I can't believe this is happening.............(UPDATED)

Original post by FullersBride

Jun 06, 2007 12:16 AM

Well It is 23 days before we close on our new house
45 days before our wedding.
I have to move to CT byt he end of August
I have to look for a new job
Pack up our townhouse myself
and move to a town where I've never been; I don't even know how to get to my new house!
FH has been slacking off for the last few weeks and my mother calls me today to tell me:

After 27 years of marriage she is DiVORCING MY FATHER

I've been so stressed for the last few weeks and now this, I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown. I'm so upset I don't want to buy the house or get married. I feel like I want to curl up in a little hole where everyone can just leave me alone. I'm feel so hopeless girls I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm always the happy positive one in my family and I feel as if all the life has been ****** out of me and drained away. I feel like my heart has been broken into a million little pieces and I will never feel happy again.

I don't mean to DUMP on anyone or vent but I feel so lost and heartbroken.

(UPDATE:)
I thank EVERYONE of you for your tremendous support and well wishes. I came up to CT for a few days. I have a Dress fitting tomorrow and my final florist appointment tomorrow. I'm still very sad. I'm pretty much just very angry and numb right now. My mom keeps trying to talk but I'm not ready. I'm thinking that the day of the wedding I may not want to get dressed in my parents house. I'm so uncomfortable here now, its really strange and sad.

FH has been great!!! He started doing stuff and has finally realized I can't do it all anymore. He extended the lease on the townhouse so I don't have to do the move before the wedding and he took the Wedding binder from me today and is going to start working on more wedding stuff. In the meantime I keep praying that I will be happy again in a few weeks.

Many Of you ask why my mom did this now?? I ask myself the same question. I knew they were having problems. My father has some issues he needs to resolve and has yet to do so. THe sad thing is that my mother is very much in love with him, but is tired of getting her heart broken by him because he doesn't take care of himself.

I don't know if they will work this out. I don't have the strength to even talk to my mom about this right now. I just pray that I start to feel happy again sometime soon and can learn to take care of myself.

I love you all, you have all bea a TREMENDOUS source of strength and hope for me and for that you will ALL hold a special place in my heart.

Thanks Again
~Maria~

SusiBtoM Posted: Jun 06, 2007 09:00 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

So sorry to hear about that. I don't know what to say.
Jsut don't stress out. This is something that you can't control. Hopefully your parents can work out their problems.
and

Nina_m74 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 09:04 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

I'm so sorry

take a deep breathe and allow yourself to grieve, I'm sure you are feeling totally overwhelemed right now, but just take one thing at a time. Ask FH for some help and support, I'm sure he'll be there for you.

You will get through this and you will have a wonderful wedding and new home

LB and DC Posted: Jun 06, 2007 09:25 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

i am so sorry to hear that! i can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. you are in my thoughts and prayers

and don't apologize for wanting to vent! that is what we are all here for!

B22 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 09:37 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

oh no hunny!!!

I cant imagine how much stress this is causing you!! please try not to let it break your strength... Curl up and CRY!!! then wipe your tears and continue your plans..

big hugs

magbride Posted: Jun 06, 2007 09:51 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

OMG...I'm so sorry to hear this

sassygirl9 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 09:54 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

08er crashing......

I'm sorry you are going through this. How sad for your parents to go through this right now. Try to pull yourself together, whether it means going somewhere and walking around to get some air, getting your nails and feet done and think about how to talk to future husband about helping you more. I'm sure he will be your shoulder to cry on. Just tell him how you feel.

PattyK Posted: Jun 06, 2007 10:22 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this right now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

Soon2beMrsH Posted: Jun 06, 2007 10:54 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

I am so sorry. You will be in my thoughts.

BrideToBe24 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 10:56 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

BrideChrissy Posted: Jun 06, 2007 10:58 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

awwww I'm soooo sorry to hear this... I know how stressed you must be going through all of this right now but everything will work out. U do want to move into your new house and you DO want to get married. We are all here for you.

iamvocal72 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 10:59 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

Posted by mrspatry

Sorry to hear that, but I live in CT and if we are in the same area I would be more then happy to show you around.

Oh sweetie, it will be OK. Where are you moving to? I also live in CT and would LOVE to show you around or help you out. I can always use a new friend!

Take a day to be sad. Take a day to curl up in a ball and just veg, you need it. Then tomorrow get up and go. If you need help - ASK FOR IT! No one can read your mind.

It will all work out for the best. Accept where you are, take some deep breaths and know that your parents marriage is something that is beyond your control.

Good luck!

billandme Posted: Jun 06, 2007 11:18 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

Posted by Jennifer907

I'm so sorry sweetie. I'm a firm believer in 2 things. The first is everything happens for a reason. And the second is that you will come out of this a much stronger person.

I agree completely!

I'm sorry that this had to come out so close to your wedding. The timing was very bad Just take it one day at a time.......it will be easier for you since you have so much on your plate right now. If you need your time to be by youself, then definitley do it! It really does help to clean the mind.

Again, here are some more If I lived by you I would offer to help you with whatever you needed.............

Be strong chickie!

CrazyLove Posted: Jun 06, 2007 11:20 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

I'm so sorry to hear that. Don't let this stress you out. Stay focused and everything will work out.

thelastresort Posted: Jun 06, 2007 11:40 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

That is so much for you to handle right now! Hang in there! It WILL get better!

MattandTricia07 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 11:43 AM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

I am so sorry. No words can make this better, but know that we are all here for you.

malagian Posted: Jun 06, 2007 01:52 PM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

Im so sorry to hear about your parents. I went thru the same thing 4 years ago and its very stressful. FM me if you want to chat. Hang in there.

lilangel Posted: Jun 06, 2007 02:02 PM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

I am so sorry you had to find out about this before your special day. I know how much it hurts. My mother went through two marriages that didn't work out and I was very attached to the both of them. I resented my mother, father and my mothers old lover for some time. talk to your mother also and try to find out why she feels it wont work between her and your father.

Please don't let this put a negative view on marriages. I know it is hard to do but don't. Look at what made their relationship fail and work to never to make those same mistakes. Make promises to yourself and your Fh to always try to work things out.

Never go to bed angry at each other.
Always remember to say I love you.
Always cherish the small things that happen.

I hope that some light shines on you in this time of darkness and confusion.

SherinJeff Posted: Jun 06, 2007 02:33 PM

Re: I can't believe this is happening.............

I am SO sorry your parents are doing this ..NOW of all times. They couldnt wait a couple of months? How selfish!

Having said that. You go on and have a wonderful life. Move into your home and marry the man you love.
your parents life has nothing to do with your love...

btw.. I WISH my parents would have gotten a divorce. My mother has always been miserable... but she never left. Now she is 68 and stuck with a man that is still mean to her after being married for 48 years. All she does is complain about him to me... and it at times makes me feel guilty that I am happy.. but you know what... I am MAKING my own hapiness. Like she couldve.. and perhaps what your mom is doing.
I just think she shouldve waited till after the wedding.

Remember..its not the end of the world. Im sure it hurts right now.. but Hopefully both your parents will be happier in the long run.