how would you feel if...............................

orchid08 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:19 AM

how would you feel if...............................

your parents were helping you with the wedding & FH mom isnt???

xXxNovember08xXx Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:20 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

did she even offer?

orchid08 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:23 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

no but he said she really cant afford it

orchid08 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:23 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

b/c shes a single mother

jjk1007 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:28 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

Well, if thats the case then I would be greatful that at least your parents can help you. Im kinda in the same boat as you....

orchid08 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:31 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

i just feel that my parents are putting more of an effort than she is. dont get me wrong- shes great but i think their guest list should be half of mine! its really hard !

xXxNovember08xXx Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:31 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

Posted by jjk1007

Well, if thats the case then I would be greatful that at least your parents can help you. Im kinda in the same boat as you....

ditto... if her circumstances can not allow for it i woudl let it slide.. but if she was well off and living pretty i woudl be highly offended if she never offered a little help....

Luvbsb4eva Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:32 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

I have the same problem... FH's parents haven't offered anything at all, I don't know if they will or not. They know I've been planning stuff too because I tell them about everything... maybe they will just do the rehearsal dinner??

If it keeps up for a while, like by next fall, and they still haven't mentioned anything, I might have FH mention it to them and see what they say.

orchid08 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:34 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

thats how i feel!!

ShanonandSteve Posted: Mar 20, 2007 07:40 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

if her situation doesnt allow it, then i wouldnt say anything.

she probably already feels bad, and i would not want to make her feel any worse.

she can do other things to help, besides money, maybe any DIYs you are doing, or favors..

Autumn08 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 07:54 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

It's not unusual for couples to be paying for the wedding themselves completely. Although you can ask you parents and in-laws if they will help contribute but keep in mind they are under no obligation. Especially since you mentioned FMIL can't afford it.

ETA: My FMIL thought the brides parents were supposed to pay for the wedding.

Super2star Posted: Mar 20, 2007 07:57 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

yeah FH's mom didnt offer either...meanwhile they paid for his sisters whole entire wedding...soup to nuts and hasnt even offered FH anything...I dont think she will either...
my parents paid for my sisters wedding...and also gave my brothers money when they got married...so I guess everyone is different

MikeandJess Posted: Mar 20, 2007 08:19 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

Posted by orchid08

i just feel that my parents are putting more of an effort than she is. dont get me wrong- shes great but i think their guest list should be half of mine! its really hard !

I do agree that if she doesn't have the money to contribute she should limit who she is inviting

Ilovebriani Posted: Mar 20, 2007 08:23 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

if she cannot afford it i wouldnt worry about it. be happy that your parents are chipping in and you dont have to foot the whole entire bill for yourselves. if there are guests his mother is inviting that FH and you dont care to have attend...then i would have FH talk to her...but if most of her guests are family and close family friends who FH is close with, then i wouldnt worry about it....they are FH's guests too, i would think of it that way

Love08 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 08:25 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

I'm kind of in the same boat, It annoys me!!!!

Jesses Girl Posted: Mar 20, 2007 08:34 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

SeaMaiden Posted: Mar 20, 2007 08:35 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

if they cant afford it i wouldnt be offended at all. i think FH parents will contribute somewhat because they have been pretty involved and excited about it. My father on the other hand, Im sure wont give a dime. He isnt rich but im sure could offer to pay for the DJ or something ,however, buying new cars and fancy TVs is more important to him. My mother has no $$ at all so it dosent bother me if she dosent contribute, as long as she is there i will be happy.

AMGBride2008 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 08:38 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

It wouldn't bother me at all. I would NEVER expect anyone to help us out, so if they chose not to, I can't be mad at them for that.

Jesses Girl Posted: Mar 20, 2007 08:42 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

Posted by AMGBride2008

It wouldn't bother me at all. I would NEVER expect anyone to help us out, so if they chose not to, I can't be mad at them for that.

i agree. totally. i dont even want my parents helpin out but i know them ad how they are.

cherish83 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 08:44 AM

Re: how would you feel if...............................

Any help is amazing, but i wouldn't expect them to offer. You said she doesn't have much money, so she's struggling as it is. I'd be understanding about it