Brides Helping Brides ™ - I don't know what to do anymore....

elp6421 Posted: Mar 30, 2010 09:30 PM

I don't know what to do anymore....

I am so upset right now. A mix of anger and sadness.

A few weeks ago my mom told me, Pick a date for the shower. I chose the date and then booked plane tickets to Ohio. (The shower is there since that is where I am from). FH and I then told friends and family about the date so people could make arrangements. FH and I both took off time from work.

So today, my sister calls and tells me I must change she shower date bc she has a wedding to go to. Well.. basically I told her that was crap we have everything already arranged for June 17. I call my mother, she starts going off basically on how selfish I am for not changing the date to accommodate my sister. Sorry but last time I checked she was NOT the bride.

So now my sister, who is my MOH, has choosen NOT to attend the shower. My mom seems to think I am the reason for this and is upset at ME.

This is just one of the many times I have felt **** on by her and my sister. FH HATES my mother now and is on the verge of calling her to tell her what he thinks.

At this point I really don't know what to say. FH really feels like he should call my mom and speak his peace but I really think this is only going to cause fuel to the fire..

Thanks for reading.

SoonToBMrsC Posted: Mar 30, 2010 09:47 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

JMO I definitely don't think that your FH should call you mom. This is between you, your mom and your sis.

springsandra Posted: Mar 30, 2010 09:59 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

That is RIDICULOUS of your sister! I'm fuming for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a good friend miss our wedding because she had a baby shower for a college friend to go to in Boston the same day as our wedding. I understood. That friend had known her longer and they were closer. I really didn't feel bad about it.

WTH is wrong with your sister???? If the wedding is at night, they should plan your shower for that day and she can just leave a little early. If it's a day wedding, the opposite. Cmon! GRRRRR

SoontobeGallagher Posted: Mar 30, 2010 10:04 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

That's crap. Your sister should've thought about this wedding before the shower was set. What's more important...The wedding or your shower?! She is the selfish one.

elp6421 Posted: Mar 30, 2010 10:22 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

This is the text I just got from her, 'You are a selfish bridezilla who doesn't care about anyone but herself. Your wedding is going to **** because all you care about is if its to certain standards,'

***. I know I should be fuming but instead just feel like crying.

saralee1978 Posted: Mar 30, 2010 10:25 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Your sister should have told you about the wedding before you booked. Seriously. She is the selfish one. A wedding over a sibling? I only have one brother, and I know my mother would make me cancel ANYTHING to go to an event for him, like a shower.

springsandra Posted: Mar 30, 2010 10:37 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Posted by elp6421

This is the text I just got from her, 'You are a selfish bridezilla who doesn't care about anyone but herself. Your wedding is going to **** because all you care about is if its to certain standards,'

***. I know I should be fuming but instead just feel like crying.

OMG. Just send her back a text saying that she made you cry and can't you all do the shower the day after the wedding then? Like if the wedding is on a Saturday, do your shower on Sunday or vice-versa.

It's not like you live in Ohio. This isn't about you wanting things to a certain standard... this is about people who love you celebrating with you.

Honestly, if your wedding isn't until December, maybe you can just reschedule the entire thing for August or something?

I'm so so so so so sorry you're going through this. I would like to have a few choice words with your sister...

Lil OC Posted: Mar 30, 2010 10:40 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Last time I checked, family comes first. Your sister should go eff off. And honestly, your mom should feel the same way. Sorry, but I'm furious for you right now!!!

love82110 Posted: Mar 30, 2010 10:43 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

I'm sorry you are dealing with this for what should be a happy time for you. Just a thought, but if the wedding is the saturday day/eve, could the shower be switched to the sunday maybe, not to mess up all the travel plans already made? Stinks to think about accomodating her as this is how she is acting, but sometimes it's easier to try and keep the peace. Is it someone she is very close with? Doesn't really matter, just trying to throw out some suggestions. It'll blow over and work out!

JAAMS Posted: Mar 30, 2010 10:48 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

I am so sorry that you're dealing with this! I think that your sister is being selfish....I would think your bridal shower should come first.

elp6421 Posted: Mar 30, 2010 11:03 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Posted by katandjoe

I'm sorry you are dealing with this for what should be a happy time for you. Just a thought, but if the wedding is the saturday day/eve, could the shower be switched to the sunday maybe, not to mess up all the travel plans already made? Stinks to think about accomodating her as this is how she is acting, but sometimes it's easier to try and keep the peace. Is it someone she is very close with? Doesn't really matter, just trying to throw out some suggestions. It'll blow over and work out!

