I am so upset.

I am going to try to be as vague as possible because I dont want to give anyone or anywhere a bad wrap:

I had this great meeting with a wedding planner last week & we were talking about all the details & the DOC stuff-- well-- I always ask for references from vendors. Especially when I looked around A LOT on here & asked lots of brides, past & future if they'd had any experience with this person & I couldnt fint any feed back. So anyhow- I asked someone at the office for a few past brides as references. Then like an hour later I get a phone call from the WP & it was soooo strange. He was trying to convince me not to use him?? What was up with that? So then I called the office to ask what was going on & it was all hush hush& I come to find out that there was a big argument becuase a few people (including the WP) thought it was inappropriate that I asked for references. (I offended him) WHAT?? How is that wrong?? I was really upset- then I called FH & I asked him if he thought I was wrong to ask for references, which I 100% do NOT feel was inappropriate in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM!!! & he goes- I dont think it was necessary & I thnk you should have talked to me about it first.

AM I CRAZY??? Since when is it wrong to ask for a reference for a service that you will be PAYING for on the ONE day of your life that you want to go perfectly?!?!?!?! I am so bummed.

Aw dont be bummed, if its not meant to be then its not...take it as a sign, he prob was mad because maybe they had a bad expierence with other clients and dont want that to get out...IDK...but hope that helps

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Posted by MikeandJess

you've entered the twilight zone. It is very smart to ask for references, if they're offended by it they might be doing shady stuff they don't want you to find out.

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THANK GOD YOU WROTE THAT!! I was starting to think I was going CRAZY!! The thing is-- the guy's been in business for years so I dont get why he'd be so offended!!

Honestly, I'd rather not deal with someone that would be offended by that-- hey when I am totally stressing and super ***** on the day of I dont want someone giving me lip--- but still-- for multiple people in the office to feel i was wrong-- ENOUGH SO TO ARGUE ABOUT ME??? I'm really upset abou this- I feel like i can't show my face there again! How can I do this?

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Posted by mattysgurl616

Aw dont be bummed, if its not meant to be then its not...take it as a sign, he prob was mad because maybe they had a bad expierence with other clients and dont want that to get out...IDK...but hope that helps

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Thanks-- that helps-- I really needed to know that I'm not wrong for asking for a reference. Thank you girls!

I agree with you - it's perfectly reasonable to ask for references from someone who will be so important on your day.

You know what, though? If he's so weird about it, maybe he has something to hide and you're better off not using him.

Just to add:

Would you book a photographer without seeing a portfolio of his work? Would you book a florist without seeing samples? No way. This is the same thing - you're just supposed to trust this person because he seemed cool when you met him? Uh-uh, no way. You did the right thing.

With this being the one day in your life that you want things to go as smooth as possible yes I would ask for references too.. you're paying for a service and in my opinion you have the right to ask for references if you are paying to hire someone. Not just for a DoC coordinator but this goes for any service.

Honestly I think they were really sitting on a high horse when they got offended and you're better off going with someone else. I think they were trying to hide something from you.

If people have good references they are super willing to give them out. If they act sketchy like you WP did, there is a reason. Good thing you went with your gut!

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Posted by MikeandJess

you've entered the twilight zone. It is very smart to ask for references, if they're offended by it they might be doing shady stuff they don't want you to find out.

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I agree. Even the best vendor may have one or two bad reviews. But I'd be weary that maybe there are more than one or two. Check BBB.

oh my - that is ridiculous
i mean its not like you get a trial run - you can only use them for ONE day so of course you need references!

that is WAAAYY shady..you're not crazy at all!! don't be upset!

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Posted by KickinDandelions

that is WAAAYY shady..you're not crazy at all!! don't be upset!

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I agree....very shady!!! ALWAYS asked for references!!!!!

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Posted by MikeandJess

you've entered the twilight zone. It is very smart to ask for references, if they're offended by it they might be doing shady stuff they don't want you to find out.

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i completely agree...to be honest i wouldn't think to ask for references but it's VERY smart that you did, and apparently it was a GREAT thing that you did b/c there is definitely something going on w this guy and you don't want him as your DOC.

don't second guess yourself, you did the right thing and you should call him and tell him that he can go scratch. that is totally unprofessional to get insulted that you want examples of his work. you wouldn't purchase anthing without first seeing what the work is like. that's outrageous.

you're not wrong at all. you should ask your vendor if they can give you a reference and also do your own research, especially if you have some doubts.

you are putting a lot of money in this wedding and it is your right to make sure that you are going to make the right decision.

we met with a vendor who insisted that he did a lot of weddings in watermill and long island so i asked the brides here and no one has heard of him. i also called our banquet manager who never heard of him neither.

there are FARRRRR too many DOC's out there to get hung up on one who is uncomfortable with you checking their references.

I'd say 'NEXT!!!' and move on.