i have an issue and i need help!! (and hugs)

Original post by tricia3381

Feb 20, 2007 08:29 PM

my friend (one of my bm's) just got engaged over the weekend. Prior to the 'official' engagement her and her FH were looking at wedding halls. she found one she loved and their next available date this year was 9/8/07 (my wedding is 8/19/07). so they booked it saturday and then officially got engaged sunday. don't get me wrong, i'm very happy for her, i just feel like shes stealing my thunder. i probably sound like a bridezilla, but between my sister havin a baby in june, and now my friend getting married just over 2 weeks after me, i feel like no one cares about my wedding. my friend who just got engaged is already talking about how she wants to have HER shower in may. I thought, um hello!! what about mine? u know the one ur supposed to be planning???? she even said to me, um what about ur shower? i'm like i don't know anything about it. shes like well MOH still hasn't contacted us about anything. i'm like ok well maybe u can get the ball rolling and contact her or something. she knows i want my shower to be a surprise so obvisously i don't know what my moh or any other member of BP is doing.
now the other problem i have is shes most likely going to ask me to be in her BP. the problem is i don't have the money since FH and I are paying for most our wedding ourselves. how can i say no to her when shes in mine? in my defense her parents are paying for her wedding start to finish so its not like her wedding is causing a financial strain. is there a nice way to tell her i can't be in her BP w/o upsetting her? i feel horrible that i can't be there for her in her BP like she is in mine, but i just can't do it financally. i really need ur help girls!!!

lizzynyu Posted: Feb 21, 2007 08:59 AM

Re: i have an issue and i need help!! (and hugs)

I understand it from the opposite end. My best friend got engaged in September of last year and I got engaged in November. She wasn't sure for a long time if she was going to have the funds to pay for her wedding and she was originally looking at the same weekend that I decided to have my wedding. But because she didn't know, I chose the date that we both originally wanted because it was sentimental to me (I'm getting married on 11/11 and FH proposed on 11/10) and we worked through it. She's getting married exactly 3 weeks before me now. We are both in each others wedding party and it couldn't have been more wonderful. All of your other friends who are not married or single will get tired of hearing about your wedding plans. But this friend of yours will never get tired of hearing about it because she is going through the same thing as you. I don't feel that either of us are stealing the other one's thunder. Both weddings are going to be beautiful but very different from each other. And we bounce ideas off of each other concerning vendors, decorations, dresses, etc. I think it could work towards your advantage. FH and I are paying for our wedding except for a little help from each of our families and I still have to buy a bridesmaid dress, shoes, gifts, etc for my best friend's wedding but its important for me to be a part of her day just like its important to her to be a part of my day. I know how expensive everything is but in the end, it'll be worth it. And you can talk to her about gifts. Maybe instead of giving each other cash because you'll just be passing it back and fourth, maybe discuss getting each other a gift off of your registries so therefore it is something you both want and it won't feel awkward. I would sit down with your friend and talk to her about it and see what she says and just be honest. If you guys are close, then you can totally work this out. Good luck!