I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Original post by olechka1911

Jun 13, 2007 10:38 PM

Hi girls

I just need to vent. We just came back from our RH. We were paying our final balance today, and, as I predicted, our BM gave us horrible time about giving him ( BM) and others ( Maitre'D, waiters, attendant) tips TODAY, that is before the wedding. I knew we would have this problem with him, as he told us last time to BRING TIPS IN CASH when we pay our balance ( 10 days before the wedding), but I was thinking that we would be able to communicate to him that we want to tip them all AFTER. So, he told us (me, my FH and his parents) that he hopes we have tips today with us, and that all tips have to go through him. My FH started saying that they will get tips AFTER, BM got upset and told us 'WE CAN NOT DO IT'. The argument started.

Then his parents took over, I think they give him cash to shup him up, and he said that ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING AT EXACTLY 9PM (as his office closes at that time)HE WILL GO INTO THE HALL WHERE OUR PARTY WILL BE TO ASK FOR TIPS.

SO i guess we will give them tips before as I DO NOT WANT HIS FILTHY *** IN MY HALL WITH MY GUESTS ASKING FOR THIS F@@@@@@ TIPS

I do not know how to deal with this

Thanks for listening

Vicky423 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:10 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

I agree 100% a tip is up to you and your FH. And its based on the service you recieve the day of.

KellyS15 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:10 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

That is horrible! I would complain to the owner if he is not it!

LB and DC Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:12 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

that is completely unacceptable!!! i have never heard of tipping BEFORE an event - htat happens AFTER!!! you have to go to his boss - that is the most ridiculous, rude, atrocious thing i have ever heard!!!

dgirl Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:17 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

I am soooooo sorry this is happening to you!!! I had the same BM and he wanted tips before the wedding too. I was not going to give them to him but there was a blackout at the hall on the day of the wedding rehearsal so we never got to address it.

He DID come into my wedding and got in an argument with my mom and DH and even cursed at them and called them cheap! All because we wanted to finish the wedding and then do the tips. He PULLED my DH off the dancelfoor!!!!! In the middle of our wedding!!!

This guy is an absolute dirtbag. When we came home from our honeymoon we called the boss there and he completely does not care.

I am soooooo sorry you are going through this! I can't beleive they have the nerve to advertise on here and treat brides this way!!!

I am sooooooo sorry you are dealing with this!!

SusiBtoM Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:17 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

For his horrible and very unprofessional behavior, I would tip the BM $1.00.

Please make sure that you tip the MaitreD' and the Bridal attendant in person. Sounds very shady, almost as if they won't receive their share.

Kind of tacky to ask (strike that) demand the tip in advance for services that have not been rendered yet.
I would find out who the owner is, and write a letter outlining what happened and how unprofessional it is.

At least now, a lot of girls have a heads up about TOTP

SoontobeMrsO Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:18 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Excuse me.. That is totally unacceptable. I would have called his superiors. You tip based on service. I would stand strong and not tip until after the wedding and I wouldn't tip that a$$hole.

Don't get upset and don't let that A$$hole bring you down.

ewickens Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:29 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Posted by olechka1911

But Hun what if he actually comes in and starts argument in front of all the guests?

The same person did that to Dgirl, who had wedding at Terrace in March.

He has no shame, he has nothing to lose

Yes, he does have something to lose - the $$$ from the TIPS!

I made sure to save all the $$$ saved until the reception was over. As my guests were gathering their items, I went to each person and gave them an envelope. Those that I didn't want to tip didn't get a tip envelope from me.

twinkle164 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:30 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

That is awful! That is no way to treat a client. What terrible customer service. Go to his supervisor!

KarinAmanda Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:32 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

tip everyone BUT him thats insane that he is demanding you tip him prior - you tip on the basis of performance. They havent even performed yet!!!

dancerandchef Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:33 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

That sounds crazy. I mean we give tips afterwards for what a wonderful job the workers have done for the wedding. Why is BM expecting a tip. It should go to the Matir'e De where that person splits it evenly to all the waiters and waitresses. If BM wants more business he should not be acting like this. Another point BM should not be arguing with bride and groom and or anyone who is giving him business.

Look forward and enjoy your wedding. It will be beautiful. If there is any problems with and or at the RH take note and report it. We are so sorry that you are going through this. We know it is so not fair.

Best Wishes to the both of you on your special day. If there is anything else we can do FM us.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael

mycrayon1 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:36 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Posted by GabrielleandJohn

Have you gone to his superior? I would not stand for this behavior unless your contract said that tips needed to be paid in full at final payment.

Thats what I was just thinking!!!
EW some people can be so obnoxious and rude!!

BunnyBride Posted: Jun 14, 2007 10:03 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Posted by dgirl

I am soooooo sorry this is happening to you!!! I had the same BM and he wanted tips before the wedding too. I was not going to give them to him but there was a blackout at the hall on the day of the wedding rehearsal so we never got to address it.

He DID come into my wedding and got in an argument with my mom and DH and even cursed at them and called them cheap! All because we wanted to finish the wedding and then do the tips. He PULLED my DH off the dancelfoor!!!!! In the middle of our wedding!!!

