I am so mad at FH

Original post by cantwait2bewed

Jun 16, 2005 09:50 AM

He is mad at me over something so stoopid. hHe hasnt talked to me since Monday. I am so tired of him and his childish ways.

He says i am a breach of security. There is this window in our room that if someone is donw the block they can see rihgt into it. Well many of times he has told me dont change in front of the window. And on Monday night i was changing and the window was half way open. He came upstairs and got so pissed at me. This is where it all began. I tried forcing him to talk to me last night and he wont.

Sometimes i just feel like calling off this whole wedding.

Why do men not communicate with you for days when they are mad at u for something?

Urrrrrrrrr i hate it. I just feel like leaving hime and never coming back.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 10:49 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by kellwolfe

and honey you are his equal Not his CHILD - he should be about to speak to you and explain why he feels some way - he is punishing you cause you didnt do what he wanted you to do ....that is so not right - Your a grown women ....a little respect

You are so right. That is how i feel like he is being vindictive. I hate that.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 10:54 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by jandt2006

oh ok..are you sure your living in the right neighborhood then?

We live in an ok neighborhood but not the best. He has lived there for a long time so he knows how it is.

kellwolfe Posted: Jun 16, 2005 10:57 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Like I said I am so sorry if I am speaking out of place I am just so mad for you right now!

just make sure that you guys work this out because its not right -

I am here is you need anything to talk or what not if you want my # just FM me....

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 10:58 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by kellwolfe

Like I said I am so sorry if I am speaking out of place I am just so mad for you right now!

just make sure that you guys work this out because its not right -

I am here is you need anything to talk or what not if you want my # just FM me....

Thanks so much.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:01 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

He is not speaking to you because you changed in front of the window? I can understand his being upset, but I do not understand why this is causing him not to speak to you for 2 days; thats utterly ridculous. What does he mean breach of security? Does he think someone will break into the house because you are changing? Are there shades on the window? He needs to grow up a little, corner him and FORCE him to talk to you.

cindyandkevin Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:03 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

I just have to say, I don't blame your FI for not wanting you to change in front of an open window. Can't you draw the blinds or curtains, or change in the bathroom. I wouldn't want people looking at me or my FI while changing, so his request seems perfectly legit.

Of course, his matter of handling the situation is all wrong. I don't know why men do that, my FI does it too. You just have to talk to him, initiate a conversation with him and make sure you get everything out. Usually there's something bigger that's really bothering him and he's just using this incident as an 'excuse' to be mad at you.

Maybe he knows that you're having doubts about marrying him, and he could feel the same way about you. It's so important that you figure it all out now, rather than ending up in divorce court a few years down the road.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:05 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

He is not speaking to you because you changed in front of the window? I can understand his being upset, but I do not understand why this is causing him not to speak to you for 2 days; thats utterly ridculous. What does he mean breach of security? Does he think someone will break into the house because you are changing? Are there shades on the window? He needs to grow up a little, corner him and FORCE him to talk to you.

I did corner him this morning and last nite and he wont say anything at all to me. He just sits there. He is acting like such a little boy.

jandt2006 Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:06 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

i am always nervous if i know someone can see me through the blinds, besides seeing me i dont' want them to see what i have in my house. you can never trust anyone, and you never truly know someone, even a good friend can always turn their back on you.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:06 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by cindyandkevin

I just have to say, I don't blame your FI for not wanting you to change in front of an open window. Can't you draw the blinds or curtains, or change in the bathroom. I wouldn't want people looking at me or my FI while changing, so his request seems perfectly legit.

Of course, his matter of handling the situation is all wrong. I don't know why men do that, my FI does it too. You just have to talk to him, initiate a conversation with him and make sure you get everything out. Usually there's something bigger that's really bothering him and he's just using this incident as an 'excuse' to be mad at you.

Maybe he knows that you're having doubts about marrying him, and he could feel the same way about you. It's so important that you figure it all out now, rather than ending up in divorce court a few years down the road.

Thanks for the advice. I guess u are right that I should absolutely not change in front of the window. Sometimes i can be somewhat irresponsible.

jandt2006 Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:07 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by cindyandkevin

I just have to say, I don't blame your FI for not wanting you to change in front of an open window. Can't you draw the blinds or curtains, or change in the bathroom. I wouldn't want people looking at me or my FI while changing, so his request seems perfectly legit.

