How would you go about the RD when...

...FIL's are already contributing probably way more than their fair share towards the wedding, and your family has flat out said no?

We obviously want to have an RD, and should, because we're having a church rehearsal, we have a fairly large BP now that FH's 3 little cousins are going to be junior ushers/usherette, and the family does nothing without 'the clan', so we're talking at LEAST 31-32 people total. That's BP with dates, and immediate family including parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and first cousins. I feel like that's a lot for a restaurant, but FIL's house can't accomodate that many people either. I'm kinda stuck, because although 'traditionally' FIL's pay for the RD, in our case they are already paying for our final RH payment and DJ. As far as my parent's are concerned, they're done...they paid our RH initial deposit, my dress, veil, and alterations, and for my shower, and said point blank no more.

I wouldn't even be opposed to having catered trays like our mini-eparty in FIL's house, but I don't know if it would work. It was a little tight then, but this would be adding 6 or so more people too. Plus, I just feel bad asking them to do more.

Does anyone know of a place in the Huntington/Northport/Greenlawn vicinity that would have a bar type area maybe to just do a cocktail type party? We really need to start thinking of backup plans, and it's Thanksgiving weekend, and I know restaurants get really busy by Saturday so will need to make any reservations soon. TIA!!!

See if there is a community center in your town. You can wine and beer. You can some catered trays and just have a good time.

But see if there is a church.synagogue/community center that has a large basement that you can rent out for the evening.

Hope this helps!

Your posts crack me up!! Esp when you talk about FH family!! THE CLAN!!!! wait wait... WHO in the world is going to babysit the dog???? What will the dog do all by his lonesome? Or haha... do you have to invite the dog as well?? hahahaha!

My RD is Halloween weekend... so I have halloween and you have thanksgiving!

I am of no real use right now... just wanted to comment about those things!!

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Posted by grkbarbie

why cant u 2 pay for the rd?

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ITA. THere are plenty of restaurants in the area that have rooms. I dont think a restaurant will give up the bar area on a fri or sat night.

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Posted by grkbarbie

why cant u 2 pay for the rd?

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because we're cheap.

But seriously, if it's a choice between paying for it ourselves, and not having one at all, FH has already said then we just won't have one.

And yes Kerri, I forgot. 32 people and a dog. But at least if we have it at the house she'll be free to run around biting me!

And I agree with the other girls, if the parents paid for everything else you should be able to foot the bill for the rehearsal dinner...but if you can't you can't.

You can try the church thing, see if they have a room, or a VFW and get some trays of food...?

That should be reasonable? Any restaurant is going to be expensive for 30 something people...

ETA: I'm not having one. I think they're pointless when you have a small BP and you're getting married at the RH, but thats just my 2 pennies.

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Posted by alli3131

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Posted by grkbarbie

why cant u 2 pay for the rd?

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ITA. THere are plenty of restaurants in the area that have rooms. I dont think a restaurant will give up the bar area on a fri or sat night.

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PS I meant to ask you, not to hijack my own thread, but when you've purchased your jewelry from Busy Bee in the past, how long did it take to come in? I was told a week to two weeks for my ring, and this was last Sat, and didn't hear anything yet so I don't know when I should start calling to follow up with them.

The only thing we ordered from him were cuffliks and that took 2 weeks cause it was during passover. THey are good about calling though so I wouldnt worry. Everything else we got was right there.....and when DH bought my ering he had to have the setting altered and they said it would be a week but we were leaving for vaca in 2 days and DH wanted it for the trip. They stayed open late and got it done for him.

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Posted by gina409

why not just have everyone over to ur house or parents house or his parents and have something small.... mean i get the feeling u want a rehersal and if u guys dont want to pay for it in a big place go smaller and have it at home

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Yeah I just wonder if we can accomodate that many people though...it would have to be FIL's house, it's closer to the church and bigger, but not sure if big enough for 30 people. It could work...would just be tight. We would even pay for the tray food if it's an issue. We'll see I guess. I feel uncomfortable to bring it up, and I know FH won't want to either.

Can you do a Rehersal dinner earlier when the weather is still nice so you can have it both inside and outside so you can accomodate everyone. There is no rule that you have to have it the same day as the rehersal.. Yes its nice.. but its not needed.

If not then maybe see about having it in the house, maybe some ppl wont show up.

Or check around to find reasonably priced resturants with a buffet style option, thats alot cheaper than a sit down

We ended up paying for our own RD since both parents contributed enough money towards our wedding.

We got an awesome package deal at a restaurant which included a cake and it was great! The restaurant is in Nassau though so it wont help you.

If you do plan on doing something at your home or VFW hall or what not, price it all out. When my sis was planning my shower, it was cheaper to have it at a restaurant than have it at our local FD hall and have it catered!

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Posted by KittyGags

And I agree with the other girls, if the parents paid for everything else you should be able to foot the bill for the rehearsal dinner...but if you can't you can't.

You can try the church thing, see if they have a room, or a VFW and get some trays of food...?

That should be reasonable? Any restaurant is going to be expensive for 30 something people...

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ITA

We ended up paying out the buttt for our RD. My mom and dad were strapped for money after paying for everything, and we wanted to have one so we did it ourselves. We had a fairly large BP too...and some were from out of state so the RD was the first time they got to run through anything. It'll work itself out....it always does

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Posted by coldasice217

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Posted by grkbarbie

why cant u 2 pay for the rd?

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because we're cheap.

But seriously, if it's a choice between paying for it ourselves, and not having one at all, FH has already said then we just won't have one.

And yes Kerri, I forgot. 32 people and a dog. But at least if we have it at the house she'll be free to run around biting me!

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honestly you could just do something mellow. . like can you do a casual/cheap place. . even like pizzas or maybe some greek sandwiches or something and salads. . you could really prob do something fun for a few hundered dollars. ..and no one really cares if its fancy but want to hang out but IMHO I would think it would be a little rude to have nothing if you are asking folks to come to the church rehearsal. .

Northport Tasting Room is a wine bar that opened up about a year ago in the village. They don't have food but they do have an arrangement with many of the restaurants in town where they will bring in outside food (they even keep all of their menus behind the bar). I don't know how your guests would feel about ONLY drinking wine and not beer or liquor, though. But it might be an affordable way to have a RD 'cocktail' party -- perhaps just a few different selections of wine and some appetizers. Maroni's is right around the corner and their pots of meatballs and spaghetti are AMAZING (they beat Bobby Flay's in the throwndown!) And isn't wine part of your theme, Ali?

In Dec a BBQ would be impossible, so you guys really are forced to do something indoors. Hm. I'm stumped! Other than what I suggested and what other suggested, renting a VFW or something.

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Posted by gina409

why not just have everyone over to ur house or parents house or his parents and have something small.... mean i get the feeling u want a rehersal and if u guys dont want to pay for it in a big place go smaller and have it at home

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I agree.

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Posted by meara

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Posted by coldasice217

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Posted by grkbarbie

why cant u 2 pay for the rd?

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because we're cheap.

But seriously, if it's a choice between paying for it ourselves, and not having one at all, FH has already said then we just won't have one.

And yes Kerri, I forgot. 32 people and a dog. But at least if we have it at the house she'll be free to run around biting me!

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honestly you could just do something mellow. . like can you do a casual/cheap place. . even like pizzas or maybe some greek sandwiches or something and salads. . you could really prob do something fun for a few hundered dollars. ..and no one really cares if its fancy but want to hang out but IMHO I would think it would be a little rude to have nothing if you are asking folks to come to the church rehearsal. .

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ITA, pay for it yourselves. It can be something very mellow but it's rude not to do anything.