This guy is an absolute dirtbag. When we came home from our honeymoon we called the boss there and he completely does not care.

I am soooooo sorry you are going through this! I can't beleive they have the nerve to advertise on here and treat brides this way!!!

I am sooooooo sorry you are dealing with this!!

I just read you review and I'm shocked at how the owners responded to your complaints. The BM was having personal problems!? Who cares!? And who the hell brings there personal problems to the job and harasses customers?! This all sounds so shady

Roed522 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 10:10 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

So sorry to hear you're going through this crap, but remember you've worked too hard & too long to let some low life A$$hole ruin your day. I agree with some of the ladies, he wants his tip, fine give it to him, put $5 in an envelope and send his sorry A$$ on his merry friggin way. I also would not hand him an other envelopes I would gather the staff before hand and tell them they he wants their envelopes but you would prefer to give it to them personally, what are they gonna say no. GL

SherinJeff Posted: Jun 14, 2007 10:15 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Posted by olechka1911

His superior covers for him, I think they share$$$$

There is nothing about tips in my contract, it is optional

There's your answer then..

I wouldnt give him Sh**!!!! I swear to god I wouldnt.

Be nice and cordial up until 9pm.. then have someone you trust go to him and tell him that he is getting JACK because of his behaviour!!!
GMAB!!!!!

carolinebr Posted: Jun 14, 2007 10:33 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Reading this & the review of the other bride makes me want to send HATE MAIL to Terrace on The Park. I am so sorry they are being such a$$holes.

Pencils Posted: Jun 14, 2007 10:42 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

I cannot believe that. It's so horrible, too, because they know you're worried that they will ruin your wedding.

Tell this A-hole that you will not be extorted for money at the cost of your wedding reception. What they are doing is illegal, and they could possibly be prosecuted for it--bring a tape recorder with you and put it on the table and tape the next conversation. Tell them that they will get tips for GOOD service, and as of now you have not received good service, so they had better make up for it at the reception, or they are getting nothing. Also, $600-$800 is too much money for 100 guests. Personally, I wouldn't tip the BM at all, I'd try to make sure that the servers got their tips, and let him go scratch.

Also, I'd call the Better Business Bureau, the Department of Consumer Affairs, whatever consumer reporters you can find, like Help Me Howard (if he's still on, I don't watch news programs much.) And think seriously about contacting law enforcement, as I really believe they're trying to extort money from you. It's shameful.

Good luck.

denadewolf Posted: Jun 14, 2007 11:03 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

You need to call the owner!!! He might be pulling a scam. I worked at a sewsome restaurnat in Detroit and their was an assisitnat managaer who always asked for the tips before any party. truns out the owner had a couple of 'dummy' parties and he gave the host a certain amount and each wait staff. Come to find out the mangaer was taking money off the top (she wasn't supposed to get tipped. You can tip who ever you want???
Ask him how many waitstaff will be at your party. Instruct him to give each a certain amount to each person and also tell him he is not to get a dime!!!

olechka1911 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 11:20 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Thank You everybody once again for your support & suggestions

I am feeling much better now, and I kinda know the plan for us on what to do next ( getting management involved, etc) AND I AM READY TO FIGHT

Love you all

LB and DC Posted: Jun 14, 2007 11:24 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Posted by olechka1911

Thank You everybody once again for your support & suggestions

I am feeling much better now, and I kinda know the plan for us on what to do next ( getting management involved, etc) AND I AM READY TO FIGHT

Love you all

good for you!!! you are definitely doing the right thing!!!

dgirl Posted: Jun 14, 2007 11:42 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Posted by BunnyBride

Posted by dgirl

I am soooooo sorry this is happening to you!!! I had the same BM and he wanted tips before the wedding too. I was not going to give them to him but there was a blackout at the hall on the day of the wedding rehearsal so we never got to address it.

He DID come into my wedding and got in an argument with my mom and DH and even cursed at them and called them cheap! All because we wanted to finish the wedding and then do the tips. He PULLED my DH off the dancelfoor!!!!! In the middle of our wedding!!!

This guy is an absolute dirtbag. When we came home from our honeymoon we called the boss there and he completely does not care.

I am soooooo sorry you are going through this! I can't beleive they have the nerve to advertise on here and treat brides this way!!!

I am sooooooo sorry you are dealing with this!!

I just read you review and I'm shocked at how the owners responded to your complaints. The BM was having personal problems!? Who cares!? And who the hell brings there personal problems to the job and harasses customers?! This all sounds so shady

I know! It's beyond inappropriate. Even to this day my mom and DH get so mad when they think about it. Even looking at the pictures someone always brings it up.

Olga - good luck to you. I am so glad that you are going to fight it. Some of the girls on here said that they would make someone else aware of the situation so that they deal with him on the day. I definitely recommend that. If we had known and my uncle, or brother, or dad saw what was going on, our BM would have been running away from them but it all happened so fast and my mom and Dh were so preoccupied with the party and not wanting to make a scene that they unfortunately had to deal with him.