Of course, his matter of handling the situation is all wrong. I don't know why men do that, my FI does it too. You just have to talk to him, initiate a conversation with him and make sure you get everything out. Usually there's something bigger that's really bothering him and he's just using this incident as an 'excuse' to be mad at you.

Maybe he knows that you're having doubts about marrying him, and he could feel the same way about you. It's so important that you figure it all out now, rather than ending up in divorce court a few years down the road.

i dont' know if U are having doubts cause this surely is bugging you, but do you know if he's having doubts? sorry to be so harsh but we have to cover all angles

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:09 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by jandt2006

i am always nervous if i know someone can see me through the blinds, besides seeing me i dont' want them to see what i have in my house. you can never trust anyone, and you never truly know someone, even a good friend can always turn their back on you.

I talked to his mother who understands him very well and she said that I need to have patience. She says right now he is upset and scared for my safety. He doesnt want anything happening to me and she said that is why he is so angry. Plus he told me 100 times not to do this and I am still not listening to him. So she said i should give him time and things will work out.

jandt2006 Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:10 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

ok..just as long as he's willing to get past it at some point, sometime soon!!

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:10 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by jandt2006

Posted by cindyandkevin

I just have to say, I don't blame your FI for not wanting you to change in front of an open window. Can't you draw the blinds or curtains, or change in the bathroom. I wouldn't want people looking at me or my FI while changing, so his request seems perfectly legit.

Of course, his matter of handling the situation is all wrong. I don't know why men do that, my FI does it too. You just have to talk to him, initiate a conversation with him and make sure you get everything out. Usually there's something bigger that's really bothering him and he's just using this incident as an 'excuse' to be mad at you.

Maybe he knows that you're having doubts about marrying him, and he could feel the same way about you. It's so important that you figure it all out now, rather than ending up in divorce court a few years down the road.

i dont' know if U are having doubts cause this surely is bugging you, but do you know if he's having doubts? sorry to be so harsh but we have to cover all angles

I know that he cant wait to start a family he talks about it all of the time. Its just that everytime we get into an argument and he acts childish i dont feel like i want to deal with it.

kellwolfe Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:14 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

I understand why he is upset and i dont blame him for being up set about that but what i do blame him for is his reaction - thats all -

cindyandkevin Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:16 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

I don't know your FI but I think I can tell what's bothering him. He loves you and a part of that is respecting you. So he resects your body and doesn't want 'the whole neighborhood' to see you change. The fact that you continue to change in front of that open window sends a message to your FI that you don't respect yourself!!! And that can really hurt someone, to love someone that doesn't respect themselves. I think that's what the underlying issue is here, and this one time just set him off. So def talk to him, and stop changing in front of that window!!!

jandt2006 Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:21 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by cindyandkevin

I don't know your FI but I think I can tell what's bothering him. He loves you and a part of that is respecting you. So he resects your body and doesn't want 'the whole neighborhood' to see you change. The fact that you continue to change in front of that open window sends a message to your FI that you don't respect yourself!!! And that can really hurt someone, to love someone that doesn't respect themselves. I think that's what the underlying issue is here, and this one time just set him off. So def talk to him, and stop changing in front of that window!!!

well put!!
keep us updated, we are here for you!

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:37 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by cindyandkevin

I don't know your FI but I think I can tell what's bothering him. He loves you and a part of that is respecting you. So he resects your body and doesn't want 'the whole neighborhood' to see you change. The fact that you continue to change in front of that open window sends a message to your FI that you don't respect yourself!!! And that can really hurt someone, to love someone that doesn't respect themselves. I think that's what the underlying issue is here, and this one time just set him off. So def talk to him, and stop changing in front of that window!!!

I definitely will.

cantwait2bewed Posted: Jun 16, 2005 11:37 AM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Posted by jandt2006

Posted by cindyandkevin

I don't know your FI but I think I can tell what's bothering him. He loves you and a part of that is respecting you. So he resects your body and doesn't want 'the whole neighborhood' to see you change. The fact that you continue to change in front of that open window sends a message to your FI that you don't respect yourself!!! And that can really hurt someone, to love someone that doesn't respect themselves. I think that's what the underlying issue is here, and this one time just set him off. So def talk to him, and stop changing in front of that window!!!

well put!!
keep us updated, we are here for you!

Thanks so much for your advice.

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Jun 16, 2005 12:03 PM

Re: I am so mad at FH

Oh, I'm sorry. I can't believe he's not speaking to you when you live together. You need to tell him to grow up, because he can't keep doing this when you're married. He's going to have to just learn that when he's angry with you about something, you'll have to talk it out.