i just broke off the engagement w/updateNEW UPDATE(3/24)

Original post by ddnsp618

Mar 22, 2008 06:57 PM

hey girls thanks for the kind words...ill explain the story

FH dad is controlling and nasty so he was yelling at FH yesterday and putting ideas into his head. so FH calls me and tells me that we are rushing (and if you girls know me...you know im not the typical LIW bride...i dont have any desire to book much at this time) and hes just not sure what he wants to do...so i wen to his house and returned his ring..then i tried to talk with his dad, and his dad trashed me for 15 minutes, then told me to leave his house.

so FH has not yet stood up to his parents and tell them to back off (which is what needs to happen)...so as of now, im still not engaged and i dont know what to do.

update:: i spoke with stuart (ill refer to him by his real name, since he isnt FH anymore) last night in person and explained to him that i dont deserve to be treated the way his father treated me (he told me that i make stuart miserable and i am ruining their family...which is abs. ridiculous, stuart gets miserable when his parents are controlling and i always tried to be a part of his family) and that i deserve an FH that will stick up for me in that situation. he told me that he understands and that his father was uncalled for. he also told me that he would speak with him..so fast forward to this am. he called me to wish me luck on my student teaching interview and said he spoke with his dad and told him how he feels. im still reluctant to take him back and resume with the wedding, bc i cannot be guaranteed that he is compelely changed. and how will i ever be able to even look at his father let alone speak with him. so as of now, ex-FH ruined a 5 year relationship until he can prove otherwise.

to my wonderful LIW friends, you guys have been more caring and concerned then my (ex) MOH and bff.

longislandlibrarian Posted: Mar 23, 2008 10:56 AM

Re: i just broke off the engagement

oh my goodness~~!~~~ i am soo sorry to hear this... goood luck and feel free to vent to us!

DonnaPWhite1124 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 11:06 AM

Re: i just broke off the engagement

Posted by flairforfashion

I am so sorry to hear this? What happened? Are you sure it just wasn't a fight? I think all of us have these type of fights sometimes. We are here for you if you need anything. ::HUGS::

Ditto...maybe it was just a big blowout and somewhere in the next day or so you can both talk rationally.

I dont know what to say I'm horrible at these things...stay strong though

lizzzie35 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 11:40 AM

Re: i just broke off the engagement

I sent you an FM last night.... Hope you are ok today!

lanamanitta Posted: Mar 23, 2008 11:43 AM

Re: i just broke off the engagement

I'm so sorry to hear that . . . I hope that it all works out as well.

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 12:21 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement

I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I hope things work out for the best.

JnA823 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 12:25 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement

So sorry to hear that...

ddnsp618 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 05:49 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement..Update

bump for update

JackieV Posted: Mar 23, 2008 06:09 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

ok so i read ur update... and u are 100% right!!!! Do not let his family talk to u like that. I have and am still going threw so much family drama w/ FH family and if u dont stop it now it will never stop. At first i wasnt strong and didnt stick to what i felt (bc i didnt want to fight with anyone) and they walked all over me. Now that i stand up for myself its a fight. You need to talk to FH, tell him that he is a big boy and his daddy doesnt need to be putting s h i t into his head and he needs to talk to his famliy. His family CAN NOT run his life forever. Its a very hard choice to walk away. Its also hard to pick between family and ur future husband/wife... put honestly what right is right. I'm sure his family wouldnt be happy if the tables were turned!!! i hope everything works out. Keep me posted and if u need anything i'm always here xoxoxo

TnJ041809 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 06:13 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

hang in there. maybe it will finally click with him that standing up to his parents is what he needs to do..it can be really hard for him but i hope he ralizes it..Good luck and lots of hugs.. i'm so sorry you have to go through this!

tinadansr Posted: Mar 23, 2008 07:17 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

SO sorry to hear this hun! 's for you hope everything is ok!

KristiAnn923 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 07:25 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

Posted by ddnsp618

hey girls thanks for the kind words...ill explain the story

FH dad is controlling and nasty so he was yelling at FH yesterday and putting ideas into his head. so FH calls me and tells me that we are rushing (and if you girls know me...you know im not the typical LIW bride...i dont have any desire to book much at this time) and hes just not sure what he wants to do...so i wen to his house and returned his ring..then i tried to talk with his dad, and his dad trashed me for 15 minutes, then told me to leave his house.

so FH has not yet stood up to his parents and tell them to back off (which is what needs to happen)...so as of now, im still not engaged and i dont know what to do.

I am so sorry to hear this. I know its hard but please keep us updated.

christiegl Posted: Mar 23, 2008 07:46 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

i'm so sorry to hear about this. i hope everything works out.

WinterGrl09 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 07:48 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

I just read your update... i hope everything works out. Keep us updated

curlyq4458 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 08:23 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

I'm so sorry. I can only imagine what your going through.
Why does FH dad think your rushing into things? How long have you been dating?

Your FH has to realize that it's all about you and him...NOT HIS DAD. You both will be together and start a family...NOT HIS DAD.

You did the right thing, what did you do when his dad was trashing you? Did FH stand up for you?

lizzzie35 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 10:02 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

Aww Danielle....

I would have done the exact same thing you did. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm here if you need me!

Kaprabbit Posted: Mar 23, 2008 10:06 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

I'm so sorry! I know everything will be ok though :)

bkposh Posted: Mar 23, 2008 10:07 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

Wow...y does his dad need to get involved in your lives. from your pic you seem like down to earth people...i cant see what he can possibley have against your marriage...

how long were you dating before he proposed?

9-21-07 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 10:09 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

I'm so sorry. I hope you two are able to work things out!

missjones2007 Posted: Mar 23, 2008 10:22 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

Posted by ddnsp618

hey girls thanks for the kind words...ill explain the story

FH dad is controlling and nasty so he was yelling at FH yesterday and putting ideas into his head. so FH calls me and tells me that we are rushing (and if you girls know me...you know im not the typical LIW bride...i dont have any desire to book much at this time) and hes just not sure what he wants to do...so i wen to his house and returned his ring..then i tried to talk with his dad, and his dad trashed me for 15 minutes, then told me to leave his house.

so FH has not yet stood up to his parents and tell them to back off (which is what needs to happen)...so as of now, im still not engaged and i dont know what to do.

This kind of **** makes me sooo mad! (excuse my french ladies) but im sorry but FIL needs to mind his own business and let yall be as for FH if he is sooo influenced by what his parents think and not following his heart then that means that he needs some growing up to do. U did the right thing and if its meant to be then it will defintely happen for you...

GiantsBride Posted: Mar 23, 2008 10:58 PM

Re: i just broke off the engagement w/update

Some people are so concerned about their own wants and needs that they completely disregard everyone else's. So sorry to hear you are dealing with all of this...