I thought about switching it to Sunday, but my plane leaves at 2pm, so it doesn't leave a lot of time. I would even switch the weekends, except all of FH family has already taken the time off.

I think I am even more frustrated bc my mother seems to think I should just rearrange travel plans like its not big deal.

Tiinkerbellaaa Posted: Mar 30, 2010 11:29 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

yikes, thats a sticky situation. You def had to do a lot of planning and to switch your day will cause you lots of stress with work and flights. Maybe your sister can attend a little of both

Nina1010 Posted: Mar 30, 2010 11:33 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Posted by SoonToBMrsC

JMO I definitely don't think that your FH should call you mom. This is between you, your mom and your sis.

I agree... fights bt. family are different and eventually blow over. You don't want the tension bt. them and your FH.

Your sister is being very selfish and after having so many ppl make plans and both of you taking time off of work, that is just too much to juggle with. I would emphasize this and cry to your mom on how selfish your sister is being and let her know what hoops everyone is jumping through to make it there and that you cannot take vacation any other time. This isn't your fauly as they told you to pick a date....didn't say except this date... ya know... ??? seriously.

joctorre Posted: Mar 30, 2010 11:37 PM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

ugh, I am so frustrated for you right now. I'm so sorry... Is it even an important wedding???

I don't understand your mom's reaction, though. Little sisters I can kind of 'get'... being the baby and all that... etc etc.... but your MOM??? Definitely don't have FH call her (unless they have a good relationship and he can tell it to her straight...) In my opinion, you need to talk to your mom and to your sister....

Good luck. FM me if you need to vent some more or something. I am definitely dealing with more family BS drama than anything that should be wedding related!!!

MrsDR2010 Posted: Mar 31, 2010 12:15 AM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Posted by SoonToBMrsC

JMO I definitely don't think that your FH should call you mom. This is between you, your mom and your sis.

Yes, I agree. You don't want them to dislike your FH for the rest of your life. I would be upset too. You have to fly in to go to the shower. Its not like you live there. Thats just ridiculous and you both took time off of work so what if you can't change it. She should have told you before when you told them the date. That is just crazy. What is wrong with people?

adelya21 Posted: Mar 31, 2010 12:41 AM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

exactly!!! I completely agree!! this makes me mad for you!! Whos wedding is this that it takes priority over you shower????

I also dont think FH should call because i think it should be settled between you 3.

Posted by SoontobeGallagher

That's crap. Your sister should've thought about this wedding before the shower was set. What's more important...The wedding or your shower?! She is the selfish one.

Katlyco Posted: Mar 31, 2010 07:34 AM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

The more I read about sisters pulling crap like this the more and more I get EXTREMELY angry!!!
My sister has pulled stupit **** like this and it's starting to get VERYYYYYYYYYYY annoying.

IT'S OUR WEDDINGS!!! WHY DONT THEY GET IT?????????

So sorry you have to deal with this!

SoontobeMrs.Brown Posted: Mar 31, 2010 07:58 AM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

Im so mad right now after reading this. Im sorry. People are so fkn selfish I HATE THAT! You are NOT wrong - AT ALL. Thats soooo fkd up of your sister!! Choosing someones elses wedding over her own sisters shower. Gross. Have the shower without her - your mother will have to get over it and realize who the wrong ones here are. As far as FH - I think its best for him not to make that call. You dont want additional drama. Its already enough you are dealing with. Hang in there ... Dont let anyone ruin this time for you - everything will work out!!!

soontobecruz Posted: Mar 31, 2010 08:17 AM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

WOW thats redic!

first I would not have your FH call your mom or your sis. It could turn MUCH worse if he did and I wouldn't want that for you.

I can't believe she didn't notice the date before you booked all your info. I would ask the family and friends who are here, who has actually booked their flights, and accomdations so far. If any one has ask them if it would be a problem to change it. If they can't change it then what about changing the time or day of the shower... if the wedding is on SAt, have the shower on Sunday, or vice versa. If it's a day wedding have a night shower, again vice versa

There is no reason this wedding needs to take up the ENTIRE weekend.

Lastly, and I know the feeling.... have the shower without her. It will s uck and be sad trust me I know. But your shower will still be wonderful and amazing. She will see pics and wish she were there too.

Diana12 Posted: Mar 31, 2010 09:28 AM

Re: I don't know what to do anymore....

I am sorry this is happening to you. I personally would not have fh call your mom, it is between you and her. You do not want to add anybody else to the situation, it could get worse. I hope that you and your mom work it out.