So I'm tracking all of the RSVPs. And I've got a system of doing it/relaying the results. But FFIL didn't like the way I was doing it and asked to have it done differently. I told him that the way i'm doing it is easist for me and this is how i'm going to do it. he said its just as easy to do it his way. i told him that we should have gone back to the original (stupid) plan which was that his RSVPs would go to him and mine would go to me. That was my FIL's stupid idea that i hated from the start. I never would have opted to split RSVPs but after all this crap, i've learned that every time i try to do something nice, to try to help, it bites me in the @ss. So Then he starts scolding me like i'm five - in front of his entire extended family - that I'm very disrespectful. I told him to stop scolding me because he's not my father. he made a scene. then i turned to FH and told him that I wanted to leave NOW. He asked for me to give him a few minutes to speak to his dad. Fine. He comes back and tells me to go talk with his father. We go outside and his father starts up with something completely unrelated - I dismiss what he says and just ask what else can i do for him. Here's the convo:
Him: Why are you acting like this?
Me: B/c you and FMIL have made me miserable (they already knew this) planning this wedding and I don't want to deal with it anymore.
Him: Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're just a miserable person in general?
Me: Yes, of course I'm miserable. My mom is dead and I want her at my wedding. I miss her. Yes, I am miserable.
Him: People die. DEAL WITH IT.
FH & I left and said our goodbyes to the extended family. He didn't acknowledge his dad for the rest of the night.
scappy123
Posted:
Member since
Re: i can't believe FFIL said this....need hugs.
That was a very rude and insensitive remark on his part.
MrsH1156
Posted:
Member since
Re: i can't believe FFIL said this....need hugs.
I don't think I even have words for what I think of your FFIL right now. Obviously he is missing a huge portion of sensitivity and I just pray that he never loses anyone close to him and then expect people to understand his grief. He's a piece of crap for saying that to you and I think he owes you one huge apology. Even after the apology, I doubt I would want any kind of relationship with him. I'm sorry if that seems harsh but being someone who lost her own Mom 4 1/2 years ago, I can 100% identifiy with part of what you are going through. I'm so, so sorry he said that to you.
What an @ hole. This is your wedding- do what you want. Stand up for yourself now or else they will do this for the rest of your marriage. I am getting married for the second time. First time me and ex-MIL.....No good. It was part of the reason why I wanted out. Put him in his place now. Take a deep breath, talk to your mom and ask her to help you out. She will in a way that she can. Be receptive and you will know when she is with you. We are all with you- Good luck with everything. Oh and always keep a cool head when dealing with him. Part of the reason they keep annoying you is bc they 'get off' on getting you upset. BIG HUGS!!!!!
