair (no matter how fancy) in complete Elvis attire right down to the hair and sunglasses! He even went to a wake like that once! She really doesn't want him at the wedding.

I just laughed out loud!!!!!!!!!!!! This is funnier than the tranny!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha ... free entertainment where-ever you go !!!

gina409 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 11:45 AM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by tgrlily339

Def. agree with everyone else, you cant be selective of who their guest is. And its not about your guests feeling uncomfortable, its your day and they are there to see YOU! So as long as you are comfortable with her being there that is ALL that matters!

ita

MirabellaNYC Posted: Apr 03, 2009 12:07 PM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Thanks for all your advice!! So many great solutions!

I would love nothing more than him to bring HER...because she's one of my favorite people.

What's sticky is that FH's entire family (about 2/3 of the guests) are OFF THE BOAT ITALIANS!! So I'm really afraid of the reaction they might have.

I actually love the idea of her using the bridal suite bathroom. And it's true you would barely notice her among so many people. And I don't want him to feel singled out if he's the only one invited without a guest.

So I know what I'm going to do now. Crisis averted!

Ahh where would I be without the advice of my fellow LIW brides.

BarbieGrl10 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 12:08 PM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by MirabellaNYC

Thanks for all your advice!! So many great solutions!

I would love nothing more than him to bring HER...because she's one of my favorite people.

What's sticky is that FH's entire family (about 2/3 of the guests) are OFF THE BOAT ITALIANS!! So I'm really afraid of the reaction they might have.

I actually love the idea of her using the bridal suite bathroom. And it's true you would barely notice her among so many people. And I don't want him to feel singled out if he's the only one invited without a guest.

So I know what I'm going to do now. Crisis averted!

Ahh where would I be without the advice of my fellow LIW brides.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MirabellaNYC Posted: Apr 03, 2009 12:15 PM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Yahoo I'm on during the day!!

I figured this post would spice up the boards quite a bit.

I think when we do table seating we'll be able to keep her away from FH's family.
Who knows? He may not bring her. I'm just doing a 'what if....' scenario.

What Posted: Apr 03, 2009 03:03 PM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

Posted by MirabellaNYC

Thanks for all your advice!! So many great solutions!

I would love nothing more than him to bring HER...because she's one of my favorite people.

What's sticky is that FH's entire family (about 2/3 of the guests) are OFF THE BOAT ITALIANS!! So I'm really afraid of the reaction they might have.

I actually love the idea of her using the bridal suite bathroom. And it's true you would barely notice her among so many people. And I don't want him to feel singled out if he's the only one invited without a guest.

So I know what I'm going to do now. Crisis averted!

Ahh where would I be without the advice of my fellow LIW brides.

eff his family. seriously, if they're the type to make a scene over a guest, that's pretty low. If they're 'shocked,' oh well... not your problem.

enjoy your day.... you can't please everyone.

Nitania13 Posted: Apr 03, 2009 03:08 PM

Re: How to say 'Invited with Guest, Just Not a Tranny'

WOW, that's a tough one. Well, I guess if I were that concerned about it I might just not invite him at all. I mean it's bad to invite everyone w/a guest except for him and yet you can't have grandma fixing her lipstick next to Little Miss Shaved Adam's Apple. I think she might freak on that one. I wouldn't care if it weren't that obvious that it's a shim, but if you can easily tell that he has a different chromosone then maybe just not invite them at all? Or could you try talking to him? I don't know really, I'm sorry. That's really rough!