Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......Reply Added on Page 4

Original post by Bella Blu

Jul 30, 2006 11:47 AM

We have been having problems that were affecting our relationship and my feelings about us. I don't feel like getting into too many details right now. The last straw came a couple of weeks ago, I gave him back the ring (not the first time I had done that) and gave my self breathing space for a couple of weeks. During that time, he has been trying to work on the things that have been hurting us, listening to self-help tapes, taking notes on them to start to change some of his behaviors. I totally appreciate it, but right now I am so damaged and hurt from everything that I need time to be myself again. What hurts me the most is that I know he loves me with all he has got and this is really hurting him right now.

Part of me feels relieved and part of me thinks back to the good times and the special ways we had in our relationship which makes this totally s*ck.

Although my wedding was planned for December, at this point the only thing I had booked was the hall. We got a church, but the final paperwork was not sent in to fianlize everything. I guess deep down, in my subconscious I kinda knew. My enthusiasm for planning the wedding was very back and forth. As the day got closer I began to see it as a huge stress more than an excitement because I had taken so long to get on with my planning.

I don't plan on leaving the boards at this point, I'll just see how it goes.

AJSBABYGIRL Posted: Jul 30, 2006 07:58 PM

Re: Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......

patticakes Posted: Jul 30, 2006 08:17 PM

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I'm so sorry, I hope you feel comforted soon.

alioop4282 Posted: Jul 30, 2006 08:26 PM

Re: Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know you don't even know me but please feel free to FM if you need to talk. I've been there..

kittythestray Posted: Jul 30, 2006 08:40 PM

Re: Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......

I think you did a very brave thing. I know a couple who went through with the wedding because they felt they 'had to'... they filed for a divorce after like 7 months. You have to be 100% certain - I'm sure this was a difficult decision. Be strong!

cherilicious16 Posted: Jul 30, 2006 08:40 PM

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SoonToBeMrs.L Posted: Jul 30, 2006 09:03 PM

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ewickens Posted: Jul 30, 2006 09:07 PM

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bethnsul2000 Posted: Jul 30, 2006 09:18 PM

Re: Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......

sorry for your problems. I had called off my wedding...we got back together, but he made some major changes...we are getting married in August...you can never have things perfect, but if you know your guy is willing and trying...working things out can be possible

bellaro782 Posted: Jul 30, 2006 10:31 PM

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Amaker Posted: Jul 30, 2006 10:46 PM

Re: Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......

Everything happens for a reason, I know that is probably not what you want to be hearing right now, but just keep it in the back of your mind.

tiffandmatt Posted: Jul 30, 2006 11:17 PM

Re: Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......

I think that although this cannot be an easy decision, you are very brave for admitting to yourself that certain parts of your relationship NEED to be solved before marrying. It seems so many people ignore their gut instinct and run head first into something that they are unsure about. Only to find out once they are married that some things can't be fixed and that they want out. Good luck to you and hopefully things will be resolved.

moonlithaze Posted: Jul 30, 2006 11:33 PM

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OctoberPrincess2006 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 02:09 AM

Re: Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......

sorry to hear that. Stay strong.

kara10152006 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:36 AM

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I hope everything works out for you.

iamvocal72 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 08:50 AM

Re: Hugs Please.......I Cancelled My Wedding Last Night.......

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

i have an idea of how you feel first hand (through my sister who is going through something similar right now)... unfortunately, people don't always know what to say in these situations... just keep in your mind and in your heart that this is the best decision for you, for your life.. that you are a wonderful person who deserves to have a strong and healthy relationship with someone else.

it might be best that you found this out now, even though i know that's not what you want to hear, but it's true... and things can change so quickly for you, you could meet someone, or you could just be happy to be alone for a while-- i'm sure you would rather be alone than be with someone and unhappy. life is too short to be that way. i'm so sorry to hear this and i wish you the best of luck. i would, if i were you, go see a therapist or social worker, someone who can make you stronger and validate how you feel... i have the name of someone great, my sister (her wedding was supposed to be in one month) is using. please feel free to FM me for her info.

take it one day at a time, don't worry about yesterday, don't think about tomorrow: just do whatever you can to deal with today for what it is. think positive and try to keep a clear head. surround yourself with people that love and care about you-- but take time for yourself to just cry when you need to also.

I agree! This is some really great advice. Get yourself to a therapist to help refocus you on YOU!

You are so strong and brave. Good luck! We are all here for you!