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I am a mess today.

elp6421 Posted:

I am a mess today.

So I was debating about whether to post this or not since it is so personal but I just have no one else to talk to about it so..here goes.

My mother asks me today not to marry FH. My sister basically ditched my shower, and he got into a fight with her where he basically yelled at her and she yelled at him said some bad things about his sister.

Now my family had decided not to support the wedding.
NovBride10 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

Awww Is your mom justified in feeling like this? I'm sure she wants what is best for you. You have to do what makes you happy. I would listen to your mothers reasoning thouhg. Maybe she sees things you don't. If she is just trying to be difficult and you are completely happy, then I would just ignore it and live your life. It's much easier to break off an engagement than a wedding.
MikesBride2B Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

Wow...that's really hard. I don't know what to tell you...I can only say that it depends on your relationship with your family. If my mom would have told me not to marry DH I would have had to stop and seriously consider it because I know my mom knows me better than I know myself and would only step in if she thought I was making a HUGE mistake...along the lines of she thought that I would be totally miserable, that I would be abused, that he wouldn't treat me right...not just because she didn't like him or something.

Only you know what your family is like so only you can really know if they have your best interests at heart. Maybe get her to give you reasons why she feels you shouldn't marry him and try to take an objective look and see if there is some backing to them. Sorry you're going through this
SoontobeGallagher Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

I do remember you posting a lot issues with your sister and maybe he was sticking up for you? Maybe your mom doesn't see it that way...

Jna2010 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.


Posted by MikesBride2B

Wow...that's really hard. I don't know what to tell you...I can only say that it depends on your relationship with your family. If my mom would have told me not to marry DH I would have had to stop and seriously consider it because I know my mom knows me better than I know myself and would only step in if she thought I was making a HUGE mistake...along the lines of she thought that I would be totally miserable, that I would be abused, that he wouldn't treat me right...not just because she didn't like him or something.

Only you know what your family is like so only you can really know if they have your best interests at heart. Maybe get her to give you reasons why she feels you shouldn't marry him and try to take an objective look and see if there is some backing to them. Sorry you're going through this



ita, im sorry hun, i hope everything works out for the best maybe sit and talk to your mom about where this is coming from
elp6421 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

I feel like right now I can't talk to either one of them - him or her.

I feel like I am being caught in the middle and I honestly have a problem with how they all acted.
NovBride10 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

I think you need to sit down and speak with each of them alone and listen to their side of the story. I don't this is something you can just ignore at this time. As much as you don't want to, you need to get to the bottom of it. One of them is in the wrong, and you need to find out who it is.

JAAMS Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

JBC12510 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

sent you FM. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

GR2010 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

I'm sorry they're doing this to you. It never hurts to consider a parent's opinion or to even ask her why she feels that way. If she has legit reasons it might be something to consider but if it's because he had words with your sister I think that is a little ridiculous on her part.

bluj786 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

im soo sorry, but i think you should sit down will all of them at different times and talk to them. and see what they are all feeling and let them know how you feel as well.

i hope it all works out. we are all here for you.

elp6421 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

Well I found out her reasoning - She didn't like that FH raised his voice to my sister.

Are you kidding me? The girl didn't even come to the shower!!!!
GR2010 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.


Posted by elp6421

Well I found out her reasoning - She didn't like that FH raised his voice to my sister.

Are you kidding me? The girl didn't even come to the shower!!!!



Yeah that's not a good enough reason. If my sister didn't come to my shower I would hope FH would say something in my defense.
MrsC2010 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

soontobecruz Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

siblings argue, and fight. He is becoming one of her siblings. I'm sure he was only doing it to stick up for you, and as long as he hasn't made a habit of this behavior I think that it's not a good enough reason to call of the engagement or have your parents not support the wedding.

Does your mom see that your sister was wrong in ditching you shower as well?
flibbertigibbet Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

If FH and I can go through with this and get married after the drama I've had with one of his siblings...

your sister can get over having FH 'raise his voice' to her.

Hang in there! You guys will make it through this.
elp6421 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.


Posted by soontobecruz

siblings argue, and fight. He is becoming one of her siblings. I'm sure he was only doing it to stick up for you, and as long as he hasn't made a habit of this behavior I think that it's not a good enough reason to call of the engagement or have your parents not support the wedding.

Does your mom see that your sister was wrong in ditching you shower as well?



No, in fact they told her not to. She had a wedding to go to that they told her she needed to attend since it was the wedding of her fiancee's business partner. 'Since she is going to be a part of the business, they should be her priority.'

I think that's really what set him off. And the worst of it is, last night after my parents drop that bomb on me I was really wondering if I was crazy.
bluj786 Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.


Posted by GR2010


Posted by elp6421

Well I found out her reasoning - She didn't like that FH raised his voice to my sister.

Are you kidding me? The girl didn't even come to the shower!!!!



Yeah that's not a good enough reason. If my sister didn't come to my shower I would hope FH would say something in my defense.




ITA, just bc your sister is being a baby, doesnt mean that she say that about you FH. He was only trying to protect YOU!
soontobecruz Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.


Posted by elp6421


Posted by soontobecruz

siblings argue, and fight. He is becoming one of her siblings. I'm sure he was only doing it to stick up for you, and as long as he hasn't made a habit of this behavior I think that it's not a good enough reason to call of the engagement or have your parents not support the wedding.

Does your mom see that your sister was wrong in ditching you shower as well?



No, in fact they told her not to. She had a wedding to go to that they told her she needed to attend since it was the wedding of her fiancee's business partner. 'Since she is going to be a part of the business, they should be her priority.'

I think that's really what set him off. And the worst of it is, last night after my parents drop that bomb on me I was really wondering if I was crazy.



ummm not cool.... IMO, I would have sent FH to his partner's wedding and I would have gone to my sister's shower. That is a very valid reason why she wouldn't have been at the wedding.

Sorry I'm also one of those people who would go to a wedding alone have a great time and think nothing of it if my FH had something else as equally important to attend. Schedules conflict sometimes even for engaged/married people. That's life...
KTnChris Posted:

Re: I am a mess today.

i don't have any advice or words of encouragement, just

and
that everything works out for you for the better

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