We are planning and planning and the cost of the wedding keeps going up. We are soley paying for this and now its starting to take a toll on us. My FH now wants to cancel everything so we can go to the justice of the peace and buy a house sooner. I am sooo sooo sad . Is anyone else out there going through this?
cookiemonster
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
i haven't quite hit the justice of the peace stage yet but i am totally in the same boat when it comes to costs. we're stressed about the money and frustrated because we want to keep costs down without it looking cheap. i have a hard time reconciling spending so much $$ for 6 hours of my life but i still want everything to be perfect. sigh...you are not alone!
INLOVE06
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
keep your chin up. i know it's hard fh and i are also paying for our wedding, it will get done.
jlu830
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
awww hun don't worry we all go through this and it is crazy how much a wedding costs!! maybe you and FH can talk about how to cut costs...get low cps, invite less ppl, have a smaller bp, less expensive invites & hm... don't worry~ it WILL work out in time
Pencils
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
Why don't you try cutting costs before running to the justice of the peace? Remind your FH that if you don't have a wedding, you won't get many gifts! I don't believe that most couples make back the cost of the wedding, but it's not an insignificant fact that you will be getting gifts, some of which will be money. Depending on your family, maybe most or all of the gifts will be money!
I do know how you feel, though. We're trying really had to keep our wedding under $10K, because we're planning on buying a house this year too. And it's not easy, but there definitely are ways to cut your budget radically, it's just difficult if you've already made bookings.
Future Mrs.
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
I just got married this past Sunday....and I can relate in some ways. After beginning the planning process....I had a meltdown b/c I felt that it was innappropriate to have a real wedding....My Mom died 2 yrs ago and the planning was very painful without her b/c it is something she dreamed of for me. At one point, we cancelled everything, and decided to do just that.....the JOP/or a rabbi's study. In the end, my grandmother convinced me to have a wedding...and we did. I am SO GRATEFUL THAT WE DID IT. I cannot make this decision for you, but I think that you should have a wedding. Perhaps you can cut costs on certain things? I have been to over 60 weddings.....the nicest ones were the ones with the lowest budgets; and I mean that. It doesn't matter so much what you do, its that you do it in front of people that love/care about you. I can't explain the reasoning behind this.....but I think that if you are on this chat room in the first place, you want a wedding of some sort......and I think you should have one.
BubbasBride
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
I am in the same boat as you. We are paying for everything and trying to buy a house before next March. I find I have to keep reminding myself that it's only 6 hours of one day. It will be beautiful no matter how expensive you go. The house we will buy we will have forever and will build our family in. Those are memories I will cherish more than the day I got married.
Maybe it sounds weird, but that's how I feel.
kitty1224
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
Fh keeps telling me we should have eloped and I agree because I have spent so much money and will spend so much more that I can not handle it. I do not know where this money will come from. It is out of control,
mskittynj
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
Absolutely, we have completely over exherted ourselves with this wedding.....I understand the frustration!!! XOXOXO Kitty
Future Mrs.
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
Would you ever consider this:
Having your immediate family....and I mean immediate....to keep the number very small (under 30) and have a ceremony in your Rabbi/Priest/Pastor/JOP study, followed by a meal at a nice restaurant?
One of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to was exactly that. It was SO INTIMATE and beautiful. Every guest played a role in the wedding and was part of it. The only flowers were the bride's bouquet, and the music was a single pianist. It was the classiest event I've ever been to.
Is that something you would want to do?
MsDiva
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
You and FH are not alone. When it's just the two of you flipping the bill for a wedding it is extremely financially draining. Me and FH are paying for the entire wedding ourselves and the $$ amounts are scary. I must admit, the only reason we are doing it is because we already own a beautiful new home in Suffolk. Together you and FH must decide what is best for you as a family. If you can't have a wedding now you can always have one in the future.
mkc56
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
I'm so sorry, I'm sure it will all work out. We are definitely feeling the $$$ strain, but I think it will all be worth it.
Just remember that your wedding day if for your families to see you and your FH get married and celebrate with the two of you. It will be magical no matter how much it costs you. GL with your planning.
MF9282
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
Awww we are paying for about 90% of it ourselves ad it gets so overwhelming and causes fights and stress but it will all be worth it. We know this will delay getting a house but so much work has already gone into the wedding. Don't worry!
Marchbride07
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
If it can help you buy a house I would do it...especially if you are paying for it all by yourself...but maybe you can do it smaller! Ask someone who is good with a video camera to be the videographer! Do your own centerpieces! DIY Invites! Find a venue that is reasonably priced...and cut out the extra guests and make it asmall intimate affair!
I dunno, just trying to help.
Lots of for you!
Lools
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
Posted by cookiemonster
i haven't quite hit the justice of the peace stage yet but i am totally in the same boat when it comes to costs. we're stressed about the money and frustrated because we want to keep costs down without it looking cheap. i have a hard time reconciling spending so much $$ for 6 hours of my life but i still want everything to be perfect. sigh...you are not alone!
Totally with you on this! We're buying a house and paying for the wedding all at the same time. PLUS my sister is getting married this year and I have all the expenses for that. ALSO we have 4 weddings to go to, 2 before ours and 2 after ours. I'm just praying and trusting God that it will all work out.
Eva-and-John 07
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
I don't think there is any one of us who did not get overwhelmed at some point when we understood the cost.
My policy is to stick to my budget as much as possible. I try to recenter myself and focus on why I want to have a wedding and what's most important to me.
For me, it's important to share this time with my family and friends. I'm not having a ton of flowers or fancy invitations. I would love to but it was either that or cut down on the guest list lots. But for me the day is very important and I couldn't imagine not having a wedding.
You have to decide what's important to you and your FH. These are hard decisions but ultimately, it's your marriage (not just your wedding).
Think about it, talk about it and have faith in your decision.
Missladybug15
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
jessruth9
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
I know how hard this is... We're looking at houses and everytime i see something out of our price range I think of a way to cut a wedding cost. It's been working well for me. I have discovered my crafty side and my girls are really helping with all of the DIY stuff.
Good Luck!
bettybcafe
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Re: I have the wedding blues.....
Well I was sorta feeling like that a few weeks ago..but not so much because our wedding cost keeps rising...other reasons, but I feel ur pain. But remember it will allll be worth it at the end, believe me you guys will figure something out and it will work out. And if the cost of ur wedding keeps rising try eliminating some things that arent necessary..I noticed that when I first started the planning I was like, ok, I am only goig to do this and this and thats it! But after a few mths planning I started going on a totally different directions buying and ordering things that werent in my original plans..so I had to slow down a bit. I sat down and asked myself 'If I dont have this at my wedding, will it really matter?' and most of the time my answer would be 'no' , so I wouldnt add that little extra thing I wanted because it didnt fit my budget. I do hope that helps..but remember dont feel blue..
