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I don't know what to do....

beautyq115 Posted:

I don't know what to do....

Kiddo115 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

I don't think it's unreasonable at all for you to want him not to come by. Like you said, he let the cat out of the bag... so now that you know about it, you should atleast get to enjoy the day and keep it all about you

I say give em' hell Kathleen!

Could you try chatting with your brother about it? Would he understand at all?
cindyandkevin Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

Sorry to hear that Kath, your feelings are totally understandable!! Have a talk with your brother and try to make him see your point of view, ask him to not make a big announcement if he does come to your shower.

And if all else fails, when the time comes for your new FSIL's shower announce that your PG!! Even if you're not, no one's going to know!!
DrBeLLaRoSe Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

i think that you are right and your brother should not come to the shower. However, if he must come, then it should be at the very very end to help pack up the gifts and take them home.

i am going to ask my mother not to bring my brother to my shower either. so i guess i am a beotch too
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

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beautyq115 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

Kris516 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

I think asking him to stop by for lunch is a little unreasonable. Can you convince your mom to have him come in at the end to greet family and help cart out gifts?? It's a shower - no men allowed!!

SIBride06 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

Kat.. NO you are NOT being unreasonable. In fact, I would be the same EXACT way. I know how you feel because I've been through somewhat of a situation like yours. My FH proposed to me while we were on a cruise. I couldn't wait to get back home to spread the happy news with the family. Turns out, that I get home only to find out that one of his cousins got engaged the same day. needless to say.. I had to share in my happiness

Your shower is a day for Kathleen & Katheen ONLY (and your FH, of course). Your brother will have many more opportunities to share the happy news.. he will have his day. This weekend is for you. Your brother should understand that.
Steph62406 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

I don't blame you I would be upset also!!!! Sorry you are going threw this..Hope you have a wonderful shower!!!

Happybride2005 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

i agree with 2 of the girls...he should come at the end. don't worry, the day will be all ab out u
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

Thanks Ladies
CC59 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

Posted by DrBeLLaRoSe

i think that you are right and your brother should not come to the shower. However, if he must come, then it should be at the very very end to help pack up the gifts and take them home.

i am going to ask my mother not to bring my brother to my shower either. so i guess i am a beotch too


I agree!

Jeez..my brother didn't want to go anyplace near my shower!

Does your brother really want to get involed in the shower or do you think he just wants attention?
sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

imo, its not about him. aren't there other family events where he can 'announce' the engagement? imo, its weird to have him stop by...

PrincessConsuela Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

tell your mother it is YOUR shower you dont want him there end of story it is your day!!!!!!!
klingklang77 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

tell your mom that for as long as you have been envisioning your shower, you never saw your brother stopping by and having lunch! it is fine if he comes at the end, but IMO having him stop by or lunch is a bit strange.

SweetCin704 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

Oh Kathleen I'd be sooo upset if I was you. This is supposed to be YOUR big day, not a time for your bro to make his engagement announcement to extended family (NOT fair!!!) I think you have a right to be angry/upset.

Like the other girls said, maybe if he came at the very end just to put gifts in the car, but that is random, even for FH to come in the middle of a shower to 'have lunch.'

I'd talk the situation over with your brother/mom. They need to see things from your perspective.

October Bliss Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

What did you say to your mom that she thinks your being a beotch???

I mean really, isn't the shower supposed to be about YOU?? Is it a couples shower? Is that why she thinks it's okay for your brother to just 'stop by' on his lunch hour??

Does she understand how upset you are that he completely screwed up the surprise??

I think you need to talk to your mom again, and talk to your brother and threaten him with death (or ruining every single surprise planned for his wedding) in the event he shows his face AT ALL!!!
LaurenluvsTJ Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

I don't think he should be stopping by, the shower is a 'ladies only' thing. Just tell your mom that, don't even mention his engagement.
All the men went back to my parents house during my shower and they had a hero and beer and stuff. Why don't your men do something like that. They only showed up at the very end to help pack up all the gifts.
ali120206 Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

Posted by CC59

Posted by DrBeLLaRoSe

i think that you are right and your brother should not come to the shower. However, if he must come, then it should be at the very very end to help pack up the gifts and take them home.

i am going to ask my mother not to bring my brother to my shower either. so i guess i am a beotch too


I agree!

Jeez..my brother didn't want to go anyplace near my shower!

Does your brother really want to get involed in the shower or do you think he just wants attention?


I was going to say the same thing. Most males wouldn't want to go anywhere near a bridal shower!

There's really no reason for him to 'stop by' in the middle of your shower other than to have your family congratulate him and your shower isn't the right place for that!
ewickens Posted:

Re: I don't know what to do....

Kathleen - I know exactly how you feel!!! My cousin upstaged me at my shower a few weeks ago when she announced her engagement and no one, not even my mother was in the room when I opened gifts b/c they were talking with my cousin in the kitchen of my aunt's house!!

Put your foot down about this! You deserve a day to be with your family to celebrate you!

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