I am sad today

My Mom was here for almost a week to help me pick out my wedding dress. Which we did. She left last night to go home.

I realized that I have nothing in common with her. We have no relationship at all. Its so sad. I have this terrible guilty feeling that I dont try harder. She is very generous(sp) paying for the reception and buying my wedding dress. I have guilt over the $she is spending on this wedding esp since FH mom is not helping out at all.

I have had a rough time with my Mom over the past few months.

Does anyone else have any of these issues with their Moms?

Re: I am sad today

I'd rather not go into it, but I am in somewhat the same boat. My mom thinks EVERYTHING else in the world is more important than her daughter (this one, at least) getting married. I, too, have NOTHING in common with her.

Hugs to you

Re: I am sad today

Irishbride- I was raised by my grandmother who had now passed. My mom and I really do not have a relationship at all. We really have nothing in common. I am much closer to my aunts.

During my wedding planning we did NOTHING together and it did not bother me. I have always wondered if in later years I would regret not having a better relationship with her, but to tell you the truth I doubt it.

I am sorry if this post comes off as bitter, but when you do not have that bond first established it is hard to form one now.

Re: I am sad today

I'm sorry I don't have the same issues with my mom but just wanted to send some hugs

Re: I am sad today

Oh my, I have the same relationship with my Mother too. Just yeaterday we had a HUGE blow out, like when I was a kid. I wrote her a 3 page letter last night and left it at her house this morning giving her two options.. eigther appoligise to me and end the caddy BS or disolve the relationship totaly. I hate that I had to do it but it HAS gotten to that point. I am sad too.

Re: I am sad today

Irish bride I really know how you feel. My mom is a very strict irish catholic. All my mom and I do is butt heads about everything. The whole wedding planning process is supposed to be fun. It has been fun for me except when it comes to my mom. Its just so many little things that she does. I really don't think that she realizes how much her comments hurt. I know that my mom loves me. I just think that she was raised to not show emotion.
I have finally come to the conclusion that we are 2 completly different people. We cannot agree on anything. She always has a comment or something rude to say under her breath. Belive me I'm no angel. If I ever have a daughter I am going to try my best to be the complete oppisite of my mom. (Sorry so long)

Re: I am sad today

HI All
I have a little different side of this. It is not me and my mother but rather my FH and his mother! She wants to make our wedding week a vacation for his extended family (family is from different state) and go see plays in the city etc and oops stop by our wedding! So I am sorry to hear about all your moms and I hate the fact that my FMIL is making htis her event not ours!

Re: I am sad today

Oh my Gosh.....I am soooo in the same boat as you!! My parents divorced when I was 15 and I had NEVER been close to my mother (I feel that she was the kind of person that never should have had kids)...my dad re-married and for awhile my stepmom took better care of us than my real mom did. Now that I am getting married, my mother feels she should be involved (even though she's never been there for anything else I ever needed) and it seems like my step-mom could care less about the wedding. My mother promised to buy my dress, well now the bills are coming in and my grandma paid for it. It's now to the point where I feel like I have NO mother (I moved out of my dads' house and into my boyfriends' parents house-now FI- because she and I weren't getting along.) I understand your guilt that she is paying for your wedding and you don't feel close to her.... I know therapy is helping me immensely to deal with a lot of issues. You are not alone! You can love her b/c she's your mom, but there is no law that states you MUST get along or have a relationship with her....I talk to my mother about 1 time a month.

Re: I am sad today