Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
check your fm when you get a chance
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i just broke off the engagement **w/update**NEW UPDATE(3/24)
Original post by ddnsp618
hey girls thanks for the kind words...ill explain the story
FH dad is controlling and nasty so he was yelling at FH yesterday and putting ideas into his head. so FH calls me and tells me that we are rushing (and if you girls know me...you know im not the typical LIW bride...i dont have any desire to book much at this time) and hes just not sure what he wants to do...so i wen to his house and returned his ring..then i tried to talk with his dad, and his dad trashed me for 15 minutes, then told me to leave his house.
so FH has not yet stood up to his parents and tell them to back off (which is what needs to happen)...so as of now, im still not engaged and i dont know what to do.
update:: i spoke with stuart (ill refer to him by his real name, since he isnt FH anymore) last night in person and explained to him that i dont deserve to be treated the way his father treated me (he told me that i make stuart miserable and i am ruining their family...which is abs. ridiculous, stuart gets miserable when his parents are controlling and i always tried to be a part of his family) and that i deserve an FH that will stick up for me in that situation. he told me that he understands and that his father was uncalled for. he also told me that he would speak with him..so fast forward to this am. he called me to wish me luck on my student teaching interview and said he spoke with his dad and told him how he feels. im still reluctant to take him back and resume with the wedding, bc i cannot be guaranteed that he is compelely changed. and how will i ever be able to even look at his father let alone speak with him. so as of now, ex-FH ruined a 5 year relationship until he can prove otherwise.
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to my wonderful LIW friends, you guys have been more caring and concerned then my (ex) MOH and bff.
FH dad is controlling and nasty so he was yelling at FH yesterday and putting ideas into his head. so FH calls me and tells me that we are rushing (and if you girls know me...you know im not the typical LIW bride...i dont have any desire to book much at this time) and hes just not sure what he wants to do...so i wen to his house and returned his ring..then i tried to talk with his dad, and his dad trashed me for 15 minutes, then told me to leave his house.
so FH has not yet stood up to his parents and tell them to back off (which is what needs to happen)...so as of now, im still not engaged and i dont know what to do.
update:: i spoke with stuart (ill refer to him by his real name, since he isnt FH anymore) last night in person and explained to him that i dont deserve to be treated the way his father treated me (he told me that i make stuart miserable and i am ruining their family...which is abs. ridiculous, stuart gets miserable when his parents are controlling and i always tried to be a part of his family) and that i deserve an FH that will stick up for me in that situation. he told me that he understands and that his father was uncalled for. he also told me that he would speak with him..so fast forward to this am. he called me to wish me luck on my student teaching interview and said he spoke with his dad and told him how he feels. im still reluctant to take him back and resume with the wedding, bc i cannot be guaranteed that he is compelely changed. and how will i ever be able to even look at his father let alone speak with him. so as of now, ex-FH ruined a 5 year relationship until he can prove otherwise.
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
I really hope everything works out for the best with you- I think that you made a very strong and mature decision and I'm sure that it hurts and might not even make 100% sense right now to you, but it looks like there are alot of girls supporting you (me included) so stick to your guns and hopefully it will inspire your ex-fiance to grow up as well... it honestly sounds like there is more to the story b/w him and FIL if he isn't going to stand up to him- that may be bigger than you unfortunately... but he needs to grab his B A L L S and do what it right. Good Luck! ![]()
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
I think you are doing the right thing. I have had some problems with FH's family (not with his parents) and if he did not stick up for me, I would be really hurt. You two need to be on the same page so if his feelings are different from his dad's, he needs to stand up and tell him. I really hope that it all works out for you. Stay strong. ![]()
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
I'm so sorry to hear. I'm sure it was just a fight that needs time to heal. I'm sure you will work out this week. maybe it was just a bad day, you said his father is controlling & maybe he was just too much for FH to handle that day. I hope everything works out. We are all hear for you.
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
Posted by ddnsp618
hey girls thanks for the kind words...ill explain the story
FH dad is controlling and nasty so he was yelling at FH yesterday and putting ideas into his head. so FH calls me and tells me that we are rushing (and if you girls know me...you know im not the typical LIW bride...i dont have any desire to book much at this time) and hes just not sure what he wants to do...so i wen to his house and returned his ring..then i tried to talk with his dad, and his dad trashed me for 15 minutes, then told me to leave his house.
so FH has not yet stood up to his parents and tell them to back off (which is what needs to happen)...so as of now, im still not engaged and i dont know what to do.
I'm really sorry, but you did the right thing. If he can't stand up for you now, you only have a lifetime ahead of you dealing with this on all different levels. I hope you work things out so that you're happy, no matter what happens.
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
wow im so sorry, i hope everything works out for the better. I cant believe how a men can be so controling. i feel bad for his wife. How does she put up with him? Feel better hun! if you need to talk im here .
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
I'm really sorry, but you did the right thing. If he can't stand up for you now, you only have a lifetime ahead of you dealing with this on all different levels. I hope you work things out so that you're happy, no matter what happens.
She's absolutely right. If he doesn't stand up for you now, this may be something that you will always have to deal with, sometimes in the midst of wedding planning we miss that we're seeing the things we don't like that we're going to have to deal with for the rest of our lives. I give you so much credit for making such a mature decision, instead of just hoping it'll change, because usually things like that don't change unless the person realizes it themselves. Hopefully soon he'll realize!
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
Im sorry I hope things work out for you! ![]()
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
i just read your update and im so sorry you have to deal with this! youre doing the right thing though, you cant force fh to stand up to his parents, and you need him to do that. so until he can man up and tell his dad in this case to let him live his life.. you dont need to put up with that! i just can not picture someones parent trashing the person their child has picked to spend the rest of their life with.. thats just unbelievable. i really am so sorry and i hope that fh stands up to his parents and has your back. you dont deserve that!
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
i hope everything works out danielle ![]()
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
i'm so sorry!! i hope everything works out. ![]()
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
Im so sorry this Happened. You are his family now so he kinda need to 'cut the cord' . Better this happens now then when you guys are married with children. Hang in there. Fee free to vent at any time. We are here to listen and help ya as much as we can.![]()
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
Judging from your story- maybe the two of you need to just sit back and see if this is right for you both. Maybe you can still be together and just wait and see what happens! Good luck to you- I hope this works out for you!
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
I am sooo sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
As much as it hurts you did the RIGHT THING with this... i had an ex who never stood up to his parents for me and it became a real issue for us.. so you made the right decision of making it an ISSUE NOW instead of later.. and letting it get worse..
I hOPE it works out...... hopefully Ex-FH knows what he is losing out on by NOT standing up to his parents
I hOPE it works out...... hopefully Ex-FH knows what he is losing out on by NOT standing up to his parents
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**
I hope everything works out for the both of you. I think you did the right thing bc he should stand up to his family for you. Once you get married you wouldn't want this to continue to be an issue...you should be #1.
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**NEW UPDATE(3/24)
bump for update![]()
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**NEW UPDATE(3/24)
you know, you are really making progress. I'm glad you guys spoke, and FH is making such an effort!!! with time, you never know what could happen. I say don't let his dad come between such a long and special relationship!!!! GL and i hope everything works out!!!!!! ![]()
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Re: i just broke off the engagement **w/update**NEW UPDATE(3/24)
I am soo sorry and I hope you all the best .. everything happen for a reason so dont forget that
