I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

Original post by tiffandmatt

Oct 11, 2006 01:36 PM

We didn't have one, basically to save money. So now I'm thinking I missed out. If you don't mind how much did yours cost....do you think I made the wrong choice? It seems like it would have been really great to have.

JenMike331 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 03:30 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

didnt have one....i never really liked the idea....weddings and preparation for weddings are so expensive for everyone i always felt like it was more money being spent for the people invited so i never wanted to do it for myself....i dont feel i missed out at all....we went out to eat with our parents and that i felt celebrated the engagement in a perfectly simple way

tiffandmatt Posted: Oct 11, 2006 05:28 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

Posted by JenMike331

didnt have one....i never really liked the idea....weddings and preparation for weddings are so expensive for everyone i always felt like it was more money being spent for the people invited so i never wanted to do it for myself....i dont feel i missed out at all....we went out to eat with our parents and that i felt celebrated the engagement in a perfectly simple way

That is a really nice way to celebrate!

toniscott Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:18 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I had one, and I loved it! It was b/c our wedding is far away, if we were getting married within a year I would have skipped it and bought my dream wedding dress (Eve of Milady)

But no you didn;tmiss anything, your just building anticipation for your wedding day!!!

Jesses Girl Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:18 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

we are having one because my parents wanted to pay for it...my parents can only help a little with the wedding so we will be paying for most of that.

then FH's parents said that they would pay 1/2 for the eparty.

i think it is a personal choice...and it was a nice gesture from my parents...they kno that i will not be getting married til 2008 and they wanted me to be able to celebrate. if it werent for them paying, i would not be having one.

and i also dont think that people find it to be a burden. out of all the people that i have invited under 15 have said no(out of towners)...so people want to celebrate with us.

either way...it is up to u. if u decided not to have one...be happy with ur decision! ur wedding will be here b4 u kno it! its not too late to do a dinner if u decided u want one. screw etiquette. haha

HTH

citycrab705 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:22 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

i didn't have one, and personally i don't believe in having one, all the important people will know you are engaged and congratulate you, and most family members sent me a card with a check inside,
i feel its just another event for them to have to give you a gift and they will be giving plenty down the line,
again this is just my opinion

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:22 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I probably won't be having one either, and I won't feel like I'm missing out. I don't want people to feel like they must give us an engagement present. Those who want to will give gifts, anyway, but I don't want anyone to feel obligated.

Plus, we'll be congratulated by those closest to us, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on that either. I have never known anyone personally who did anything more than a little party for close friends and family at their house or their parents' house... but I know e-parties are pretty common.

kat74 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:24 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I didn't have one either-- its expensive to throw one & I do think a lot of people end up getting annoyed and give less ultimately.

A lot of people on his side were generous and gave us gifts even though we didn't throw a party--- that was really nice! (it kinda made my family look cheap though!!! )

snydl40 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:37 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

My parents mostly paid-we paid a little and FH's mom paid a little. We made a lot of $ and had a blast-but I really don't think it's necessary.

mskittynj Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:43 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I had a really small backyard party, It cost about $700 with evrything. I got about 1/2 back with the gifts we got. I'm glad I did it, it wasn't a huge deal but I think I would've regretted if I didin't, You only live once!!! You can do something really small!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty

Shmar Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:46 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I wasn't going to have one because my famliy never did that. but we are having one because all of my friends have had one, so i thought why not....i'm lucky that they are paying for it, but it is still a big expense.

billandme Posted: Oct 11, 2006 06:55 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

We had one. My MOH and her husband (groomsman) hosted it for us. It was really fun!! We had a luau theme........

There were about 50 people there, but I have NO clue what it cost. I never asked my MOH ;) It was really fun though and I'm glad we did it. It was a great opportunity for the wedding party to meet each other (if the hadn't already met).

It's definitely not important to have......just a bonus ;)

Mdolph6 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 07:05 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I didnt have one either and I felt alittle that I missed out but then we just saved so much more money that I am ok now with that decision.

GabrielleandJohn Posted: Oct 11, 2006 07:08 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I had an engagement PARTY. We had a keg and jello shots, beer pong and a bbq. It was awesome but we love parties and any chance to have one we will. It cost about $600 and my mom paid for it. We had no idea and then she said hey let me go shopping with you and then paid the bill. We made all the kabobs and salads and burgers and stuff ourselves. FH and I made chocolate dipped bride/groom strawberries. It was a blast. Family at 4 friends at 7. But I dont think you missed anything. We just love parties.

Kaytea Posted: Oct 11, 2006 07:12 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I didnt have one either and it's no big deal.

I think the majority of guests would be annoyed having to get 3 gifts: engagement party, shower, wedding! It's a little too much.

LandsEnd06 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 07:15 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I didn't have one either. I don't feel like I missed out.

stoebe07 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 07:42 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I had mine at my future inlaws house. We had the food catered. We only had about 50 guests. It was under $500-

AllJoy Posted: Oct 11, 2006 08:28 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

We had a small one in our friend's backyard. Our Best man maid it for us. At first I was completely against one, cause I don't beleive in them either. I would have been just as happy having someone take us out to dinner, but no one did (except my aunt a month later) I lost my parents and FH's are in the twilight zone, so I would never expect them to take us out to dinner to celebrate. (they should no better, but I won't even go there). It was a nice party and I'm glad we had it.

NY031978 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 09:03 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

i didnt have 1......there was no way we could of added that in to our wedding Budget! i wish we did but im ok that we didnt!

HelenZ Posted: Oct 11, 2006 09:11 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

I didn't really want to have an e-party, I just wanted to go to dinner with maybe the bridal party & immediate family. But FH has a big family so just immediate family alone for him is almost 30 people.....we found a place with a good price, so we ended up inviting more people than we originally anticipated. I'm happy we're having one b/c I want our families to meet, but it's definitely not necessary to have a party.

SoinLoveRwe2 Posted: Oct 11, 2006 09:22 PM

Re: I didn't have an engagment party...did I miss out?

We had one- just this week. I don't think you missed out at all- but we did have a really great time. Everyone loved that they could come and celebrate with us- especially since we won't be having the wedding for 2 years-- We had a cocktail party at a restaurant with about 125 people-- there was no dancing or anything so it wasn't like a wedding- but we did have a band and a photographer. It was a good way to get our feet wet & know what we're up against for the wedding planning, that's for sure! After all was said and done the party was a little over $7000- it was a great time & everyone is talking about how much fun they had- it was also nice to see that our families would get along so well at the wedding since they hit it off at the eparty!

ETA: we got a little over what we spent in gifts so we didn't lose on it- but if you are starting to plan your wedding I wouldn't throw it into the mix. It's one of those things that would be great if you did have it-- but you're not missing out by not having it either.