we absolutely fell in love with Our Lady of Good Counsel in Mattituck. I called them today and she said to get married there we have to have at least relatives who live in Mattituck or Cutchogue (my parents live 10 minutes away in southold!)
i'm devastated. :( i've never heard of such a thing!
i've heard that you need to be a member, which is fine, we are moving down in the area soon.. but not that you have to LIVE there. What if you live in southold but attended that church all your life? you can't get married at your church??
stinenandy2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
I have heard that you and the parents need to be registered at the church. That's how mine was. So far the church has been the most difficuly, kind of ironic??
Autumnbride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
double
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
Many churches require that you are part of their parish. Some are more lenient but ive also heard that you have to pay extra if you are not a member, not sure if all those lenient ones require an extra fee though. But sorry, alot of churches do require you to be a member
SFAR89
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
Do they seriously pull these 'rules' out of their asses???
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
Posted by Autumnbride03
we absolutely fell in love with Our Lady of Good Counsel in Mattituck. I called them today and she said to get married there we have to have at least relatives who live in Mattituck or Cutchogue (my parents live 10 minutes away in southold!)
i'm devastated. :( i've never heard of such a thing!
i've heard that you need to be a member, which is fine, we are moving down in the area soon.. but not that you have to LIVE there. What if you live in southold but attended that church all your life? you can't get married at your church??
if you attended that church all your life and were a member but lived further away or moved away then im guessing that it would be fine with them. I think they make these rules if you are not a member, then it becomes a bit more strict
Autumnbride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
she didn't even ask me if I attended or my family attended... she just asked where Me and my parents lived and said we had to live in one of those towns.
alli3131
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
I had to pay more because we were not members.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
Posted by Autumnbride03
she didn't even ask me if I attended or my family attended... she just asked where Me and my parents lived and said we had to live in one of those towns.
i guess this parish is even more strict. Maybe she knows most members so thats why she didnt ask if you were a member or not. Not sure if they usually ask bc were getting married in FH's church but they know him and knew he was a member there, they just asked what year he was baptised to look it up in their books. So thats why im guessing they might've not asked, like my fh they knew he was already a member
galgirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
I use to have a summer house there we could have said we were related! I wonder why that is, its a church everyone should be welcomed
flairforfashion
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
Yea, some Parishes are EXTRA strict. I have found that church booking is the most difficult of all vendors!
Cpt2007
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Autumnbride03
she didn't even ask me if I attended or my family attended... she just asked where Me and my parents lived and said we had to live in one of those towns.
i guess this parish is even more strict. Maybe she knows most members so thats why she didnt ask if you were a member or not. Not sure if they usually ask bc were getting married in FH's church but they know him and knew he was a member there, they just asked what year he was baptised to look it up in their books. So thats why im guessing they might've not asked, like my fh they knew he was already a member
That would be my guess as well. If you aren't registered in the parish, then you have to live in the boundaries of the parish to be eligible. Most parishes though, take the opportunity to have non-parishioners pay more. Guess this church does not do that.
Autumnbride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
what a pain! I was not baptized catholic, but FH is... but his family lives upstate and we are having the wedding down by my parents, obviously.
I go to catholic mass with him though on sundays, it is important to him that we have a catholic mass. I know this is done all the time. What do they expect people like us to do?
I just spoke with the secretary- when we are down in the area memorial day weekend we are going to go to the mass at that church and speak directly to the priest, who I hear is awesome and extremely well-liked. Maybe we can get further with him.... I'm trying not to stress too much yet!
PegaLega
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Autumnbride03
she didn't even ask me if I attended or my family attended... she just asked where Me and my parents lived and said we had to live in one of those towns.
i guess this parish is even more strict. Maybe she knows most members so thats why she didnt ask if you were a member or not. Not sure if they usually ask bc were getting married in FH's church but they know him and knew he was a member there, they just asked what year he was baptised to look it up in their books. So thats why im guessing they might've not asked, like my fh they knew he was already a member
Once you move out of the towns the parish includes you are not considered a parishoner anymore unless you have family members that still live in that 'group' of towns
PegaLega
Posted:
Member since
Re: i hate churches :(
Posted by Autumnbride03
we absolutely fell in love with Our Lady of Good Counsel in Mattituck. I called them today and she said to get married there we have to have at least relatives who live in Mattituck or Cutchogue (my parents live 10 minutes away in southold!)
i'm devastated. :( i've never heard of such a thing!
i've heard that you need to be a member, which is fine, we are moving down in the area soon.. but not that you have to LIVE there. What if you live in southold but attended that church all your life? you can't get married at your church??
Then you would become a parishoner, you actually fill out paperwork to become a parishoner in a certain church of choice. Its a rule that almost all the churches go by-some are less strict about who they allow and who they do not allow.
