How would you handle this?

FMIL is not contributing any monetary amount to the wedding. She has promsied to pay for flowers but still has not followed through. She keeps asking how much everything is, though, and every time we book something, she wants to know what the price is. I don't see why she keeps asking, and I don't feel comfortable telling her. How should I respond when she asks?

How would you handle this?

Maybe she's trying to figure out how much money to give you guys? If its bothering you I would make your FH know and tell him to ask her why she keeps asking. He can also ask if shes contributing towards the flowers since she said she would.

How would you handle this?

My feeling is she's just being nosy. She is going to give us what she can afford, if anything, regardless of what things cost. I highly doubt she will follow through with the flowers, which is fine. I won't be surprised if she doesn't follow through...her usual M.O.

How would you handle this?

That would annoy me too. Its none of her business id say ask your FH to talk to her.

How would you handle this?

Tell her the truth, you are not comfortable talking about your wedding finances.
Sounds like she is just being nosy. If she might contribute to flowers, just take her on the appointment for that. You are still involving her, but on your terms.

Re: How would you handle this?

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Posted by sandr325

Tell her the truth, you are not comfortable talking about your wedding finances.
Sounds like she is just being nosy. If she might contribute to flowers, just take her on the appointment for that. You are still involving her, but on your terms.

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She did go on the appointment with us for flowers. She told us she would get them for us. We booked them and paid the down payment already. She hasn't mentioned it since.

How would you handle this?

I would have FH ask her about it. If she decides not to pony up the $$ i wouldnt expect anything from her. I would also stop telling her how much everything costs because it does sound like she is being nosey without contributing.

Re: How would you handle this?

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Posted by KroertGS

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Posted by sandr325

Tell her the truth, you are not comfortable talking about your wedding finances.
Sounds like she is just being nosy. If she might contribute to flowers, just take her on the appointment for that. You are still involving her, but on your terms.

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She did go on the appointment with us for flowers. She told us she would get them for us. We booked them and paid the down payment already. She hasn't mentioned it since.

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When it came time to book the florist, I probably would have told her that they needed the deposit before paying for it myself just to see what she would say. If she didn't give it, then I would have paid for it.

Re: How would you handle this?

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Posted by klk072285

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Posted by KroertGS

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Posted by sandr325

Tell her the truth, you are not comfortable talking about your wedding finances.
Sounds like she is just being nosy. If she might contribute to flowers, just take her on the appointment for that. You are still involving her, but on your terms.

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She did go on the appointment with us for flowers. She told us she would get them for us. We booked them and paid the down payment already. She hasn't mentioned it since.

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When it came time to book the florist, I probably would have told her that they needed the deposit before paying for it myself just to see what she would say. If she didn't give it, then I would have paid for it.

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You're right. I should've done that. I think I've been conitioned just to save myself the aggravation. This is nothing new for her. Annoying.

Re: How would you handle this?

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Posted by KroertGS

FMIL is not contributing any monetary amount to the wedding. She has promsied to pay for flowers but still has not followed through. She keeps asking how much everything is, though, and every time we book something, she wants to know what the price is. I don't see why she keeps asking, and I don't feel comfortable telling her. How should I respond when she asks?

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Tell her toshut up or pay up! maybe in a nicerr way. It's just none of her business!

Re: How would you handle this?

I would just commit yourself you paying for all of it yourselves and if she does do something for you guys, consider it a gift/surprise. She is obviously unreliable, so don't count on anything. Also, when she asks, I would just say 'Oh, don't worry about it' and move on. Nip it now, kill her with kindness and handle it yourselves.

Re: How would you handle this?

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Posted by Rob and Robin

I would just commit yourself you paying for all of it yourselves and if she does do something for you guys, consider it a gift/surprise. She is obviously unreliable, so don't count on anything. Also, when she asks, I would just say 'Oh, don't worry about it' and move on. Nip it now, kill her with kindness and handle it yourselves.

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This! Great advice.

Re: How would you handle this?

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Posted by dmlentz

I would have FH ask her about it. If she decides not to pony up the $$ i wouldnt expect anything from her. I would also stop telling her how much everything costs because it does sound like she is being nosey without contributing.

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ITA!!

Re: How would you handle this?

maybe she is going to end up given little contributions towards everything? if she never gives anything though then she's just nosy! my grandma does the same thing. I had to hear it for weeks when she heard about the shoes I want. actually anytime it's even brought up she still makes comments and I'm like it's not your money what do you care?

Re: How would you handle this?

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Posted by DharmaColbie86

That would annoy me too. Its none of her business id say ask your FH to talk to her.

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Totally agree!!! Unfortunately its not your place to be like 'why do you care how much things cost?'...obviously you wouldn't say it in these words but you get my drift.

Def have FH talk to her, its his mom. Plus if it is her usual M.O. not to follow through, you need to know for sure if you need to come up with the money.

How would you handle this?

I'm passing all Fmil issues off to fh... I don't have the time or patience to deal w it. His mom his problem

Re: How would you handle this?

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Posted by JojoBride

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Posted by DharmaColbie86

That would annoy me too. Its none of her business id say ask your FH to talk to her.

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Totally agree!!! Unfortunately its not your place to be like 'why do you care how much things cost?'...obviously you wouldn't say it in these words but you get my drift.

Def have FH talk to her, its his mom. Plus if it is her usual M.O. not to follow through, you need to know for sure if you need to come up with the money.

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Is it crazy that I feel like it is my place to say something like that? I feel like my wedding, my money, my business...IDK...maybe I'm nuts. I guess to keep the peace, I better keep my mouth shut and let FH do the talking. We def need to come up with all the money, even if she says she will...can't count on that at all. UGH.

Thanks everyone!!