I feel terrible...

Sooo I feel ike complete sh!t today... Last night I saw an old friend of mine. We have always been friends but are the type who float in and out of eachothers lives. I know she will always be there for me if needed and vise versa... Well I didn't ask her to be in the BP. I found out last night (after a few drinks) that she was a little hurt by it. I have 10 girls.... 10 girls who are either family or I talk to on close to a daily basis.... This old friend of mine, we see eachother every so often, mostly when other friends of are who have moved away are in town. It's not that I don't want her in it, I don't want 11 girls! 10 is a lot already.... and the expense adds up....
Originally I was going to ask her to be a reader and my parents were giving me crap about other family members not being invloved so I let them sway me and didn't ask her. I wish I had. I know it isn't the same as a BM but it is still being involved.

I just feel like total crap about it. For now I think I am just going to let it blow over see in a few months if we are closer or not, if I ask her now she will only think it is out of pitty.... Any suggestions what to do?

Re: I feel terrible...

i agree i say wait it out .. think of something she can doo.. there are many way s she can help out .. u need all the hp u can get ... i understand y u didnt put her in u cant out everyone in ... i am personally on the one yr basis ... if we havet spoken one yr before my wedding ur not invited ...

Hope u feel better

Re: I feel terrible...

Well, do you want her involved? Its a hard situation, but if you want her involved, isn't that you and Fh's decision? If not, there is nothing wrong with not having her as part of the BP or a reader... She will be there celebrating with you regardless. This is really something you have to think about and put other people opinions aside.

Re: I feel terrible...

i know the feeling bc i am in the same boat....i have a friend that was one of my best friends for years and always thought would be in my wedding. However in the past 2 or 3 years we haven't been talking that much or seen each other at all (mostly bc she has an uber controlling boyfriend which is a whole other story). I have 9 girls which is family and friends that i am close with so I had to make the decision to cut her and i feel terrible about it. However, you can't have everyone in your wedding and i had to make a choice...if she is truly a friends he will will get over it and be there to support you no matter what.

Re: I feel terrible...

I had a cousin who I couldn't put in my BP, and I made her a reader. It was nice to include her.
Don't beat yourself up too much!

Re: I feel terrible...

not everyone can be included but it is the most horrible feeling when you think that your very close friend is going to ask you b/c her FH asked your FH and you guys do everything together- and then she has the nerve to tell you that she is only having her closest friends in her BP.. I am still insulted...

Re: I feel terrible...

Im sorry your in that situation! I'm in teh same boat except im assuming my best friend (who i see once every 3-5 months) is mad at me for not including her in my wedding. It's hard when you have a lot of family. Don't feel bad for not having her as a BM, figure out another way she can help if she really wants to.

Re: I feel terrible...

You're all right. I can't have everyone. I know she is happy for me and suportive no matter what. She always offers to help with DIY stuff she said she would look at dresses with me if I wanted. All these reasons of course make me feel worse.. haha... But I am just going to wait a while see what happens. I wish I hadn't let my parents get in my head about the other readers. It was early on in the planning and I guess I hadn't learned to put my foot down yet. LOL....

Thanks for the advice girls!

Re: I feel terrible...

I'm glad she told you how she felt...since you had a feeling it would be this way. He talking about it will take the 'awkwardness' out of it now. She can still be a part of your big day without being a BM. She's still a friend. Don't feel too bad or question your decision. Its hard enough on you. It'll get better.

Re: I feel terrible...

i would go with your gut...you didn't ask her in the first place and she might even feel awkard if you decided to ask her now. you can't please everyone...

Re: I feel terrible...

Don't beat yourself up over it, it's impossible to include everyone. I had almost 20 girls that I would've LOVED to ask to be in my BP, but it's just too much for me, so I cut it to 12 + Jr. BM & FG.

I'm going to ask the other girls to do readings, or hold a candle, or maybe hand out whatever is being thrown at us or whatnot. There's always those options available for your friend, if you want her to be involved. And if not, just remember that she'll be there, and that is part of being involved too. :)