I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

040508Bride Posted: Mar 02, 2008 07:55 AM

I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FH is a cop and (I have posted about this before) we just started living together in December. Well, this morning I woke up to find his stupid GUN laying out on our COUCH!!! We have had this discussion 5 BILLION times and he always says he won't do it again. I am PETRIFIED of these freaking things and really want NOTHING to do with them. I told him last time that the next time he does this I am just getting rid of it and he'll have to buy a new one (they are $$$$$$) so that maybe he'll take it more seriously, but since he has to work tonight I can't do that bc he'll get canned. I really am fuming over this because he knows how I feel and why I feel the way I do about guns and it's like he doesn't even care. If something bothered him like that, I would NEVER forget about it and i'd be sure to never make him feel uncomfortable. I'm thisclose to calling his mother and having her rip it into him (she can be very good at this stuff) so that he'll listen but it pisses me off that he won't listen to ME about it. I just ripped him out of bed (he got home 2 hours ago) to put it away and all he said was 'oh sh***'. I really can't stand this anymore. What is he going to be like when we have kids??? All it takes is ONE time!!!!!! He has a safe and everything, why can't he use it?!?!?

SoonToBeMrsBrady Posted: Mar 02, 2008 08:01 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you need to tell him how scared you are and just be vulnerable about it to him. Let him hear how scared you are about them and how upset and angry you get.
He has to get into a routine of putting it right into the safe, as soon as he walks in the door.

040508Bride Posted: Mar 02, 2008 08:05 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by SoonToBeMrsBrady

Maybe you need to tell him how scared you are and just be vulnerable about it to him. Let him hear how scared you are about them and how upset and angry you get.
He has to get into a routine of putting it right into the safe, as soon as he walks in the door.

I have balled my eyes out over this and it just doesn't sink in. What else can I do?!?!? I have absolutely no problem throwing him and the gun out if this is how it will be. There are reasons why I feel the way I do about this and for him to be so ignorant really speaks in volumes to me. He's LAZY and completely disrespectful when it comes to this. He always says IT'S LOCKED NOTHING CAN HAPPEN (bc it's just us now) but my whole issue is I don't want him to get into this habit now bc when we have kids it will be hard to break.

MrsK2008 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 08:20 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

clearly the approach you have taken is not effective.

try something else!

enlist family members if you must!

Luvbsb4eva Posted: Mar 02, 2008 08:29 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should've hid it and pretended you threw it out...then maybe he would've learned his lesson. Stupid boys...

MrsK2008 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 08:32 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Luvbsb4eva

You should've hid it and pretended you threw it out...then maybe he would've learned his lesson. Stupid boys...

that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.........pardon my CANDOR

Luvbsb4eva Posted: Mar 02, 2008 08:35 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by MrsK2008

Posted by Luvbsb4eva

You should've hid it and pretended you threw it out...then maybe he would've learned his lesson. Stupid boys...

that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.........pardon my CANDOR

Why, she told him she was going to get rid of it the next time he left it out... it would make him think she actually followed through since he couldn't listen and freak him out, I don't think it's so rediculous at all... it would actually be pretty effective

MrsHtobe Posted: Mar 02, 2008 09:20 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Luvbsb4eva

Posted by MrsK2008

Posted by Luvbsb4eva

You should've hid it and pretended you threw it out...then maybe he would've learned his lesson. Stupid boys...

that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.........pardon my CANDOR

Why, she told him she was going to get rid of it the next time he left it out... it would make him think she actually followed through since he couldn't listen and freak him out, I don't think it's so rediculous at all... it would actually be pretty effective

I actually think it would have helped too lol. FH is really good about locking his up in a safe as SOON as he walks in the door. I barely ever see it. I'd be pretty uncomfortable with him leaving it around too

diva7531 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 09:23 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG, DH and I have had this talk before too! He left it out once when DD was out of town, but I told him not to get into the habit.
He has a safe, btu he didn't use it that night!

I would hide it the next time he does it! That will teach him a lesson!

TheMrandMrsof2008 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 09:30 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does he have a place to put it? Maybe you can buy him a small gun case for it. Remember.. kill him with kindness!

toniscott Posted: Mar 02, 2008 09:59 AM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have FM

beachprincess Posted: Mar 02, 2008 12:28 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow! I am scared of guns too. Since he is a cop, it is good to have one in the house as protection and all, but I would not want it laying around either. I just had someone who was an Iraq vet. accidentally shoot a bullet through my apartment a year and a half ago and I am lucky to be alive right now. Definitely tell him how you feel. Does he have some kind of locking device on it if he is leaving it out? I dated a security guard once and he had a gun at home, but kept it in his nightstand, so it was not out in the open.

mrspalomino148 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 12:35 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg I am so sorry. Are you home when he gets home? I would just make sure to tell him everytime he walks into the door to put it in the safe, this way he will get into the habit of it after a while and will do it by himself.

jeanne08 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 12:43 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sounds like you've requested several times by yourself. I think it's time to get family members involved maybe he'll listen to his mommy.

040508Bride Posted: Mar 02, 2008 12:46 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks for all of the advice.

If he wasn't working today and I didn't have a million things to do (parents coming for dinner) I would have hid it and told him IDK where it is. I think that will work bc he freaks when he can't find stuff (he's obviously forgetful). The gun does have safety features but the point is this....

if he wants kids out of me, he needs to be a lot more cautious and mindful with ANY device that can take someones life or cause serious harm, i.e., a GUN. there is absolutely NO excuse (unless he somehow becomes paralyzed when he walks through the door) why he shouldn't put that right into the SAFE he spent A LOT OF MONEY on.

Thanks for the support girls!!!!

MJDoc12 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 01:02 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry the gun frightenes you so much and he isn't respectful of that. i bought my DH a gun safe for his weapon and make sure he puts it in there when he comes home from work. only cost about $130 or so.

hopefully that might work for you.

Fall Bride 2008 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 03:59 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE BETTER GET IN THE HABIT OF LOCKING IT UP ESPECIALLY IF YOU GUYS DECIDE ON HAVING CHILDREN.

DLM107 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 04:12 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My DH tends to leave his gun in his belt for his 4 day shift. On his days off he puts it is the safe. He also has an off duty that he has taught me how touse. He also keeps that in the safe. Whether the gun is locked or not it is still dangerous. I get nervous too. Buy him a safe. Good Luck

anamaree77 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 04:23 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree, very irresponsible. Do some research on gun safety line and put it all over the house. Unfortunately, he sounds lazy but i'm sure he doesn't mean to upset you. Also....haha i'd hide the gun too!! I don't think it's ridiculous, it actually might scare him enough to make an impact.

mRm2008 Posted: Mar 02, 2008 05:54 PM

Re: I AM ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH FH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry that FH is not respecting your request of being more responsible on where he leaves his weapon in the house I would talk to him about it once again, even though I know you feel like you shouldn't have to since you've had this convo more than once already. Sometimes when someone is in such a 'habbit' it doesn't even cross their minds. I don't know if I'd bring FMIL into the equation. You guys are starting a new life on your own and need to sort this out together.

A gun safe is the best spot for it, but maybe you could designate a place in the house, even if its in a drawer that its kept out of your sight when he brings it home.

Good luck