I know it's early but...DEAR ___________

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Posted by littlepixie12

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Posted by evewedsjc

Have to let this one out!!

Dear Snarky Wench....

If dropping the ball was a sport...YOU WOULD WIN THE SUPER BOWL!!!

You don't answer anyone's emails or phone calls and I am soooooooooooooooooo sick of it....

If I did not love you I would meet you in the parking lot and beat you with a wooden spoon like I was your mama!!!

STOP BEING A SNARKY WENCH!!!
I don't need to be stressed....

XOXOXOX,

E

Thanks vent over...can you tell I am having issues
I think I need a hug!!!

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Okay first off, I love the word snarky ... back when Dane Cook was doing stand up at colleges upstate

Second.. who do you want me to beat down for you?? (insert beat down emocition here)

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i love that my girls are willing to beat people for me...
and Barb gave me the word SNARKY...lol

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Posted by PoppedInASnap

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Posted by evewedsjc

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Posted by PoppedInASnap

Can I do one?

Dear FH's doctor...

If youcontinue to ignore my calls, I will borrow Eves wooden spoon and beat you with it until you tell me where his blood results are....

And on top of that, I will key the brand new Jag that you have parked outside your office....

Liar liar pants on FIRE...

Sincerely

a wife to be....

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i am sending the spoon right over!!!

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Yesterday, while calling his office, i got so mad i actually broke my heel of my boots from hitting the wall...im lucky i didnt break my foot....

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oh nooooo
dr's can be so horrible..it's annoying...

dear my fat,

ugh, GO AWAY! i've done nothing but eat good (okay, i cheated a little) but i LIVE at the gym. do you know how awful it is to endure the gym, day after day, month after month. listening to the same 35 songs a week. i hate my playlist, but i can't even afford a dollar for a new song on iTunes. God fat, you are fat. and you annoy me! i realize i invited you in, cheeseburger after cheeseburger, indulgent dessert after indulgent dessert, but that was YEARS ago! get over it and go way! i'm breaking up with you. you s*ck, lose my number.

as far as i'm concerned, you're just a bully dead set on torturing me. you know the wedding dress is coming soon you b*tch!! especially leave my arms ALONE! and my thighs. OH, and my hips! we all HATE you and will be wearing a bikini this summer, whether you like it or not!.

Hugs and kisses,
Thinner/inner me!

ps. yes, you look fat in those jeans!

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Posted by PoppedInASnap

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Posted by evewedsjc

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Posted by PoppedInASnap

Can I do one?

Dear FH's doctor...

If youcontinue to ignore my calls, I will borrow Eves wooden spoon and beat you with it until you tell me where his blood results are....

And on top of that, I will key the brand new Jag that you have parked outside your office....

Liar liar pants on FIRE...

Sincerely

a wife to be....

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i am sending the spoon right over!!!

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Yesterday, while calling his office, i got so mad i actually broke my heel of my boots from hitting the wall...im lucky i didnt break my foot....

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if the spoon doesn't work, i have a baseball bat. it's all yours!

Dear Bridal party,

Are you trying to make me over dose on my zanax by not answering my messages regarding you now having to get your butt in gear and get measured and order your dress??? You all have not been involved much and I'm not asking you to be, but now you have to atleast get off your ***' and let a cougar bridal consultant measure you and TA-DA your done!. Not that hard. REPLY back to me or this beotch with seriously go all bridzilla on your asses.

Love your- now, drug addict
bride Samantha <3

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Posted by evewedsjc

Have to let this one out!!

Dear Snarky Wench....

If dropping the ball was a sport...YOU WOULD WIN THE SUPER BOWL!!!

You don't answer anyone's emails or phone calls and I am soooooooooooooooooo sick of it....

If I did not love you I would meet you in the parking lot and beat you with a wooden spoon like I was your mama!!!

STOP BEING A SNARKY WENCH!!!
I don't need to be stressed....

XOXOXOX,

E

Thanks vent over...can you tell I am having issues
I think I need a hug!!!

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LOL @ snarky

ps, i'm stealing the word snarky.

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Posted by ddnsp618

Dear Receptionist in My office,

HI! Hope all is well!! I say this bc you have not been to work since last thursday, due to some 'cold.' Its cute that you have been sick 9 out of the 10 weeks of winter, and havent worked a full (mind you, your weeks are only 4 days) week since december. You stay home from work like its your job. I'm sorry that you keep getting sick, however, this may be due to your chain smoking...just a thought.

