Once this happened to me, I knew that I had to come on here and talk to you girls...
a little background..
FH lived with this really nice guy his senior year in college - they had been friends their entire 4 years because of being on the football team together- I met him my junior year and his girlfriend, who is now his FW. We all hung out together our senior year- like a lot. She and I actually drove through a blizzard together to see them play in their last playoff game. Anyway, what I'm trying to say, is that all 4 of us are extremely good friends.
Well, we got their wedding invitation today and it said 'Mr. Matthew XXXX and GUEST' and GUEST???? I could not believe it. And guest?? Like who else do they think he is going to bring? And aren't we all friends? I am beyond upset and seriously hurt by this. Am I nuts for feeling this way???? I just cannot believe this. It's not like they don't know me or my name or anything like that, which is why I'm sick over it. I just feel really hurt.
ETA: FH is in the wedding party
krisa1129
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
A very similar thing happened to me, and FH thought I was overreacting. His 'fake' cousin, whom we used to hang out with all of the time before they moved, sent him an invite to her wedding and didn't write my name on it. I always had my suspicions that she didn't like me, but I knew she didn't after that. We had been living together for 4 years....it was rude.
I feel your pain....
LImama
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
Hey Tricia maybe send it back from 'Matt and his Mystery Guest' and see if they call to ask what's up with that!... People are either rude or thoughtless or just dumb (?) but I would try to make it funny and don't let it get you down.
Maybe they were told if it's not 'Mr. & Mrs.' it's 'Mr. & Guest', but even so, if you are all friends then they should have included your name or sent you a separate invitation!
Pencils
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
It's rude, but, maybe they don't know etiquette--they might think that if you're not married, you're a 'guest.' Of course that isn't true if you're engaged, living together, or even a very long-time couple not living together.
It's better to think of them as ignorant than rude! It's possible that the bride's mother did the invitations, too. Don't worry about it, and if it's bothering you, why not make a joke about it to the bride? It will let her know that you didn't appreciate being a 'guest,' but it wouldn't make you rude like they were.
GettinHutched
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
I would agree with Pencils- ignorant, definitely! I would have been upset too though!
MattandTricia07
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
Thank you to everyone for all of your kind words and support! You don't know how much better all of your responses have made me feel.
I honestly just can't believe this. Matt did write an email to the groom. He first made a joke and said something along the lines of, got your invite, can I bring someone besides tricia since it said 'and guest' and then he wrote: 'I thought we were all good friends and close enough for you guys to put her name on the invitation' So we shall see what happens- I will keep you posted.
Again, thank you girls. I have come to rely on you all so much. Although I may not 'know' all of you, I feel as though you are my 'group of girlfriends' who I know are all here no matter what- that means so much to me, especially in times like these.
bonitachyc
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
what a great way to bring it up! not in a mean way, but definitely bringing light to the matter - let us know what the groom responds!
Cpt2007
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
UGH! I would be so upset!!!! You have every right to feel that way. I would have your FH make a comment to them like, 'what's up with the 'and guest' on the invite? did you think we broke up or something?' seriously, i would make it abundantly clear that you're upset by this. it's absolutely within your rights to do so.
Jenn n Lance
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
That's happened to me w/ couples who've been together for about 30 seconds, meanwhile we've been together for 7 years 'Lance and Guest' Really, I just thought it was retarded & didn't care too much. I'll 'and guest' them or something when I do my invites Sometimes it's the parents making out the invitations, and they just don't know.
Kara and Todd
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
Wow, that's just ridiculous! I'm sorry - I would be upset, too.
We went out of our way to find the names of our friend's SOs if we didn't know them before addressing our invitations. People who were only dating casually were invited 'and guest' (b/c honestly a 2 week relationship isn't guaranteed to last the next few months, lol)... However, someone engaged, we'd totally make sure to find out their names.
A friend of FH's is getting married the week before us. We went out of our way to find out her first and last name for the wedding invite (even though they can't come). I have a feeling, they will not put my name on the invite -- and even though I'm anticipating it, I'm already upset that they haven't even asked my name!
If we were all good friends, I'd be even MORE upset.
kris01
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
that is sooo rude!!!! I am soo sorry this happened!!! It's not like she didn't know your name!!!!
Mooshyboo
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
i hear ya ~ actually i have had this happen also my fiance was invited with Guest... hellllooo we are getting married ~ people just don't think
th24s
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
Don't take it personally. Either they did not do the invitations or they had a brain fart. You know how much goes into a wedding, maybe you should give her some slack. JMO
SusiBtoM
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
That's just rude. I am making sure that I have all of the 'guests' names so I do not have to write and guest on the invites and on the escort cards.
We recently received an invite to a communion party addressed the same way. Mr. M --- and guest. SHE KNOWS ME FOR FOUR YEARS AND HAS BEEN IN MY HOUSE ! Some people just don't hink.
denadewolf
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
I would be upset too. When planning my wedding we made a conscious effort to include all the names of significant others. My one friend has only been dating his girl for about two months but she bbq with us a couple times and I did not want to not make her feel like I didn't equally enjoy her company!!! She must not realize how impersonal that is. Don't think anyone would do that on purpose just to be rude!!!
CrazyLove
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
Not cool at all. Maybe someone else address the invitations for them.
I would be really hurt in that situation.
jeanla4c
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
Sorry I missed your call about this...K and I stopped to see a friend's band on the way home....looks like you got the support you needed here! Talk to you soon!
mycrayon1
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
Posted by medic6809
That is beyond rude......When we made out our invites we found out the names for our guests sig others. Even if we had never met them it was important to us they did not feel like a guest, but a part of the party
We did our best to do the same thing. If we knew that someone was engaged we made it out toe Mr. and Mrs. Don't get me wrong there were a few who I couldn't get and so they went out as & Guest, but not in my bridal party. I'm sorry that happened there may be a reason for it that you don't know. I would put on the rsvp your full name with your FH's that way when they make out the place cards your name is on there too.
lilangel
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I do feel that you have every right to feel this way. This is why I made a point to have everyone’s names on my invitations just to avoid something like this. See if you can talk to them to find out why they couldn’t include you on the invitation.
ETAB
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
I am sure I messed up with some people as well, but honestly I was so happy I got the addresses at that point I just wanted to send them. It would have taken me forever to get everyones significant others last name.... It is still rude, but I know I did it and not to be mean just because I wanted to get them out...
JennysMOH
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Re: I cannot believe this- I am so upset
Oh that is horrible. I don't understand why they would do that. I can't even give a reason for something like that especially if they know you. Plain rudeness.
