I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Original post by olechka1911

Jun 13, 2007 10:38 PM

Hi girls

I just need to vent. We just came back from our RH. We were paying our final balance today, and, as I predicted, our BM gave us horrible time about giving him ( BM) and others ( Maitre'D, waiters, attendant) tips TODAY, that is before the wedding. I knew we would have this problem with him, as he told us last time to BRING TIPS IN CASH when we pay our balance ( 10 days before the wedding), but I was thinking that we would be able to communicate to him that we want to tip them all AFTER. So, he told us (me, my FH and his parents) that he hopes we have tips today with us, and that all tips have to go through him. My FH started saying that they will get tips AFTER, BM got upset and told us 'WE CAN NOT DO IT'. The argument started.

Then his parents took over, I think they give him cash to shup him up, and he said that ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING AT EXACTLY 9PM (as his office closes at that time)HE WILL GO INTO THE HALL WHERE OUR PARTY WILL BE TO ASK FOR TIPS.

SO i guess we will give them tips before as I DO NOT WANT HIS FILTHY *** IN MY HALL WITH MY GUESTS ASKING FOR THIS F@@@@@@ TIPS

I do not know how to deal with this

Thanks for listening

Jkiesel Posted: Jun 13, 2007 11:35 PM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Dude........find the head guy.............I've never heard of tipping before. He sounds lke the rudest person ever.

milana Posted: Jun 13, 2007 11:36 PM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

olya can you speak to the general manager? There has to be a way to settle this and put this pig in his place

ggcopying Posted: Jun 13, 2007 11:47 PM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

you should not tip that A hole but maybe you can pull your matrid D aside before the wedding and tell her you will tip her but you don't want to give the tip to that A hole in case he put the tip in his own pocket.
and after the wedding, you should def. file a complain and post a review here to let other brides know.

BrideInBlue Posted: Jun 14, 2007 12:05 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

since there is nothing in your contract about tips and a tip is a voluntary gratuity given for good service what he is doing to you verges on extortion. I would almost say I would contact a lawyer or something.
Its just so insane, whatever happens I hope your wedding is everything you hope for and that he doesn't give you any problems that day.

JIFFY Posted: Jun 14, 2007 12:10 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

I just FM'd you with a whole ton of things you can do. My favorite is to make flyers of how horrible the place is and put them on every car in the Fortunoff parking lot.

Call a lawyer- do something but don't give in to this @sshole. And when you give him his envelope- stuff it with Monopoly money.

luvabul Posted: Jun 14, 2007 12:12 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

i agree

what the hell

PegaLega Posted: Jun 14, 2007 12:15 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

I would tell him-point blank-you will get your tip when my day is over. If this is how you are treating me NOW what makes me think you wont do it the day of!!! I would also tell him to look the word 'tip' up in the dictionary it is NOT mandatory and is a show of gratitude of a job well done.

Im sorry he is acting and treating you that way. Shiiit if he was my BM i would tell him to start that fight in front of my guests...he would go down in a blaze of friggin glory i can tell you that much

glass012 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 12:26 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Do you mind FMing the name of your BM? I'm also having my wedding at Terrace on the Park and when i read about Dgirl's problem with them i was very apprehensive and now ithis! I'm getting very, VERY nervous!

bettybcafe Posted: Jun 14, 2007 07:01 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

Wow..what a jerk. They are not suppose to demand tips from you...tips are not mandatory....
I would def. go to his superior because he should not be treating you guys that way.....how could he threaten you like that..thats ridiculous

Nina_m74 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 07:50 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

He is being completely unreasonable! IT's a TIP, not payment - with his behaviour he deserves NOTHING!

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this

E and B123 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 07:50 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

That is just disgusting business practice...Have you tried to reach the owner regarding this?...I have no more advice to add to what you have already gotten but I do want to offer you alot of for what you are going through...I hope things turn around....

Irishny8 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 08:00 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

I am sooooooooo sorry that you are going thru this! I can't believe he is demanding tips to be paid before your wedding! I just think that is ridiculous. Tell him that you will put the tips for everybody in specific envelopes for everybody and will hand them out yourself. IF he dares to cause a scene at your wedding, you need to have a meeting with the owners and him and then report him to the BBB! That is apalling!!! THis is the last t hing you need to be worried about!

jenn122397 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 08:08 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

who would ask for tips BEFORE the date??? I mean I know people probably have a general idea of what they will give but you have to see how their service is first - the whole purpose of a tip!!

dont let this ruin your wedding day - i would ask to speak to a manager/owner to discuss this

MF9282 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 08:11 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

WOW!!! That is ludicrous I have never heard of such a thing! I totally get you wanting to give him the $ now to shut his nasty mouth up but that seems so strange? I believe gratuities (BM, maitre'd, waiters and waitresses...are Included in my price it was that or have to pay out night of. Can your best man mb hold the $$ and pay this dirt bag at 9:00 ? Make him wait!

njbound07 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 08:18 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

there was another bride on here who recently got married there.. and complained about the samething... she complained about him going into their ballroom during their reception and asking and getting into an agrument with the groom for tips!

if you ask me.. I would give them $hit! and if they come to you during your reception... looking for tips that is optional and NOT required then after the wedding I would see about pressing charges for harrassment (if it's possible). Tell the BM, that after his attitude, his staff does not deserve a tip.

acsm Posted: Jun 14, 2007 08:50 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

wow! sounds shady..

but if you are worried that the tips may not make it to the right people. maybe mention it to them after the party that you left x amount of money with the guy and he intends to distribute it.. this way at least you said something and then whatever happens happens..

definintely hand it to him beforehand.. you dont need that crap the day of...

B22 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 08:52 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

omg!!! there is someone else on here who had the same problem with that place. I'll see if I can find the post...

basically the BM was giving her a hard time AT HER WEDDING about the tips.

look buddy-- tips are given for GOOD SERVICE. How are you going to predict how the service will be???

I say give them NOTHING.

NY031978 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 08:54 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

id give 10$ to each person....hahha....then on the day of give what you think they deserve!! Who are they to tell you when do give the money???

olechka1911 Posted: Jun 14, 2007 09:08 AM

Re: I am so upset- do not want the wedding anymore,serously

I am feeling so low in the morning today Could not close my eyes at night at all Thank You girls for your advice & support

Anybody who wants to know names, FM me. I will reply back