I understand that there was a blizzard on Monday, however, my butt was in the office, which is exactly where yours wasnt. And I did give you the day off yesterday, for simply selfish reasons. I dont want your contagious butt to get the girl with no health insurance (me) sick. So today, I was under the impression that you would want to come into work early or at least on time, yet when i receieved your text at 9:45 (and you were supposed to be in at 10) telling me you would be an 'hour or so' late, i thought that was cute. Its also cute, how if you werent doing my wedding makeup, I would have already fired your asss so fast.

Now, I also find it amusing that when you are at work, you very rarely do work! I am the first person to jump on LIW while at work, however I am your boss...and in this office, its do as I say, not as I do. I dont think it is necessary for you to change your facebook status 3 times a day and make countless personal calls when you are on shift for 5 hours. It may be easier for me to understand your need for electronic forms of communication if you worked normal hours on the regular.

And another thing, you are 30 years old, get a freaking grip on your life. I dont care about your shittty life or massive drama, so please dont share. Its amazing to me how i can be so much younger than you, yet have my life semi in order.

Thanks babe (and another thing...i dont like when you say this to PATIENTS)

your frustrated boss,
danielle

ps. no i will not 'lick your a' and if you say that again you will have to dig my foot out of there.

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OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! But that was a good one!!!!!!

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Posted by mandyandbrian

ps, i'm stealing the word snarky.

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go for it...it makes me feel better to call people SNARKY!!!

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Posted by evewedsjc

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Posted by mandyandbrian

ps, i'm stealing the word snarky.

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.

go for it...it makes me feel better to call people SNARKY!!!

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best word ever. and i'll totally help the girls in the beat down!

Oh I have one!

Dear Really Fat Guy on The LIRR,

Please stop sitting next to me just because I am 5 feet tall and little. It is not my fault that the seats were not made for butts of your size. That extra cheeseburger does not entitle you to your seat and half of mine.

I think you are squishing my kidneys,

The girl who cant move her arms.

Dear Incessant D'Bag that sits next to me....

I am sorry that yet again, the bus didn't show up this morning and that I stood outside waiting for it for a half hour. I'm also sorry that I sat in the midtown tunnel for a half hour and arrived at work 11 minutes late. But you're pretty lucky that when I saw you look at your watch and make a notation of my arrival time, that I didn't slice off your hand and steal your watch. Are you a hall monitor? Please get a life loser...its a matter of time before we have an all out FIGHT.

Love Always,

Your Coworker Thats Wishing Gangrene on You!

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Posted by mandyandbrian

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Posted by PoppedInASnap

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Posted by evewedsjc

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Posted by PoppedInASnap

Can I do one?

Dear FH's doctor...

If youcontinue to ignore my calls, I will borrow Eves wooden spoon and beat you with it until you tell me where his blood results are....

And on top of that, I will key the brand new Jag that you have parked outside your office....

Liar liar pants on FIRE...

Sincerely

a wife to be....

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i am sending the spoon right over!!!

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Yesterday, while calling his office, i got so mad i actually broke my heel of my boots from hitting the wall...im lucky i didnt break my foot....

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if the spoon doesn't work, i have a baseball bat. it's all yours!

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Thank you!

dear body,head,nose,throat,

if u all dont step it up and feel better soon i will be forced to throw ur body in front of traffic and u will not be able to hang out together anymore

love your congested friend gina

Dear FH,
I can't take anymore of your snoring...I will buy you some of the nose strips to control this....I am tired of running to the couch to get some rest.

From your wife to be,
Latoya

Dear computer system at work,

Will you please make up your mind on wether or not you want to work today becasue I am getting very tired of logging in and being kicked off every five minutes

Love your frustrated work partner

Oooo and i have another

Dear Father Guy

Thank you for never calling me back to tell me when i should start confirmation. Your secretary has taken my number a total of twelve times. So, when I get married under sin, I am blaming you at my judgement...

Sincerely,
Non-Confirmed

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Posted by PoppedInASnap

Oooo and i have another

Dear Father Guy

Thank you for never calling me back to tell me when i should start confirmation. Your secretary has taken my number a total of twelve times. So, when I get married under sin, I am blaming you at my judgement...

Sincerely,
Non-Confirmed

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I am blaming you at my judgement...

the best comment ever!!!!

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Posted by PoppedInASnap

Oooo and i have another

Dear Father Guy

Thank you for never calling me back to tell me when i should start confirmation. Your secretary has taken my number a total of twelve times. So, when I get married under sin, I am blaming you at my judgement...

Sincerely,
Non-Confirmed

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OMG! could you imagine explaining this to St. Peter at the gates?

Dear Invite Company,


Where the F**K is my invite proof?! I dont care if you cut your staff by 10% and things are now slower! I want my PROOF!


Kind Reagrds,

Will Stalk for Proof